Parents.... Grr

[Princess Leia]

My Mom is driving me NUTS!
I talked to her about going to visit Cory in December, and she agreed to it, but when I brought it up again yesterday, she said no.
Is anyone else here in an online relationship? What were your parent's reactions to you wanting to meet the other person?

Thanks
Princess Leia/Kendra

 

[wolfiswill]

My mom was very skeptical about the whole thing. We met online last December and I went to visit in April. She came down in May and my family likes her a lot.

 

[Inperfected]

Well he isn't my boiyfriend but i have recently met a guy from online... He was great, my mum didn't meet him, but just treated me going to see him as normal and fine...

I think you have to obey, but check out why she's nervous (or whatever) as well

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Could you go with someone else? An older sibling, an aunt? Someone slightly older than you (not necessarily mom), that your mom knows has a good head on their shoulder and will look after you.

If he's the RIGHT kind of guy, he won't be offended by this - and should be impressed by you being sensible and cautious with this. And, you're mom would probably be a bit more understanding of the situation, if she knows that you've thought of your safety, and got someone who will be there for you if things go a bit squewiff.

That's my suggestion, anyway! When I met people I had talked to online, I made sure there was someone there that I was friends with all ready, so that if I felt uncomfortable or needed 'me' time, I had someone there with me.

You're mum just wants to make sure you're okay - it's a HUUUGE thing for her, knowing you love someone, who lives so far away, and who she doesn't know and knows you don't know face to face.

I think it would be wise - the friend/relative doesn't have to be there the WHOLE time, but at least they'll be around if you need someone, and can also give you an outsider's opinion of the situation.

Sasch

 

[peanutbutter12]

Online, it's hard to tell whether or not people are showing their "true self". A couple questions to ask yourself would be:

1. How well do I REALLY know this person? You may think you know a person really well, you may think they are being honest, and you may want to believe everything they say is truth, but how do you really know? Are you involved and talking to their friends and family? I believe that getting involved with the people around them will give you much more of a better idea about who they are. If they don't want you involved with their offline friends and family, there is something very wrong here. Maybe they want it to be all secretive because they are afraid of what they will think or that their parents will be mad. This is a brew for trouble.

2. If the parents are against it, do you continue the relationship or sneak behind their back? This is another trouble causing element, but now you bring God in the picture. If the persons involved willingly disobey God and his commandments (Thou shalt not bear false witness/Thou shalt honour thy father and mother), then how can it be a relationship based on him and his word? It can't. And it's not like you can keep it secret forever. Relationship wise, one of the biggest issues I hear about is "my parents don't approve". It goes beyond dating, but in the same, kids today don't know how to honour their parents. God commands us to listen to them whether or not we agree with what they say. It's not our place to argue, just listen. But we grow in a culture where it's "ok" to argue with those we disagree with, even if they hold a higher station than we do. Not ok...

I could go on and on about this, but I don't have the time. Good luck.

CJ

 

[scraparcs]

My Mom is driving me NUTS!
I talked to her about going to visit Cory in December, and she agreed to it, but when I brought it up again yesterday, she said no.
Is anyone else here in an online relationship? What were your parent's reactions to you wanting to meet the other person?

Thanks
Princess Leia/Kendra

I was in an online relationship until we moved closer together. My parents were both deceased by the time we met, but I looked forward to talking to his parents. Has he talked to your mother? Maybe if he brought up the idea, it would show her that he is responsible.

Just a thought.

 

[Corbobs]

Ah...moms...But I'm sure she'll say yes after talking to my mom.
col...I see we're aloud to post in the courting couples now, huh Kendra? Cool...a new place to post...that's always nice...

May the God of all Creation bless us all beyond our own comprehenison.

 

[Leanna]

Could you go with someone else? An older sibling, an aunt? Someone slightly older than you (not necessarily mom), that your mom knows has a good head on their shoulder and will look after you.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

 

[Princess Leia]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I've suggested to Mom that she and Cory's Mom need to talk before we meet, but so far it hasn't happened yet.
I think the reason she's nervous is because I've made it clear that Cory is someone I want to date and get to know better, and she doesn't want me to date until after college. She got married young (19) and her marriage ended very badly. She's afraid that I'm gonna end up the same way, I think. But how will I ever find out anything if she won't let me meet him??

Princess Leia/Kendra

P.S. Yes, Cory, we can post in here now And it's "allowed", not "aloud"

 

[livingondreams]

Though it definitely seems like it at times, parents aren't trying to suck all the fun out of our lives.

I think your mom is just concerned for you. It's natural for a parent to want a better life (or marriage in this case) for a daughter than he or she had. Maybe you can sit down and have a talk with your mom. Tell her that just because you are meeting Cory doesn't mean you're going to run off and marry him tomorrow. Explain that you aren't her, and you need to learn from your own experiences and not hers.

I hope everything works out!