Online Meeting

[Lia]

Ok Guys and Gals,

I know some of you guys here met their S.O. online and developed their relationships in persons (whether live in the same area or long-distance).

So, here's my case:
I've been talking for 5-6 months with this Godly gentleman I met online and we plan on meeting up on the second week of June. He's gonna fly to see me - he lives in the Southern state and I live in the North Eastern state.

We talked/discussed about courtship issue from "Boy Meets Girl", have been enjoying getting to know each other in a friendship-way (no mushy talk - we guard each others' hearts quite well so far). As our meeting is approaching in a few weeks, I'm having a mixed feeling...I'm happy, nervous, excited, etc. There are also expectations, anticipations, and what not.

For you guys who have gone through this... how do you do it? Is it clear enough that he is actually looking at exploring the possibility of courtship by coming to my place? Also, once you guys meet and everything goes well, how does your friendship stage become an official courtship? Or have any of you met each other, and decided that you were not a good match, how did you go about it? (I guess there's not much you can do if it doesn't work out, but I just want to hear if this case happened to you).

Feel free to share your stories! Any inputs/ideas/comments are welcomed.

Thanks,
Lia

 

[Iceman_Aragorn]

For you guys who have gone through this... how do you do it? Is it clear enough that he is actually looking at exploring the possibility of courtship by coming to my place? Also, once you guys meet and everything goes well, how does your friendship stage become an official courtship? Or have any of you met each other, and decided that you were not a good match, how did you go about it? (I guess there's not much you can do if it doesn't work out, but I just want to hear if this case happened to you).

Well, when she came to see me, i met her at the bus, she gave me a biiig hug, and then we went to a coffee shop and just sat and talked for a while. (Then later we went to an event known as Worship Invasion). We aren't formally in a courtship (though some say we might as well be), but I do know that she has met other people that she originally met online, and then just decided to stay friends with them, so it can happen.

Him coming by plane all the way to you? Well, unless he's rich and had nothing better to do, yeah, this is a very strong indication that he'd be willing to step it up.

In terms of how it becomes a courtship: I don't think it should be an iffy thing like dating...like 'after how many dates are you bf/gf'....when you start a courtship, its something you both explicitly agree to, and then set boundaries for and such.

 

[KristianJ]

Ok Guys and Gals,

I know some of you guys here met their S.O. online and developed their relationships in persons (whether live in the same area or long-distance).

So, here's my case:
I've been talking for 5-6 months with this Godly gentleman I met online and we plan on meeting up on the second week of June. He's gonna fly to see me - he lives in the Southern state and I live in the North Eastern state.

We talked/discussed about courtship issue from "Boy Meets Girl", have been enjoying getting to know each other in a friendship-way (no mushy talk - we guard each others' hearts quite well so far). As our meeting is approaching in a few weeks, I'm having a mixed feeling...I'm happy, nervous, excited, etc. There are also expectations, anticipations, and what not.

For you guys who have gone through this... how do you do it? Is it clear enough that he is actually looking at exploring the possibility of courtship by coming to my place? Also, once you guys meet and everything goes well, how does your friendship stage become an official courtship? Or have any of you met each other, and decided that you were not a good match, how did you go about it? (I guess there's not much you can do if it doesn't work out, but I just want to hear if this case happened to you).

Feel free to share your stories! Any inputs/ideas/comments are welcomed.

Thanks,
Lia

I'm not in exactly the same boat, since my SO and I had no real intention of commencing a serious relationship when we first met in person. It took four or five outings for the mutual agreement to occur. But looking at your situation and what you and this other person, I think the fact that you've both discussed courtship is indication enough that you both are exploring. And the opportunity that you'll both have in a couple of weeks will either confirm that there is a possibility or otherwise. I guess you just have to use the time wisely, and whichever way your feelings go, be honest and open about them and hope that he will do the same, because that will go a long way to dictating whether you can maintain the friendship if it's agreed that courtship isn't the way to go

 

[Lia]

Well, when she came to see me, i met her at the bus, she gave me a biiig hug, and then we went to a coffee shop and just sat and talked for a while. (Then later we went to an event known as Worship Invasion). We aren't formally in a courtship (though some say we might as well be), but I do know that she has met other people that she originally met online, and then just decided to stay friends with them, so it can happen.

Sounds like a fun and sweet first time meeting! I too am planning to take him to my church once he arrives here for the Young Adult Gathering that night. I just hope that we will be able to enjoy each other/our weeked together when he comes to visit.

Him coming by plane all the way to you? Well, unless he's rich and had nothing better to do, yeah, this is a very strong indication that he'd be willing to step it up.

True that

 

[Lia]

I'm not in exactly the same boat, since my SO and I had no real intention of commencing a serious relationship when we first met in person. It took four or five outings for the mutual agreement to occur. But looking at your situation and what you and this other person, I think the fact that you've both discussed courtship is indication enough that you both are exploring. And the opportunity that you'll both have in a couple of weeks will either confirm that there is a possibility or otherwise. I guess you just have to use the time wisely, and whichever way your feelings go, be honest and open about them and hope that he will do the same, because that will go a long way to dictating whether you can maintain the friendship if it's agreed that courtship isn't the way to go

You're right! Thanks for the wisdom. That's one of the reason why I'm a bit nervous about him coming here - if things don't work out for us and we ought to maintain a friendship afterward. Not that it's difficult but there are expectations and anticipations of courtship all this time already. Maybe I'll be a bit dissapointed if courtship isn't the way to go, to be honest. Buuut, I guess I need to keep the options open, guard my heart and be prepared if courtship isn't for us. I think I can use some prayers from this point til I see him in June!

 

[peanutbutter12]

Well, a guy for the most part isn't going to fly across states unless he has further intentions (Mind you, I said for the most part). I think it's safe to say that he's fairly well interested in some further relationship. But some things to keep in mind:

Online personalities will sometimes differ from their offline realities - This is probably one of the biggest problems people run into when they meet someone off the computer. People who aren't truly being who they are while online tend to run into personality clashes or unconfortable situations. No matter how much you think you know someone from talking to them over a computer, it's sometimes like meeting a completely new person.

Being nervous is a good thing - Feeling a bit scared will keep your wits about you. Stating the obvious, keep to public places where there are people, get family and friends involved. Yes, you need to have your alone time to talk, but you can do it in places like coffee shops. Try to avoid getting into situations where it will only be you and him.

Have a good time and know your own intentions, LD relationships are not easy - As I've stated in some other posts, my fiance' lives at the other side of the country from me. The hardest thing for us is being apart because while we can sit on the phone for hours, chat online with webcams and IM, we don't have the option of "Hey, wanna go see a movie?" So know what you are getting into if you two decide to get into a courtship. There will be a lot of times where you will want to make life changing decisions because it will be hard. All I can say to that is to take counsel from family and friends.

Good luck.

CJ