Overcoming fear...

megan_26 said:

I've lived a great deal of my life in fear: fear of failure, fear of getting in trouble and so forth. I'm very grateful for my parents and without them and the way they taught me, I would be very lost right now. However, they do still have flaws and as a result of this, I'm used to always having to walk on eggshells around everyone. I'm afraid of making people upset, afraid of not being good enough, afraid of failing, falling short, getting laughed at...all of it. And it's holding me back. I've talked to God about this, read countless verses about fear, and still He remains silent on this issue...I trust that He hears me but I'm really at a loss right now. Does anyone have any ideas on how to overcome such fear? Is this something I just need to walk with God on? It feels like it's going to be a long process of undoing, since it's been something I've dealt with (But not been aware of) for my whole life.

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It has been a long process for me, and I'm still struggling with it to this day. But I'm hopeful God will set me free from the fear of man. Which is exactly what it is. This fear has held me back from speaking up in class, talking to new people, and telling friends/family that they've hurt my feelings. Because I was scared of what people would think of me or how they would treat me after the fact. But the thing is, everyone falls short. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. We all fail, we make mistakes and sometime we get embarrassed by those mistakes.

It's one thing to acknowledge these short comings and its another to dwell on them. The more I get to know God and what he thinks about me, the more I don't really care about what others think of me. I'm not saying that now I go around acting like a fool cause I don't care anymore I'm saying even when I'm trying and I fail, or when I say something stupid in class and people laugh at me, I let that feeling come, whatever it may be and then I let it go. We all fail. You will fail things in life. We cant live a perfect life. That's why Jesus came. To live the life we couldn't. How awesome right?! Be encouraged that Jesus lives in us and is with us always!

In regards to how you can overcome it. It really is something to take up with God. And I know a lot of the times I pray about things and feel like its fallen on deaf ears, but the reality is it hasn't. And you seem to know that too. We don't know why God does the things He does. Or why He doesn't answer our prayers like how we want Him to, or when we want Him to.

I would suggest just spending more time in prayer and the Bible. Start going to church if you haven't already. Start helping out at church if you haven't already. I tell ya, the lessons I teach in the Children's Ministry has taught me a lot! And just focusing on Jesus and what He did for you Try filling your mind with Gods promises and His character, and whenever you get negative thought you can fire back with scripture

Hope this helped somewhat

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7

If you've read "the verses" and you're saying God hasn't spoken to you, it's not because he is silent. It's a matter of taking him at his word for what he really did say and promise. Which verses specifically did you read?

Well actually readying the Bible is God speaking to you. That's the most common way He speaks to us is through His word. It's not specifically detail for detail for our exact situation but you can tell if what your reading applies to your situation. God speaks through many things. His word,experiences, prophets. A lot of questions we have can be answered in the Bible. I was saying I've prayed a lot and expected God to answer my prayers right away and in a certain way and He didn't. His word is living. He has spoken to me a lot through scripture.


John 14:27

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.


Proverbs 1:33

But all who listen to me will live in peace,
untroubled by fear of harm."


Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.


Here's just a couple. But you can find so many on google and on some other websites. Have you also tried doing a devotional book? I personally really like them and found them helpful for me on my journey with Christ.

Baseless fears and doubts about our salvation and faith are fiery darts from the wicked one - EPH.6:16-17, MATT.4:1-11.

Similarly for our anxieties, hate, anger, greed, selfishness, jealousy and other involuntary evil/satanic/sinful thoughts.(JOHN.8:44, MARK.7:21, MATTHEW.16:23 & 23:27, 1JOHN.3:8, ROMANS.5:12)
....... Eg to banish certain fears/anxieties, keep God's Law or Moses Law because those who do so will be protected and blessed by God/Jesus = gain a good and long life on earth - 1JOHN.5:16-21, DEUT.28, PROV.1 .
....... Being saved from hell when we die rests solely on faith/believe/trust in Jesus Christ.

P S - At ACTS.15:24-29, God has exempted new Gentile Christians from any law of Moses which is a burden, eg circumcision and kosher foods. They are not exempted from any law which is not a burden, esp morality laws, eg the Ten Commandments(EXO.20), DEUT.18:9-14, LEV.10:9 & 18:22, etc.
....... In comparison, new Jewish Christians are required by God to continue to keep as many law of Moses as possible because it is not a burden to them.

Those who wantonly or ignorantly break God's Law will risk losing their salvation, like the wife of Job who cursed God/Jesus and died while suffering for Job's ignorant sin.(JOB.1:5, 1COR.5:1-5 & 11:30 & 6:9-11, REV.22:12-15)

megan_26 said:

Does anyone have any ideas on how to overcome such fear? Is this something I just need to walk with God on? It feels like it's going to be a long process of undoing

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It probably will be a process, but how long I don't know. Approach it with a positive faith and God will get you there as quickly as possible. "Do not despise the day of small beginnings."

Make what adjustments you can in the natural. Try to straighten out relationships, or if that can't be done, contain them or distance yourself from them as you can. God works through people, but people, per se, are no longer our source. Often we have to place relationships on the altar and make sure God has first place in our lives, otherwise we have an idol. As has been said, if we have a healthy fear of God, we need not fear anything else.

Love, and the faith that works through love, is what conquers fear. We love because He first loved us (1jn 4.18-19), and who is forgiven much, loves much (Lk 7.47). Draw near to God, learn of His mercy, kindness and gentleness, and feed on His faithfulness (Mt 11.28-30). As you do that, you will gain the ability, through the growing power of faith (Eph 6.12-ff, 1jn 3.15, Heb 2.14-15), to say No to ungodliness (Tit 2) and step out of the devil's snare (2Cor 2.11).

megan_26 said:

I've lived a great deal of my life in fear: fear of failure, fear of getting in trouble and so forth. I'm very grateful for my parents and without them and the way they taught me, I would be very lost right now. However, they do still have flaws and as a result of this, I'm used to always having to walk on eggshells around everyone. I'm afraid of making people upset, afraid of not being good enough, afraid of failing, falling short, getting laughed at...all of it. And it's holding me back. I've talked to God about this, read countless verses about fear, and still He remains silent on this issue...I trust that He hears me but I'm really at a loss right now. Does anyone have any ideas on how to overcome such fear? Is this something I just need to walk with God on? It feels like it's going to be a long process of undoing, since it's been something I've dealt with (But not been aware of) for my whole life.

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I also used to live in fear, much like you describe here. Since I've been largely intellectual all my life, what I needed was sound doctrine. After reading Hebrews about 10 times, I finally understood that my faith directed toward Christ was the key to my having "an anchor for my soul" in God.

But fear is a very complex matter, especially if it's in every nook and cranny of your psyche like it was in me. It took some years with several major breakthroughs to overcome it. The bottom line is that I needed to know I had a defender in heaven, as it says "your life is hidden with Christ in God".

Some details: I cared too much about what people thought of me, because my father was long on discipline and short on affection. My breakthrough here was forgiveness, that is, releasing the psychological pain of that lack into the hands of God, and releasing my father of his due justice in my own mind.

I also wrote a letter to God asking him what I wanted most at the time, which was a fulfillment of Rom. 8:16 which says "the Spirit of God bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God." I felt as if I desperately needed this experience. After 7 years of waiting for the answer, God answered it in a mighty way, and I have never since questioned my relationship with Him.

I needed to have a conversion of thinking from worrying about what others think, to being honest and authentic with others. This required joining a recovery group and confessing my secrets and forgivenesses, and it proved to me that people could accept me as I was because they are in the same boat of faith. It humbled me enough to make me forgive myself.

There are other breakthroughs I had to get me where I am now, but suffice it to say that I am free of fear, and I experience what John wrote in 1 Jn. 4:18 - "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

When you become certain that God loves you (you can feel it in the deepest parts of your body), then you can be honest with people and not worry about what they think or what they can do to you.
TD

God has indeed spoken to you through His word. The scriptures are full of verses about fear: be bold, be strong, fear not, do not be afraid. Read the book of Joshua, and you will see God commanding courage over and over.

The antidote to fear is trust in God. By faith, choose to go to Him in constant prayer for direction, and then follow that direction. You will still be fearful, but courage is doing what you have to do despite fear.

The worst thing you can do is to be passive and decide to wait until the feeling of fear goes away. It won't. It's important to move forward despite the feeling. Over time, the feeling will diminish.

People pleasing is a trap. It cripples your relationships because it lacks honesty. It's important to choose your words wisely and to always be kind, but it is also important to be honest and authentic. Some things should go unsaid, but if you are not speaking because of fear of negative feedback, then you have put yourself in a prison of what-ifs. People won't trust you because they never know what you are really thinking. Speak the truth in love if you need to, even if someone might not want to hear it. Think of how Jesus spoke to the woman at the well. People respect those who are authentic and reflect the love of Christ.

As has been said, God has spoken to you and has not been silent. You say that you trust in His Word, but the evidence is that you do not, otherwise on what premise shall you maintain that God has not answered you? I say this to admonish, not merely to criticize. The Scriptures declare that God will never leave us or forsake us but, rather, even goes before us (Deuteronomy 31:8). In case you are concerned about the context not applying to you, Hebrews 3:5 confirms it does. Also, Paul, in writing to the young minister Timothy exclaimed:

"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God." (2 Timothy 1:7-8)

How do you expect God to "answer" you when a further answer would merely be a repetition of the one already given you? That He will never leave you, He will go before you, and gives you a Spirit of power, love, self-discipline and not fear.

Analogously, think of the marital relationship and the nature of the personal interactions and self-disclosures therein (since marriage is an analogy of our relationship with Christ, Ephesians 5:31-32, 2 Corinthians 11:2). If a man comforts his wife with assurity that he will never divorce her or commit adultery under any circumstances imaginable or unimagined, if she does not believe it, or does believe it sometimes and other times becomes unconvinced, how shall she have confidence? How shall he provide her with the assurity she seeks if she refuses to accept his professions with no reason to suspect the contrary?

Though God be completely trustworthy and sincere, the same consequence of our baseless doubt applies: God can not embolden us if we detach ourselves from His Word in disbelief. Encouragement becomes a prayer God can not even answer without supplanting your very soul from your emotions, since He can only continue to disclose His nature and will to you and you either accept or deny it. Remember:

"God is not a man, that He should lie, not a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19)

I guess the only way to overcome your fear is to face it and not to run away from it. Even if you embarass yourself in the process just think that others will soon forget about it because you are not the only person that they have to think about.

megan_26 said:

I've lived a great deal of my life in fear: fear of failure, fear of getting in trouble and so forth. I'm very grateful for my parents and without them and the way they taught me, I would be very lost right now. However, they do still have flaws and as a result of this, I'm used to always having to walk on eggshells around everyone. I'm afraid of making people upset, afraid of not being good enough, afraid of failing, falling short, getting laughed at...all of it. And it's holding me back. I've talked to God about this, read countless verses about fear, and still He remains silent on this issue...I trust that He hears me but I'm really at a loss right now. Does anyone have any ideas on how to overcome such fear? Is this something I just need to walk with God on? It feels like it's going to be a long process of undoing, since it's been something I've dealt with (But not been aware of) for my whole life.

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In all truth, there is no such thing as a fearless person. But a person living in fear is a person behind bars more powerful than steel and that is why throughout the Bible, the Word of God tells us “FEAR NOT” so as to assure us of the promise of comfort, security, and peace in Christ alone.

Have a read through my blog post on the link below regarding facing fears and Anxiety. God bless.
Facing Anxiety