once again the same question...

[cma]

where does alcoholism starts?
I was reading trough this board and I started thinking...
there was always alcohol at my home, but I think I started to drink without my parents control when i was 14..15? At 19 I started to drinking heavy alcohols (mainly vodka). There were some blackout, some things I have done and I regret so much. there were moments were I was drunken everyday for 2 weeks. There was a moment when my stomach gave up and I had problems even with eating. There were moments when I was proving something and not drinking for (as an example) a month. Sometimes at the parties I've changed vodka for something softer to keep my mind.
then I move to now city. Except for one evening (after which i didn't remember everything) for half of year I thought I have everything under control - getting only moderately drunken, sometimes drinking alone. Then I went home, and...well, I once again was that "party girl". I was told I was drinking rectified spirit (with something, but still it is 96% so i understand why i don't remember) and once again I woke up also with moral hangover. And i started thinking about it was again....
All my friends are heavy drinkers. I always thought that problem starts when you have to drink something everyday just to live. When you can't learn or work without.
I think I can stop it. I never had any problems with learning or school because of it.
I just like it. I like to have a drink before sleep. And yup..there is always a beer in my fridge

I read what i wrote and I got a bit scared. I think I know where I heading. just tell me if I already crossed the line?

in the end: I want to apologize. I'm posting here on CF under other name. I just didn't have guts to come here as "me". Pathetic.

 

[UnitynLove]

run from it. "Flee from temptation." Run from it. Avoid all those things that tempt you.

 

[justanobserver]

cma - where does alcoholism start? well, you either are or are not an alcoholic. it starts with that first drink and ends with, well, thats the person's choice of how he/she wants to end up.

I dont know if any one person outside of qualified medical types can tell you if you have already crossed the line but can give you an opinion only - if you feel you cant stop, not comfortable in stopping, already thinking therre may be a problem, already asking if you have a problem, wondering about getting buzzed or drunk tomorrow or trying to remember about yesterday, etc etc etc....

then, its just my opinion only but you have a problem that isnt going to go away or get better but only get worse.

just because you may go a night or two or three without a drink dont mean you dont have a problem. I am a recovering alcoholic but when I drank, there had been a time to two where I may go without for a couple 3 days (being in jail was one reason...) but that didnt mean that i was over it or it went away.

If you have any quesitons or need to talk off line, pelase feel free to PM me or any one of the folks that have been here a while.

I wish you well.

 

[kanga22]

I started smoking pot at age 12 and drinking at age 14. By age 16 I was drinking the Yukon Jack I kept under my bed, every night. Personally I think that when a person starts so young, they are more likely to develop a problem with it later.

Only you can figure out whether or not alcohol has become an unmanageable problem. Here are some questions that come to my mind. They might help you figure it out. The answers, for me, were disturbing enough for me to seek help.

Can you ever, happily, stop at one drink? Do you ever think (obsess) about drinking when you should be doing other things? Do you ever think of how you will get more drinks if enough aren't served at the party or social event you are attending? If for some reason you don't drink for days, weeks, or months do you find yourself really looking forward to the chance to drink again? When you do have a drink after a period of sobriety, does it surprise you that it tastes/feels so good? Do you start making plans to drink more in the near future, because you had forgotten how relaxing it is? Do you ever hide it, or hide how much you are consuming? Do you act irresponsibly because you've had too much to drink? Has drinking ever had a negative effect on your life and your relationships?

I was a high-functioning alcoholic. I graduated high school with good grades and received an academic scholarship for college. Even though I had vodka martinis for breakfast in my dorm room, I graduated college and am considered a responsible employee. Also, I was perfectly fine not drinking while I was pregnant and nursing my children, although I did look forward to the day when I could resume drinking.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. During my last multi-month binge I was calling in sick to work for the first time in my life. I even showed up at work drunk and I was starting to think that was okay to do. I knew I needed help before I lost my house, lost my family, and killed someone else or myself with it. I'm now 39 days sober and in AA.

Blessings,
Kanga

 

[LoG]

Hi Cma,

My .02 cents. According to AA which I agree with, alcoholism is a two-part disease. A mental obsession and a physical allergy. The mental obsession to drink or drug got a hold of me early in life. There was no comparison with what I got from having a few drinks. A sense of ease and comfort that chased away all the confusion, lonliness, fears and insecurities that I was prone to when sober.

The physical allergy came along a little later although I may have had it fairly quick. I never meant to drink so much that I passed out, blacked out, landed in jail, get DUI's, lose relationships, hungover, scraped up, in fights, etc, etc. I just wanted that little bit of relaxation and that in-control feeling that i got when I had a few drinks. Once I would start however, I rarely stopped until the booze was gone or something bad happened.

A person who isn't alcoholic has a few drinks until they start to get a slightly tipsy, out-of-control feeling. Then they stop and have no problem doing so. An alcoholic on the other hand starts to feel in-control when they have a few. The more they drink, the more the illusion that they are in control. After 2 or 3 drinks I still knew I couldn't do some things but after 8-9, I could do anything (so I thought)

You may have seen these before but here is a link to 20 questions to give you an idea if you may have a problem with alcohol. Try to answer them as honestly as you can even if the situation asked about happened only once or twice.

You have a choice today whether you will be a high-bottom drunk or a low-bottom one. From experience I can tell you that the low bottom one can be very painful and quite a few drunks had the bottom fall out altogether and only stopped when they were in the grave. You may think I am being overly dramatic but when you've seen the numbers of drunks I've seen go to their graves as a direct result of their drinking, you'd understand the dramatics.

Pray that you'll consider it carefully, even to the point of checking out a few AA meetings to see if you can relate.

 

[theAuthor]

My 2c is that you are born an alcoholic. Your genes mean that alcohol affects you differently to other people. This relates to the way it is metabolised in the liver. Ever noticed how it runs in families?

My latest reading also says that drinking as a teen also tends to increase the risk greatly.

 

[LazeyWinde]

*hugs CMA*
It sounds like it's become serious enough to consider giving up the drink and maybe getting help. You're still young, but alcoholism can effect anyone no matter their drinking age.

 

[LazeyWinde]

My 2c is that you are born an alcoholic. Your genes mean that alcohol affects you differently to other people. This relates to the way it is metabolised in the liver. Ever noticed how it runs in families?

My latest reading also says that drinking as a teen also tends to increase the risk greatly.

I dunno if born an alcoholic is the right way to put it... Perhaps being born more disposed to becoming an alcoholic. Alcoholism runs in my family so I'm sure genes play a role. I'm not an alcoholic myself but I have a suspiscion that if I ever let myself drink I'd become one (My mental issues, etc are similiar to what I've observed with alcoholics).
Whatever it is it can be overcome.

And I agree... the younger a person starts the greater the problem can become.