One-sided Adoption Desire

[Athaliamum]

I would like very much to adopt a child rather then have another one of my own my husband however does not. He says that he could never love an adopted child as much as his own daughter if there ever came a time where he had to chose between them eg. life and death situation he would always chose his own. I'm not deverstated at that is how he feels but I would at least like to know it was an option.

I was wondering if there were anyone out there who was orignially not keen on the idea of adoption, particularly males?
What made you change your mind?

 

[clycleader]

Hi,
Yes, I know exactly how you feel!! We have one son who is one year old and I would love to adopt a child. Partially because I have always wanted to do so (even before marriage) and partly becuase I'd love to give a home to a child who has none. My husband feels that maybe he would not love the adopted child as much. Sometimes I wonder the same, but I like to think that it would be the same kind of love. I'd like to be able to explore the possibility though. He's pretty set on having another of our own though.

 

[skipper]

Our situation was a little different we were foster parents before we ever adopted. We adopted our oldest daughter when she was six she was the apple of his eye and he didn't even want to do fostering any longer, let alone adopt another child I was devasted. When we got a call about our youngest two children he said no absoulutly not. I prayed about two days later he came to me and ask if I really wanted more children We discussed the fact that we had planned on three before we found out that I could not carry a child to term. He said that we could at least meet the girls I can't say he fell in love with them at first site like he did our oldest, but it was his discision to go for more visits and he had the final discission on the adoption. It is funny because it is 1 year ago this week that they moved in with us and you wouldn't know that his love for the girls is any different. My suggestion is to pray and if this is what God wants for your family he will make it happen.

 

[greenie]

Hi, I see the viewpoint from a different perspective. How would your biological kids feel? How would the adopted child feel not having the same kind of bond with you that your biological children have?
I was fostered when I was 2 and then later adopted by the same family when I was 6. It was hard for me as a kid, when I'd argue with my brother and sister and they'd say to me "well you're not my real sister anyway" and always having the feeling of being the odd one out, or that I was only living with them because they felt sorry for me.
I know that all situations aren't like mine. But I think if you are going to adopt a child, then everyone in the family needs to be in agreement. My Dad was more keen to adopt me than my Mum was, and I grew up knowing that. Now, as an adult, I've accepted it and have healed from the emotional hurt, as have my brother and sister. If you and your partner are completely convinced that this is right for you then go for it, but I would encourage you to seek out the opinions of your biological children too (if they're old enough to voice it - which is generally when they begin to talk )

 

[rowedking]

I'm just curious how this dicision making is going. Have there been any made yet towards an adoption?
I am in the beginning stages of the home study process. (1/3 of the way there.) Here's a cute story...I too have always wanted to adopt, even before I met my husband. I don't think he ever thought I was totally serious when I first brought it up. But then we started having troubles conceiving and the doctors told me I had endometriosis. Then I was really pushing for it. After all of the surgeries and treatments, I was/am so confused as to which I wanted, to continue TTC or to push harder for an adoption. Well, i started feeling convicted that I was pushing Hubby so much when he was not sold on the idea. So I finally let it go, for probably the first time in my life I let it go and gave it to God. I don't remember how long before this happened but I saw this flier for a loan through our bank with great rates and thought that would be great to use for the adoption, but trying so hard to be obedient i kept quiet. Hubby came to ME and said I think we should get this loan and make an appt with the agency!!!! Imagine my Excitement!!!
Good luck and keep me posted!

 

[homeofmew]

Try talking to your husband about adopting a baby.
I am adopted and my parents love me as their own child and we aren't even of the same race :O