- Feb 5, 2002
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I think there is a danger for us in the two famous scriptural pericopes on a good woman, one in Proverbs 31 and the other in Sirach 26. I do not know what a woman thinks when she hears these remarkable texts. I want to consider how a man hears them.
There is much beautiful but also challenging in the description of a good woman, or more specifically a good wife. One challenge is that some of the images could seem to reinforce questionable stereotypes in identifying a wife’s excellence too much with such things as “putting her hands to the distaff” (Prov 31:19) or putting “flesh on [her husband’s] bones.” (Sirach 26:13) [Important here are other lines such as, “She opens her mouth with wisdom,” (Prov 31:26) and “no price is worthy of her temperate soul.” (Sirach 26:15)]
But my interest right now is a distinct if related issue. On hearing these pericopes I think there is a danger a man will feel something like, “Wow, how can I get one of those?”—as though it is simply an issue of finding one. This danger, in my estimation (and if I am wrong in this, then please disregard my rumination or take it as a reflection of my own disorder) can pertain both to unmarried and married men.
In short, I think a key problem is that men fail to focus on our role as providing the conditions for women to become such good wives. It is certainly understandable that a young man on hearing these praises might simply think his task is to go find such a person. And of course, it is indeed fitting when looking to marry that we discern potential spouses in view of such ideals! Yet, again, I think we are prone to expect that women somehow come pre-programmed to be just what we wanted, and we fail to recognize a key truth. Our part in making the marriage, and indeed leading in the marriage, is the natural prompt for the actual appearance of the good woman.
Continued below.
life-craft.org
There is much beautiful but also challenging in the description of a good woman, or more specifically a good wife. One challenge is that some of the images could seem to reinforce questionable stereotypes in identifying a wife’s excellence too much with such things as “putting her hands to the distaff” (Prov 31:19) or putting “flesh on [her husband’s] bones.” (Sirach 26:13) [Important here are other lines such as, “She opens her mouth with wisdom,” (Prov 31:26) and “no price is worthy of her temperate soul.” (Sirach 26:15)]
But my interest right now is a distinct if related issue. On hearing these pericopes I think there is a danger a man will feel something like, “Wow, how can I get one of those?”—as though it is simply an issue of finding one. This danger, in my estimation (and if I am wrong in this, then please disregard my rumination or take it as a reflection of my own disorder) can pertain both to unmarried and married men.
In short, I think a key problem is that men fail to focus on our role as providing the conditions for women to become such good wives. It is certainly understandable that a young man on hearing these praises might simply think his task is to go find such a person. And of course, it is indeed fitting when looking to marry that we discern potential spouses in view of such ideals! Yet, again, I think we are prone to expect that women somehow come pre-programmed to be just what we wanted, and we fail to recognize a key truth. Our part in making the marriage, and indeed leading in the marriage, is the natural prompt for the actual appearance of the good woman.
Continued below.
On Wanting a Good Wife - LifeCraft
I think there is a danger for us in the two famous scriptural pericopes on a good woman, one in Proverbs 31 and the other in Sirach 26. I do not know what a woman thinks when she hears these remarkable texts. I want to consider how a man hears them. There is much beautiful […]
life-craft.org
