- Aug 26, 2004
- 54
- 2
- 66
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
My name is Rebecca also known as "RC" and Becca, by my friends. Single mother of two teenagers, boy and girl.
Like you, I have had various challenges in my life which have built me into the character that I am today.
I always knew about Jesus, but I never took my spiritual side of life seriously. I went to church every sunday, said prayers once in awhile -mostly when I needed something. I had no idea that I could have a "personal" relationship with Jesus.
We will always have conflicts and turmoil in our lives due to the sin of this world. God is the healer and counselor.
One of my most difficult struggles was my previous marriage, which led to divorce in 1989.
I do not encourage anyone to divorce. There were circumstances of unfaithfulness, drug and alchohol abuse in my marriage that were part of the factors leading to my divorce. I tried to save our marriage using all the wrong "unbiblical" methods.
A daily battleground, the marriage was like riding on a new roller-coaster, never knowing what was going to happen. Our marriage was extremely unstable and we had not truely welcomed God ito be center of our relationship or lives. We knew who God was we just didn't completely surrender ourselves to Him. It was more fun to live the "worldly" ways and follow along with what everyone else was doing. 'As long as it was fun lets do it' attitude. You might know exactly what I am talking about as many of us have been there and done that.
I had this dream in my younger years of being a mom and a wife just like my mom was. There wasn't divorce in my immediate family. My parents were married several years (50+), went through some very difficult times, but managed to stay together through it all.
Well my husband being unfaithful routinely was something I was not prepared or equipped to deal with. I actually never considered that he would go to another woman for any of his needs. He said he loved me and I loved him and so other thoughts of unfaithfulness never entered my mind.
I felt desperately alone and unloved and neglected because of his actions and choices he had made. I felt like I was doing all the giving and he was doing all the taking and I got completely drained. I was eventually isolated from all my family and close friends. There was a void that I could not fill with anything, and I truely felt like life was not worth living at one point during that struggle. Mentally and physically and spiritually I was a total wreck! God tried to speak to me so many times, and warn me of the dangers of the choices I was making. You know we often want to do things our way. Our pride stands in the way of His blessings. I didn't realize that at the time. I had to learn the hard ways.
I thought that I could change my husband if I was good enough, if I just stuck it out, but I didn't realize it wasn't up to me to fix him nor to "save" the marriage, it was up to us asking God for help and we didn't. No wonder things didn't work!
I learned that we can pray for someone to open up their heart to change, pray for our spouse, our children and friends, even pray for our enemies, and yes through Jesus they will change, but be prepared to experience some changes in your own heart as well, because sometimes that is where it all has to start in the first place ...
There is no way I could have come through my experiences like I have and survived without the love and guidance of Jesus. I had always felt like I was a failure and unloveable and could never do things right or perfect enough. I felt like I didn't deserve better in life. I didn't realize that I am God's child. I am His princess. I can be loved for who I am, unconditionaly with a love that surpasses all understanding.
Looking back, I never truely had asked forgiveness for many of my past sins. I just wallowed in them in self-pity. In my mind, God could never forgive me for what I had done in my life or the mistakes I made. Yet who am I to put limits on God, I mean really give me a break! I cannot limit God the Almighty. The creator of Heaven and Earth. How dare I to presume to limit His love for me. That is like saying that His word means nothing, when actually His word is EVERYTHING.
God was always there wanting to give me His best! I just didn't completely open my heart yet to Him and put Him center in my life.
I was listing in my mind all my failures and my husband's failures to me as husband. I had a very long list of all the bad things and a very short list of anything good. I cried in desperation often but this one time it was more seriously with a genuine plee. I had a heart to heart talk with God finally with an open heart, surrendering it ALL to Him. His love then surrounded me and comforted me as I jumped into His Word and praised and worshiped Him. I finally felt His presence for the first time in my life. YAY!
It was almost like saying "where have You been all my life?"
You see He is more than just history in a book - He is the Past, the ever-Present, and the Future. The alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end.
Jesus filled that void I tried to fill long ago with other things,filled my heart completely and made me whole. He took away my sins and forgave me I just needed to ask and believe it. I am now freeeeeeeeeeee!
I am not alone.... I have not been alone.... I will not be alone! Totally AWESOME yes He is.
I recognize that Jesus is with me more now than I can ever explain. I worship Him in song and praise, and talk with Him all day long (a prayer never ceasing). He is my everything. I know now that no matter what obstacles I am faced with I will not be alone, my Heavenly Father is right there beside me, and I choose to listen to Him more closely now. My choices or decisions in life can harm me if God is not in the center, but if I listen to Him and do things according to His word, and if I just wait (Isaiah 40:31) , then I know I will be blessed and can be a blessing to others in the process of my growing.
Am I a Jesus Freak? YUP YUP That's ok with me, I want God to use me for whatever purpose He has destined for me.
No longer is it what can He do for me, nor what can I do for Him , but what He will do through me as His obedient and humbled servant. I shall abide in His love always.
He is so worthy of Praise and Honor and Glory. Thank You Jesus.
Like you, I have had various challenges in my life which have built me into the character that I am today.
I always knew about Jesus, but I never took my spiritual side of life seriously. I went to church every sunday, said prayers once in awhile -mostly when I needed something. I had no idea that I could have a "personal" relationship with Jesus.
We will always have conflicts and turmoil in our lives due to the sin of this world. God is the healer and counselor.
One of my most difficult struggles was my previous marriage, which led to divorce in 1989.
I do not encourage anyone to divorce. There were circumstances of unfaithfulness, drug and alchohol abuse in my marriage that were part of the factors leading to my divorce. I tried to save our marriage using all the wrong "unbiblical" methods.
A daily battleground, the marriage was like riding on a new roller-coaster, never knowing what was going to happen. Our marriage was extremely unstable and we had not truely welcomed God ito be center of our relationship or lives. We knew who God was we just didn't completely surrender ourselves to Him. It was more fun to live the "worldly" ways and follow along with what everyone else was doing. 'As long as it was fun lets do it' attitude. You might know exactly what I am talking about as many of us have been there and done that.
I had this dream in my younger years of being a mom and a wife just like my mom was. There wasn't divorce in my immediate family. My parents were married several years (50+), went through some very difficult times, but managed to stay together through it all.
Well my husband being unfaithful routinely was something I was not prepared or equipped to deal with. I actually never considered that he would go to another woman for any of his needs. He said he loved me and I loved him and so other thoughts of unfaithfulness never entered my mind.
I felt desperately alone and unloved and neglected because of his actions and choices he had made. I felt like I was doing all the giving and he was doing all the taking and I got completely drained. I was eventually isolated from all my family and close friends. There was a void that I could not fill with anything, and I truely felt like life was not worth living at one point during that struggle. Mentally and physically and spiritually I was a total wreck! God tried to speak to me so many times, and warn me of the dangers of the choices I was making. You know we often want to do things our way. Our pride stands in the way of His blessings. I didn't realize that at the time. I had to learn the hard ways.
I thought that I could change my husband if I was good enough, if I just stuck it out, but I didn't realize it wasn't up to me to fix him nor to "save" the marriage, it was up to us asking God for help and we didn't. No wonder things didn't work!
I learned that we can pray for someone to open up their heart to change, pray for our spouse, our children and friends, even pray for our enemies, and yes through Jesus they will change, but be prepared to experience some changes in your own heart as well, because sometimes that is where it all has to start in the first place ...
There is no way I could have come through my experiences like I have and survived without the love and guidance of Jesus. I had always felt like I was a failure and unloveable and could never do things right or perfect enough. I felt like I didn't deserve better in life. I didn't realize that I am God's child. I am His princess. I can be loved for who I am, unconditionaly with a love that surpasses all understanding.
Looking back, I never truely had asked forgiveness for many of my past sins. I just wallowed in them in self-pity. In my mind, God could never forgive me for what I had done in my life or the mistakes I made. Yet who am I to put limits on God, I mean really give me a break! I cannot limit God the Almighty. The creator of Heaven and Earth. How dare I to presume to limit His love for me. That is like saying that His word means nothing, when actually His word is EVERYTHING.
God was always there wanting to give me His best! I just didn't completely open my heart yet to Him and put Him center in my life.
I was listing in my mind all my failures and my husband's failures to me as husband. I had a very long list of all the bad things and a very short list of anything good. I cried in desperation often but this one time it was more seriously with a genuine plee. I had a heart to heart talk with God finally with an open heart, surrendering it ALL to Him. His love then surrounded me and comforted me as I jumped into His Word and praised and worshiped Him. I finally felt His presence for the first time in my life. YAY!
It was almost like saying "where have You been all my life?"
You see He is more than just history in a book - He is the Past, the ever-Present, and the Future. The alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end.
Jesus filled that void I tried to fill long ago with other things,filled my heart completely and made me whole. He took away my sins and forgave me I just needed to ask and believe it. I am now freeeeeeeeeeee!
I am not alone.... I have not been alone.... I will not be alone! Totally AWESOME yes He is.
I recognize that Jesus is with me more now than I can ever explain. I worship Him in song and praise, and talk with Him all day long (a prayer never ceasing). He is my everything. I know now that no matter what obstacles I am faced with I will not be alone, my Heavenly Father is right there beside me, and I choose to listen to Him more closely now. My choices or decisions in life can harm me if God is not in the center, but if I listen to Him and do things according to His word, and if I just wait (Isaiah 40:31) , then I know I will be blessed and can be a blessing to others in the process of my growing.
Am I a Jesus Freak? YUP YUP That's ok with me, I want God to use me for whatever purpose He has destined for me.
No longer is it what can He do for me, nor what can I do for Him , but what He will do through me as His obedient and humbled servant. I shall abide in His love always.
He is so worthy of Praise and Honor and Glory. Thank You Jesus.
