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On courtship...

Jan 30, 2010
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Hello, I value the wisdom of wiser and older people than my young 18 year old self. Thats why I am here to seek your opinions on how to best put myself in the situation of meeting a nice young IFB godly man. Most of the young men at church dont even know what courtship is, where do I meet nice young men that understand and value the courtship process? I know that God already knows the person he has for me but, I dont want to miss and opportunity or something if theres somewhere I can go to put myself in the best situation of meeting a truly godly young man. Thanks in advance for the advice brothers and sisters!
 

Man_is_Flawed

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Feb 18, 2010
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What do you mean by "the courtship process"? There is a fine line here between the cultivation of an emotionally rich relationship and the sin of fornication. Beware a man who professes his intentions as pure and acts otherwise; cherish the man who keeps silent and puts your eternal salvation before his own interests.
 
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Man_is_Flawed

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In my personal experience, which I admit may not be exactly the advice you seek, it is best to allow a friendship to grow over time. When a you gain a person's trust, and he gains yours, there will be no secrets between you. This can take years, and it involves much patience and discipline. But once you know a person's personality and soul without the pretense of romance, a true relationship can form. A solid foundation of trust and openness will let you avoid the pitfalls of jealousy and envy, which will doom many relationships.
In my honest opinion, although this may not be my place, you may be a bit young to engage in a relationship of the gravity that you seek. Maturity comes with time. Observation of others will let you see the characteristics you wish to avoid in a soul mate, and this can take years. Give it time; be patient, and let friendships grow so that you may find the person that truly keeps your best interests at heart as much as you do his.
 
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Adoniram

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There are guys like that out there. I have a daughter about your age and a couple of summers ago, my wife and I became aware that she was "interested" in a certain fellow. Several weeks later, she came to me and said that he wanted to talk to me. Well, he came over a few days later, we went out on the porch and he asked me for permission to court her. I was floored...that just doesn't happen these days. He told me a little about himself, saying that he was a relatively new Christian, so he didn't know a lot about it, but I could tell his heart was in the right place. I gave him permission. They dated for several months and then decided to "cool" their relationship, although they remain good friends today. The wife and I still really like him though.

All I can suggest is that, if there is no one in your church that fits the bill, maybe you might search out some college age Bible study groups in your area. Another way might be to develop friendships with other Christian girls, and as you chum with them, you might meet a nice Christian fellow. But like the other responders say, be patient..."wait on the Lord."
 
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