Parents.......

[Mela'h]

We are all at the age where we are dealing with aging/sick parents or even the deaths of our parents. So, what is your relationship like with your parents? Is it good and have you made peace with them? Have you decided not to have a relationship with them? Do you have a new appreciation for them now that you've raised kids or are raising teens or pre-teens? Or have you come to the realization that you've become what you most dreaded - one of your parents!?


If you have gone through the death of one or both of your parents, what sorts of things changed for you?


I know for me, the death of my mom made me very aware that I was now at the front of the line so to speak.:o And going through the process of watching her deteriorate, go into a care home and watching her life slip away was very much an emotional roller coaster ride for me. There was forgiveness extended and reconcilliation and peace at the end and a new found love for my mom. I guess I grew up in the process of watching my mother leave this world.

 

[~Wisdom Seeker~]

We are all at the age where we are dealing with aging/sick parents or even the deaths of our parents.

My parents are in their mid sixties. They aren't really old yet, nor are they sick. And they are both still living.

So, what is your relationship like with your parents?

I would say that my relationship with my Mother is great. She's basically the only person who really gets me.

My relationship with my father is unfortunately not as good as I would like. My husband had a cancer scare. And I internalized and withdrew from everyone. And he wasn't very understanding.

 

[blessedmomof5]

Parents.... For me i find it easier to not have a close relasonship with my father mostly his choice, but he would never admit it, when at the age of 72..i think.. and you hold a knife against your childs arm and hurt her over something so inappropiate, that does not make a father, but i feel so Blessed that i have a true Father that loves me No matter what, and he is in Heaven......Praise the lord..... to long of a story with dad, i might have a loud mouth from him , but trying to change that , do not want to be like him....not a good role model, and he has been sick with his heart for yrs and other issues, i believe not long for this world......i will be sad for the fact we never had a loving father daughter relasonship, but i suppose it was not meant to be for me, only for my sister and him.......

ahhhhh my mother.....

overwhelming, needy, smoothering, but loves me in her own weird way . i Promise myself i would never become her to my children and torment them like she did me over things in her life.....i try my best to stay away from my family, the only one that i share a bond with is my brother, love him to death, but lives to far away.......

wow what a sad life.... but i will make sure i will never do to my children what my parents have done to me.......
although i love them, i do not need them daily in my life...

 

[TammyInChrist]

[sign]HUGS[/sign] For Everyone Life's tough BUT God is Good

My parents are divorced, I was an only child, my dad is 62 and mom is 59, I can see there health declining a bit and makes me want to really be close but it's just not there. I love my dad, he is very tall and still a goodlooking man, hard worker but is very quite and stays very busy,we communicate through my step mom.

My mom didnt stay remarried long and has lived by herself for well over 15 yrs. I yearn for my mom to understand me more, and to let me help her.....she always pays me for work that I do for her, which is nice but I would do it for free! She will not let me pay for a meal at a resturaunt nor give her anything, it's hard to give her a piece of cake....she wants to pay me back for the cake mix and icing

Her health is getting worse, she is diabetic and isnt eating properly, she has high blood pressure, bone spurs, aches and pains and still is a very hard worker but complains about not feeling good,

I know I will miss her very much when she goes to Heaven but , know in my heart she will be better off (want we all?)

I think I am afraid of how I will feel when my parents pass on!

 

[Tangnefedd]

My Dad is dying, but lingering longer than the doctor expected, which is not good for him, or the rest of us. My Mum has taken to her bed with the strain of it all. I said my goodbyes to Dad last week. They live on an island near the coast of France, I live in the UK. I think we will all be relieved when it is over.

Dad is being well cared for in a lovely nursing home, as will my mother when the time comes. I know my limitations and caring for elderly relatives is not something I would contemplate. I have told my children that no way must they let me be a burden to them. They assured me that when I get more of a pain than I am now they will put me in a wheelchair, with the brake off, at the top of a cliff in a hurricane.

 

[blessedmomof5]

Tangnefedd

My Heart and prayers go out to you at this time, as i wish your Dad no longer suffers, through whatever it is he is dealing with....

I give you admoration for being able to say goodbye, it is a hard thing to do....

May God be with you and your family at this time.

Denise

 

[Tangnefedd]

Thanks BMof5.

I tried to make my goodbye as much fun as possible, I couldn't handle the death bed bit without humour. Dad appreciated this and rallied a bit.

 

[Ritz]

My Dad died right before my wedding in '88.My Mom died 3 years ago of pancreatic cancer and she went within weeks,leaving me so upset and stressed my hair fell out for months.We never got along that well until I got married,then we had more in common.
My Dad a 2 pack a day smoker died way too young as far as I'm concerned.His sudden death stopped me from smoking.I've changed alot since he died as he was my Hero.

 

[country woman]

I had a great relationship with my mom who passed away from cancer July 1 2004 and now my sister and I are looking after our dad who is terminal with a heat condition. He might not be here for Christmas.I have a great relationship with my dad too. I love spending time with him.

 

[buffedstuff]

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[humbled4Jesus]

My mom died of Leukemia 5 years ago, and I'm an only kid and adopted on top of that! My dad and I are so tight its not funny. We live in the same apartment complex one building away from each other. He is 75 and I find myself trying to prepare for the worst. I have a 12 year old son that is behaviorly disordered and without my dad I have no idea how to handle this child alone. He is just way too violent and aggressive. My dad has always been there for me, pulled me out of horrid situations, and the thought of my dad not being there is just devastating to me. I pray about the situation a lot. God has always carried me in the past, when I was unable to walk through a problem, so I guess I am just gonna do my best, and lean on Christ when the time comes. God bless our Parents

 

[humbled4Jesus]

Oh Cookie, I frequently think about how I am going to deal with losing my dad. My mom died of Leukemia about 5 years ago. My dad is now 75 and we are sooo tight. We live only a few buildings away from each other. I was an only child and to this day at the age of 43 I'm still "daddys little girl". I really depend on him emotionally, too much I am afraid. He helps me immensly with my 12 year old who has ADHD and Aspergers. We talk every day and see each other just about every other day, because we live so close. I would go so far as to say we are probably codependant on each other. When I'm feeling down so is he and visa versa.

I notice as he gets older, our roles are changing and he comes to me for advice and help more often. I have never told him, but I find it kind of scary. I've never seen my dad in need before and now that he is really getting up there in age it is starting to show. My faith has helped a lot. I pray for him all the time.

Edit: I didn't notice I had replied to this a few days ago hehe I tried to delete but there is no delete option. Sorry.... guess I needed to vent!

 

[Mela'h]

I feel for you H4J As an only child, the prospect of losing your dad must be so scary to even think about. The changing of roles can really throw you for a loop too hey? It is hard to give up being the one in need of support and find yourself almost parenting your parent. And with the added challenge of raising your son and contemplating not having your father around to help must be almost overwhelming for you at times.

Do you have a good supportive church family H4J? I hope and pray that you do, and if you don't I pray that God would put loving supportive people in your life to help you carry your burden.

It is hard to watch our once vibrant parents grow old and slow down and need us in a whole new way. I know that I was certainly not ready for it with my mom. But God is not surprised by our circumstances and he remains faithful in everything. It is hard to trust him while you're in the situation, but you just get to the point where that is all that is left for you to do.

I am glad that you are here H4J. I will keep you and your son and father in my prayers.

 

[wrldstrman]

There dont seem to be a lot of posts from men in this forum but I would like to say I am very greatful I have a good christian mom who raised me up knowing the lord. My mom is one of kindest,loving moms anyone could have.My dad past away many years ago and I often wonder if he knew the lord,he was never one to go to church or talk about God but we can never know whats in ones heart..With each passing day more and more people I know are passing away .we are a funny people it seems like we think death is never going to come for us but it will come to all of us when its our time..I know when it comes time for my mom to pass if I dont first I will be able to smile knowing she is home and we will see eachother again.I get called a nut sometimes but I can hardly wait to go home..Ive seen enough of this world to know I dont like it..Plus a lot of the things my fleshy nature enjoys are not things Jesus would rank high on the you should do scale. Can you imagine never being hungry..I get hungry several times a day...never being thirty,never being sick wow and thats forever I cant even count the times ive been to the doctors with broken bones,sickness,seiziours,cuts,etc,not to mention,the smaller pains like hitting your thumb with a hammer,stepping on nails..and knowing you will never die and everyone around you will be there forever.and the greatest thing is the Lord will be there...It brings tears to my eyes everytime I read it..he will wipe away every tear....not our moms or dads or siblings but the Lord himself.Can you even imagine the the Holy God CREATOR oF all things will take the time to wipe our tears away..I am overjoyed that my mom showed me the way to the Lord so I can say she brought me into this world and helped me find my way to my eternal home...So God bless mom.

 

[Ladyday95]

My relationship with mom has not always been good but now have forgiven her. I live with her now to take care of her, after she had couple stokes, she asked me move back with her so she would not be alone... my brother and sister would not help. I am the "baby" so is my responsibilty.... am also a nurse...

 

[Mela'h]

Hey ladyday, your mom is blessed to have you as a daughter