Options when severe problems exist?

[InTheFlame]

I've read a few posts today which SEEM to say that there are only 2 options in resolving marriage difficulties - staying together in the same house & bedroom, or divorce. Do you think there are intermediate steps? Are these good/bad/helpful/destructive?

 

[Southern Cross]

I've tried to think of other options. Separation, either temporary or long term, seems to be the only reasonable one to me. Sometimes you just need time to miss the other person. The only way this would be productive is if there is a plan in place to bring the marriage back together. Like planning date nights, counseling sessions, time together with the kids. Otherwise, without a plan, you stand a good chance of watching your marriage just slip away...

There can also be separation in the same house, sleeping in different bedrooms (which doesn't always work well, especially if there are kids in the house).

There are other options that I've seen people try. Like living platonically as roommates with the occasional romp between the sheets.

I've often wondered if the monks in the middle ages knew something we didn't. One day I'm going to have to strip, run naked into a stream in the middle of winter, throw ice water over myself and whip my own back with willow branches until my body turns blue. Maybe that'll give me a new perspective on marriage troubles .

Bottom line, sometimes I think couples lose sight of all the options. That's why it's so good to locate and visit a good counselor. Sometimes a gifted counselor can help a confused or angry couple understand viable alternatives vs. their one sided decisions.

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

I guess it depends on the problem the couple is dealing with. I would probably never reccomend divorce but temporary or permanent seperation.
The best solution is for every one to start fully obeying God's word but most reject that idea, so we are left with a bunch of second best ones.

 

[KGirl]

I wouldn't recommend separation. I think the two people should be able to work things out together. I dunno, I know sometimes it's good to be by ourselves a little and think about things, but I don't think you two should sleep seperately, or stay in different places whatnot. I think if people can't live without constant argument, then that's sad. People can learn to compromise somehow with things. And, if two people do certain things differently, I think they should learn to look past it and love the person inspite of it. I've had to learn that.

Though, can you give some examples of major problems? If you mean, say, drugs.. all you can do is pray? And don't be around them if they're like that. I'd suggest going and doing something with friends, or just spending time doing something else. If they break the law, I don't see anything wrong with getting them in trouble. Hopefully they'd learn.. and if you don't do anything, it's like you're just as guilty. It would show that you won't sit back and let it happen, but you won't force them to stop (by say threatening to leave or whatnot, can't think of that many examples lol). You'd just be letting authorities take care of it.