Parenting help-emergency!!

[Heatherpedz]

I'm in need of some major payer and help. I just recently had a baby, he is 2 months old. I also have a daughter who just turned 5.my 5 yr old killed my pet turtle today while I was feeding my son in the other room. I had not discovered it until my husband came home with my 2 step children for spring break (my 8yr old stepson found it next to the couch). When I sat with her and talked with her about it she was very upset about it and it took a lot to get her to tell me what happened. She said that she had taken a knife from the kitchen drawer and "shoved it in his mouth real hard" when I asked why she said she didn't like how he would try to bite her finger through the glass of the tank. She knew she had done something very bad and this is why she was hesitant and in tears to tell me. I am heart broken. We had her therapist come and talk with her immediately today. She just started seeing one last week because she hasn't been sleeping well at night. She gets out of bed in the middle of the night and gets into things.. we have put up anything sharp in our home, but I'm still heartbroken. Her biological father had the same issues. It was one of the reasons I left him when she was still a baby is because he would abuse our pets. :- (

 

[faroukfarouk]

God bless your family and congrats. on the new baby!

Unfortunately small kids sometimes do play with knives if they can get at them. Sorry to read of this experience.

 

[Heatherpedz]

God bless your family and congrats. on the new baby!

Unfortunately small kids sometimes do play with knives if they can get at them. Sorry to read of this experience.

Thank you, I've had the turtle for 7 years, it hurts me to know she died so painfully.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thank you, I've had the turtle for 7 years, it hurts me to know she died so painfully.

Sad, yes; some of them can live quite a long while, otherwise, can't they.

 

[Heatherpedz]

Sad, yes; some of them can live quite a long while, otherwise, can't they.

Yes 50-70 yrs for the one I had. I was homing to pass it on to her one day for her own family when she had children...guess that's not going to happen. I just get a sucking feeling inot my stomach about it and I can't sleep. I love my daughter with all of my heart. I'm finding it so hard to give it to God and forgive her for it. I told her I wasn't angry and I was just sad but I am angry. :- (

 

[Heatherpedz]

We are going to bury and say goodbye to her tomorrow

 

[faroukfarouk]

Yes 50-70 yrs for the one I had. I was homing to pass it on to her one day for her own family when she had children...guess that's not going to happen. I just get a sucking feeling inot my stomach about it and I can't sleep. I love my daughter with all of my heart. I'm finding it so hard to give it to God and forgive her for it. I told her I wasn't angry and I was just sad but I am angry. :- (

Well, it's understandable that you're shocked and disappointed. I guess this is why the law recognizes that infants who do crazy things aren't responsible. Now if she had been an adult or an adolescent and done it, the situation would have been vastly different (not that your sadness about the turtle would be different).

 

[faroukfarouk]

We are going to bury and say goodbye to her tomorrow

Sad, yes. (I didn't know you could have turtle icons...)

 

[BFine]

Does your daughter have visitations with her
dad?

 

[tturt]

Has her behavior changed since the new baby arrived?

(Yes, Yahweh bless you and your family plus congrats on the new one).

 

[Locum7]

Help her to understand what she did was wrong and why, teach her why messing with knives is bad and dangerous, and advise her that is she feels threatened by things, that she needs to talk to you about it rather than just dealing with it herself. There may be underlying issues, did she ever witness his behaviour towards animals?

 

[lindart]

Congratulations on your new baby! I appreciate your transparency over this situation. Your honesty allows for Godly wisdom and Godly compassion for what you are going through. I remarried 25 years ago with my 5 young children and his 4 older children. Yes, nine and they are all adults blessing us with grandchildren! I have gone through what you are going through, in different ways, some very challenging and worrisome. Three of our children had significant issues over the breakup of their family. The issues became evident with 'acting out' as children. Young children who aren't able to put to words their emotional turmoil will tend to express this through their behaviors. If I may, please let me share with you my advice. Your 5 year old daughter may be struggling with the many changes in her young life. Her parents divorced, she has a new stepdad, and step siblings and now there is a new baby. My thoughts are that she is indeed struggling. Her nocturnal jaunts and the turtle incident are her way of expressing her inner turmoil. You come across as a very loving mom, God bless you. Your daughter has significant needs to be met...I believe more one on one with you will be a good step forward, I know, you are very busy now, but it can be done, it's that important. May God bless you and your family!