We had a Thanksgiving get-together at our house the other day for DH's side of the family, and an interesting conversation came up. My stepson (I'll call him SS29) and his wife (I'll call her SDIL) are expecting their fourth child. SDIL, my stepdaughter, and I were talking and SDIL was complaining that when she told some man about her expecting her fourth child, he gave her a lecture that she's already had too many children. He said that she won't be able to afford to send them all to college, and I gather was trying to make her feel guilty for that. (I am not of the opinion that all parents owe their children an all-expense-paid college education, but it's nice to help if possible). He has only one child, makes good money, and brags about sending the child to college and seems to think everyone else should do the same. Anyway, I can understand why she was offended by that and I told her, "Some people think because something works well for them, that everyone else should do the same. Whether a person has one, 10, or no children, there are pros and cons no matter which you choose to do. It is easy for those who have chosen differently to come up with all the things wrong with what you have done, because they don't know or understand your experience." And she says "Yeah" and then proceeds to criticize people who have only one child. Hello?! 
She went on and on about how selfish it is for the people she knew who had an only child. She said the two only children she knows are lonely or spoiled. She's trying to convince her friend who has one child to have at least one more.
IMO, maybe having an only child does have an extra challenge of keeping the child from feeling lonely, but maybe that just means that you, as the parent are more responsible to spend time with the child and not expect him/her to go off in a corner to play alone all the time. And what about getting them plugged in somewhere outside the home where they have interests and friends? Is having a sibling the only way you can have a complete childhood? Also, it seems to me that having more children to keep one child from feeling lonely is, in a way, placing your responsibility as a parent on your future children. Having more children doesn't guarantee that all of your children won't feel lonely. I am the youngest of four children, all the others were older and had their own interests and didn't want me tagging along. I might as well have been an only child.
Anyway, back to the conversation with SDIL, then my other stepson, (not SDIL's husband) walks in the room and she asks him if he wants to have children, and he says '"no", so she starts badgering him about that. And I said to him, in front of her, "It's ok SS, having children is not for everyone. It's not for me".
It's just strange how a person gets offended when someone attacks their way of life, but then they are quick to turn around and attack someone else's.
She went on and on about how selfish it is for the people she knew who had an only child. She said the two only children she knows are lonely or spoiled. She's trying to convince her friend who has one child to have at least one more. IMO, maybe having an only child does have an extra challenge of keeping the child from feeling lonely, but maybe that just means that you, as the parent are more responsible to spend time with the child and not expect him/her to go off in a corner to play alone all the time. And what about getting them plugged in somewhere outside the home where they have interests and friends? Is having a sibling the only way you can have a complete childhood? Also, it seems to me that having more children to keep one child from feeling lonely is, in a way, placing your responsibility as a parent on your future children. Having more children doesn't guarantee that all of your children won't feel lonely. I am the youngest of four children, all the others were older and had their own interests and didn't want me tagging along. I might as well have been an only child.
Anyway, back to the conversation with SDIL, then my other stepson, (not SDIL's husband) walks in the room and she asks him if he wants to have children, and he says '"no", so she starts badgering him about that. And I said to him, in front of her, "It's ok SS, having children is not for everyone. It's not for me".
It's just strange how a person gets offended when someone attacks their way of life, but then they are quick to turn around and attack someone else's.
