onset times?

[icedtea]

Does personality disorders or emtional disturbances ever onset at puberty? Because my son changed completely last summer when he went through it.
He got violent, now he throws tantrums, throws things, says horrid things to me, total disobedience.
He was always well behaved as a toddler, no terrible anythings.

 

[cypher000]

It does sound like something is going on in your son's life, but it doesn't mean he developing an illness. Generally the disorders you are referring to begin at a very young age and many theories point as well to genetic predisposition. Persons with personality disorders begin developing maladaptive coping skills; skills to maintain order in their fragile lives sometimes pre-birth and continue this process as they grow up in what are generally dysfunctional families. In some instances the dysfunction is perceived rather than real, but the child in some way fears for their safety. Your son sounds like he is going through a very normal stage of testing boundaries with you, but he may also be testing himself, his self-worth, his own existence as well. He likely has hooked up with some "friends" whom have misguided him and set him on the wrong path. I hope he has not found his way into the life of substance abuse...Children quite young, 12 or younger, are doing meth these days. I suggest you get to the bottom of his rage as this is not healthy for you or him. Do what ever you have to to assure he is not into things you would never imagine...

Tom

 

[icedtea]

No worries about that, he doesn't have any friends so I do know what he's doing at any given time.

 

[cypher000]

How can a young man grow without friends? Is he isolated by his own choice? This is clearly a problem that needs attention...I suggest you get him involved in church activities where he can meet and experience life with persons of his own age. It is no wonder he is frustrated...

Tom

 

[icedtea]

Part of the reason I had to pull him out of public school; he was continually harrassed.
He had one friend down the street, but he moved and my son is inconsolable about that. We have no church either.

 

[ExtremeDays]

Part of the reason I had to pull him out of public school; he was continually harrassed.
He had one friend down the street, but he moved and my son is inconsolable about that. We have no church either.

Aside from church, just some ideas where he might meet other kids:
nearby Awanas or Royal Rangers Bible clubs, park district programs, community college's family and youth programs, YMCA programs, other local clubs (such as chess) and sports teams....

I agree with the other poster to be cautious about assuming its a "disorder". Many of the disorders you really can't diagnose till they're older/adults. A few others such as Bipolar and ODD there are signs usually pretty early on.

Since he has been bullied and has lost an important friend maybe he has unresolved feelings/issues over these situations. Many kids who have been bulllied have a lot of anger over this, and may become violent/ and or controlling with others.Maybe he is feeling really bad about himself and is acting this out.

Also I think if a child who has usually had balanced behavior suddenly starts acting out, possibly somewhere somehow they had been hurt/abused. Maybe something by the bully(s), or otherwise. Not to worry you, but it does happen and it's best not to leave any stone unturned

 

[cypher000]

HowardDean,
You have received some good advice here...If necessary perhaps it is time to seek professional counseling for both yourself and your son to assure things do not escalate further out of control. I am sorry he has been bullied, this is always a very tough situation. My best friend in high school was bullied and I was bullied in jr. high. My parents didn't care, they just said stand up for yourself, so I ended up in many fights - some I won, some I lost... This route I do not recommend...besides, todays kids end up dead, not just bruised like in my day.

I do strongly encourage you to find a good church you can begin to attend. This would be a great place for your son to start new friendships...and you too.