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shadowgem

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Well, I´m am struggling so badly I don´t know what to do with myself. I´m on holiday with members of my family and I don´t want to be here. I can´t see any future. I´ve been ill for 15 years now with depression although no psychosis now.

My psychologist agrees that my upbringing had a significant effect on me. I´ve forgiven and I tried church, but after opening up to a woman there I feel seriously messed up from some of the things she said. Things like God won´t want me to have a career (which I´ve always really wanted) because he wants to be first in my life. (At the moment I don´t work and am on disability).

Meaningless, everything is meaningless.

I am seriously overweight now - triggered by drugs for the mental illness. I gave up my dreams of an education because my husband (now separated) didn´t want to support me, after my parents not wanting to support me too.

Life sucks.

I believe in God but I don´t believe that life works out for everybody. There´s too much suffering in the world. I´m stuck in a rut and I can´t see a way out.

Well, have to go and put on a false face I wear when I´m with my family. Pain gets so deep doesn´t it?
 

AWorkInProgress

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Well, I´m am struggling so badly I don´t know what to do with myself. I´m on holiday with members of my family and I don´t want to be here. I can´t see any future. I´ve been ill for 15 years now with depression although no psychosis now.

My psychologist agrees that my upbringing had a significant effect on me. I´ve forgiven and I tried church, but after opening up to a woman there I feel seriously messed up from some of the things she said. Things like God won´t want me to have a career (which I´ve always really wanted) because he wants to be first in my life. (At the moment I don´t work and am on disability).

Meaningless, everything is meaningless.

I am seriously overweight now - triggered by drugs for the mental illness. I gave up my dreams of an education because my husband (now separated) didn´t want to support me, after my parents not wanting to support me too.

Life sucks.

I believe in God but I don´t believe that life works out for everybody. There´s too much suffering in the world. I´m stuck in a rut and I can´t see a way out.

Well, have to go and put on a false face I wear when I´m with my family. Pain gets so deep doesn´t it?
Not that I'm the best role model right now.

Life is ok, hard part is believing it. We have challenges and with the wisdom in the bible we can overcome all these demons.

You need hope and faith my friend. Faith that our father will help you and hope that not all is lost.

Start small, your cry for help is a good start. It's the stepping stone to greater help. Don't look for strength in your family, but look to god. Jesus will show you the way. Doesn't make much sense right now, but I assure you that it will if you try.

Have to sort out your problems, as you get the demons off your back or have them stop oppressing you. Your energy will return and your goals will be very achievible.

Do not lose hope!
 
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Catherineanne

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Well, I´m am struggling so badly I don´t know what to do with myself. I´m on holiday with members of my family and I don´t want to be here. I can´t see any future. I´ve been ill for 15 years now with depression although no psychosis now.

My psychologist agrees that my upbringing had a significant effect on me.

If you have highly resistant depression, combined with a difficult childhood, there is a possibility that you have complex posttraumatic stress disorder, rather than depression. Depression is a primary symptom, but if you only treat the symptom, without addressing the causes, the cptsd will not go away.

I am not a doctor, so do not take my word for it. But take a look for yourself and see whether it fits.

http://www.jimhopper.com/trauma_and_recovery/

I wish you well in your search.

Meanwhile, as to what God wants for any of us, imho, he wants us to be the best we can possibly be, and that is the person he created us to be; made in his own image and fulfilled in our lives by serving others in whatever life we are called to. That can be done both in a career and in the home, so there is no question of choosing between God and a career. When you return to work, God will go with you, and will bless everything you lay before him. So whoever this woman is, she is talking nonsense. :D

If you are not working now, is there any education open to you? I think the people to contact are at LearnDirect. Maybe God is giving you this time to achieve the education you want.

http://www.learndirect.co.uk/
 
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