On Being a Christian Who Is Too Far Gone For Salvation.

[cmmarq]

This is an excerpt from a personal blog post that I wrote. I'm posting this here because I am in desperate need for guidance and edification. Please help me find my faith again.

The full article is a little TL;DR but for those who genuinely wish to help or offer some prayers or encouragement it can be found here:

https://daysdescending.wordpress.com/2016/06/01/onbeingachristian/

"I was raised a Christian and all throughout my life that faith has played an important role. I recall simpler times; attending Sunday School, memorizing and reciting Psalm 23, being nervous about being immersed in the baptismal font, how proud I was when my Dad bought me my first Bible, singing along to praise and worship songs with my mom in the car as we’d drive around doing errands and such..."

"...I always wanted to believe. I wanted to go down to the altar and pour out all my fear and sorrow and pain to the foot of the Cross and have Jesus reach down and put his hand on my shoulder and fill me with some glorious Holy Spirit that would bring me that peace which passes all understanding. Sadly, He never did. So I spent the majority of my adolescent years trying to figure out what could’ve possibly separated me from His love and His mercy. Where was He when I needed Him the most? I always heard that verse from Romans 10:13 that says, “Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved”, but where was my salvation? Why was I still dead inside?..."

"...I cannot go full fledged Atheist because there have been too many instances in my life where God has made Himself completely undeniable to me. But if there is a God, I am almost convinced that He wants nothing to do with me. I feel like a truly lost soul. Tonight, I prayed, while crying in the car, that if God forgives me for my many sins and if I’m truly not beyond salvation or beyond repair; then please let Him make Himself known to me. I just want to be a good son for my mom as she fights colon cancer; a good big brother for my brother Conor who is coping with his fathers loss of visitation rights; I want to be a good friend to all of the many people who have stood by my side through so much despite the fact I rarely make time for them to return the favor; I want to be a good neighbor to the strangers that cross my path instead of being selfish and self-absorbed.

I don’t know if it’s too late for me but I hope that maybe there might be some of you who know this same struggle and perhaps you have found the answers I’m still grasping in the dark trying to find. It seems funny that when the whole world is growing more and more hateful towards Christians that I’d be down at the end of my rope trying to find just a mustard seed sized portion of faith to help me make it through this life. It’s do or die time. Maybe death would be better? Not physically, but dying to everything I thought I knew."

 

[Take Heart]

Sometimes.. a song can speak a thousand words of what I initially wanted to express from my heart and find the right words to help you in your struggle..
I hope this will suffice for now, brother : )

 

[1watchman]

There should be no struggle! Most likely the reason you never experienced the saving grace of the Lord Jesus and felt His presence, is because you never received Him in true faith. Trying to follow the teachings of God and the life of Christ is NOT salvation. Have you ever read John 1; John 3; John 14 and asked God to make that clear to your soul? Without the Lord Jesus in your heart you will have no part in God. Why not give up religion and turn to the Savior? I will pray to that end for you, friend.

 

[hopeandgrace]

Hi cmmarq, you are NOT too far gone for salvation.
That is another heretical thought placed in your mind not by yourself, but by the enemy. Here is your weapon against such thoughts:

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. (1 Peter 3:18).

Does it say that Christ died for some sins? Some less heinous sins? Some small sins? Nope, none of those. Christ died for our Sins, regardless of how you feel about the sins.

I think one of the biggest obstacle you place in front of you is the 'feelings' you have about your sin. You aren't god are you? NO YOU ARE NOT. The truth of what Christ did for all of us is BIGGER than your feelings, not the other way around. Feelings come and go, the Truth stays.

Secondly, we are all fallen and imperfect. We all get angry, frustrated, disappointed with others, ourselves and God. I would know because I just threw a tantrum with our Father yesterday But as long as we reconcile and look toward the Perfected Truth and fellowship with Him, we are on the right track. Life here is a process, a tough and painful one, and God is willing and able to work that out with you for His Glory and your salvation. Does that mean that if you say a prayer tonight that you are perfected instantly? Again, no. Because God will lead you to the truth and the freedom that you want in His time. Here's another weapon for you:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.(Ecclesiastes 3:11)

It says - in His time - not yours, not mine, not others, His.

So to conclude, nope you are not too far gone from salvation. YHWH is the Alpha and the Omega, and Yahushua Ha Mashiach came to make salvation possible for the unrighteous, which is pretty much all of us. Start to take your 'feelings' of the pedestal and crown the Truth that YHWH has sent all of us in His great mercies. He loves you and is calling you, NOW. Go forth to receive His gift and persevere to bear fruit for His Glory.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, (Romans 8:1)

 

[Dana Fitzpatrick]

Christ said in three separate gospels "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." God wasn't kidding when He said to love Him with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. Please understand that I am in no way making any assumptions about you, rather I am only giving suggestions as to where you may search for the joy that is promised you. Have you crucified your former life, or do some vestiges remain? As you inventory your daily existence, do you spend time or energy in endeavors that do not improve your relationship with God? What evokes the greatest emotional response within you? Whatever it is, does it also matter to God? The bottom line is that whatever you care about most is what you worship. God will meet you where you are, but remember that He gave all for you. Are you giving all for Him? How much skin do you have in the game? True joy comes with the daily decision to select Christ among the many paths presented to you. As you find yourself being tempted, do you indulge or do you rather rejoice with victory in Him? Just as you cannot serve two masters, you can only have one life. In order to accept His new birth, you must abandon your old one. It isn't doing you any good anyway. I pray God's peace, love, and understanding for you, my brother.

 

[Razare]

I don’t know if it’s too late for me but I hope that maybe there might be some of you who know this same struggle and perhaps you have found the answers I’m still grasping in the dark trying to find. It seems funny that when the whole world is growing more and more hateful towards Christians that I’d be down at the end of my rope trying to find just a mustard seed sized portion of faith to help me make it through this life. It’s do or die time. Maybe death would be better? Not physically, but dying to everything I thought I knew."

I had that sort of struggle as a child, perhaps about 8. I went to a Christian pre-school but my parents are not practicing Christians. They reject the faith with their words and deeds, and so set a bad example for me. They live 100% like the world, but if you pressure them in conversation a great deal, they'll tell you they believe in Christ.

Yet they are ashamed of him. They believe, but are ashamed. It's terrible. This influenced me growing up, and I took hold of their shame and became an atheist. It was logical. My parents said they believed but in their actions they did not believe, so I quickly realized the truth was not Christianity.

Before I rejected the faith as a kid, when I hit the age of accountability, I spoke to God one last time. I told him he had to prove himself to me.

When I did this, it was like darkness. Before in my life, there was light, and then after that it was darkness. I felt God leave me. God did not indwell me as a child and I was not born again, but God was with me as a child, and I would speak to him even... and he would speak back.

I lived in this darkness for several years and did not begin coming out of it until my twenties. For some years, especially in high school, I was a total atheist. Atheism was alluring to me because it contained the vice of cleverness. This sin, where a man would be clever in his own eyes, tempts many into atheism. They call it "logic" and they call it "scientific" and they call it "I believe what is proven."

Yet what is proven? Logic and skepticism got ahold of me far more than the average atheist. Critical thinking, which is where by we question things, I never bothered to constrain. If I can question God, I can easily question the fundamental assumptions of science and materialism.

This led me into, "I know nothing." This is the philosophy of solipsism.

When you know nothing, you no longer are obliged to believe science. Furthermore, in retrospect, I can see, we are neither required to be skeptical. If skepticism bears fruit of "I know nothing" ... why be skeptical? It's just as unfounded an idea as believing something.

In the midst of solipsism, I realized that to know something would be a divine act. All during the years of atheism, my mind searched and searched at how it could be wrong. I slowly became agnostic. I realized if I was to know, it would be an act of God to know truth because men certainly can't attain truth in any way that is definitive. They can delude their minds that they have, but it's just self-deceit and pride.

So rather than demanding God prove himself, I rather believed that in the vacuum of man's ability to know anything, that this meant there was such a thing as truth. If "I know nothing of myself", then certainly I know this is a true statement.

If that is a true statement, then that is true. But how could I know more than that one little nugget?

But you see if truth exists, there is a giver of truth out there somewhere. I believed upon that giver of truth, to give me truth.

I strayed through several false religious beliefs, holding on to the truth I had been given divinely. God used that humility to bless me by giving me seeds which grew, eventually to bear the fruit of salvation.

And when I came to salvation, I came with a boldness that I would die over several times if necessary, because God has been proven to me superior to my senses, superior to my ability to reason, because reason showed me my inability to reason. The senses? They are not reliable under logical deduction. The sciences? Neither are they, for they hold philosophical assumptions as dogmatic doctrines never to be questioned or opposed.

I could have ended up in hell, and I almost did. I once almost committed suicide before I was saved, but I did not. It's dangerous. But the key here is what ultimately set me on the path toward Christ.

I believed first, and then waited for God to manifest. I did not have unbelief first, and then expect God to overcome my unbelief. God answers the former, not the later. The later is sin, and it will not reveal God.

The reason God is not obligated to answer unbelief, is that it is poor training on his part to teach us it. It would be like putting your child back in diapers when you're potty training them. No, you just leave the diapers off, clean up the mess, and keep at training him. If he goes back to diapers, it's all useless.

Me? I had to live in diapers for a decade or so, until I decided I wanted them off myself and pushed forward to find the truth at all costs. There are those God finds, and then there are those who would die to find God.

 

[anx66]

If you are serious about your need for God, then come back to him. Repent of the life you have lived, put your trust in Jesus again and follow him in his strength. Christianity isn't about living under a set of rules, it is about trusting Jesus which in turn produces love for others. There is an element of perseverance, that God will give you, in situations which are difficult, but these situations are all meant to prove your faith genuine and develop more good deeds through the Holy Spirit (The fruit).
I too was in a similar situation, and felt God had rejected me, but I came back to God, repented and am now living a fruitful life through the Holy Spirit's direction.
"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy ladened", this implies an invitation to all. Also, if you're not part of a church, you'll need to start going again, in order that you might get the encouragement you need in your walk with God. It's good to know that you have decided to confide with us about your situation. All the best for the future, I'll be praying for you and hoping that you will make the right, but sometimes difficult decision to follow Jesus.

 

[Serving Zion]

This is an excerpt from a personal blog post that I wrote. I'm posting this here because I am in desperate need for guidance and edification. Please help me find my faith again.

The full article is a little TL;DR but for those who genuinely wish to help or offer some prayers or encouragement it can be found here:

https://daysdescending.wordpress.com/2016/06/01/onbeingachristian/

"I was raised a Christian and all throughout my life that faith has played an important role. I recall simpler times; attending Sunday School, memorizing and reciting Psalm 23, being nervous about being immersed in the baptismal font, how proud I was when my Dad bought me my first Bible, singing along to praise and worship songs with my mom in the car as we’d drive around doing errands and such..."

"...I always wanted to believe. I wanted to go down to the altar and pour out all my fear and sorrow and pain to the foot of the Cross and have Jesus reach down and put his hand on my shoulder and fill me with some glorious Holy Spirit that would bring me that peace which passes all understanding. Sadly, He never did. So I spent the majority of my adolescent years trying to figure out what could’ve possibly separated me from His love and His mercy. Where was He when I needed Him the most? I always heard that verse from Romans 10:13 that says, “Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved”, but where was my salvation? Why was I still dead inside?..."

"...I cannot go full fledged Atheist because there have been too many instances in my life where God has made Himself completely undeniable to me. But if there is a God, I am almost convinced that He wants nothing to do with me. I feel like a truly lost soul. Tonight, I prayed, while crying in the car, that if God forgives me for my many sins and if I’m truly not beyond salvation or beyond repair; then please let Him make Himself known to me. I just want to be a good son for my mom as she fights colon cancer; a good big brother for my brother Conor who is coping with his fathers loss of visitation rights; I want to be a good friend to all of the many people who have stood by my side through so much despite the fact I rarely make time for them to return the favor; I want to be a good neighbor to the strangers that cross my path instead of being selfish and self-absorbed.

I don’t know if it’s too late for me but I hope that maybe there might be some of you who know this same struggle and perhaps you have found the answers I’m still grasping in the dark trying to find. It seems funny that when the whole world is growing more and more hateful towards Christians that I’d be down at the end of my rope trying to find just a mustard seed sized portion of faith to help me make it through this life. It’s do or die time. Maybe death would be better? Not physically, but dying to everything I thought I knew."

Hi there Christopher,

As I was reading your blog, I noticed the love of The Holy Spirit weep for you. As I am consulting the scriptures for His support of my reply, every scripture is telling me that you are precious to Him.

Yet, seeing you are not certain of your salvation, it is because some things must still change. Whether this means changes to your beliefs, lifestyle, knowledge.. it needs to be managed carefully. Keep in mind that God knows all about what we need, though He can only be effective at healing us if we will cooperate with Him to that end. This means that we have responsibilities.

Do you attend any churches frequently? Do you believe that your lifestyle is not of a holy nature? Are you reading the scriptures? Are you partaking the bread and wine? Do you pray and sing to Him often?

 

[Optimax]

This is an excerpt from a personal blog post that I wrote. I'm posting this here because I am in desperate need for guidance and edification. Please help me find my faith again.

The full article is a little TL;DR but for those who genuinely wish to help or offer some prayers or encouragement it can be found here:

https://daysdescending.wordpress.com/2016/06/01/onbeingachristian/

"I was raised a Christian and all throughout my life that faith has played an important role. I recall simpler times; attending Sunday School, memorizing and reciting Psalm 23, being nervous about being immersed in the baptismal font, how proud I was when my Dad bought me my first Bible, singing along to praise and worship songs with my mom in the car as we’d drive around doing errands and such..."

"...I always wanted to believe. I wanted to go down to the altar and pour out all my fear and sorrow and pain to the foot of the Cross and have Jesus reach down and put his hand on my shoulder and fill me with some glorious Holy Spirit that would bring me that peace which passes all understanding. Sadly, He never did. So I spent the majority of my adolescent years trying to figure out what could’ve possibly separated me from His love and His mercy. Where was He when I needed Him the most? I always heard that verse from Romans 10:13 that says, “Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved”, but where was my salvation? Why was I still dead inside?..."

"...I cannot go full fledged Atheist because there have been too many instances in my life where God has made Himself completely undeniable to me. But if there is a God, I am almost convinced that He wants nothing to do with me. I feel like a truly lost soul. Tonight, I prayed, while crying in the car, that if God forgives me for my many sins and if I’m truly not beyond salvation or beyond repair; then please let Him make Himself known to me. I just want to be a good son for my mom as she fights colon cancer; a good big brother for my brother Conor who is coping with his fathers loss of visitation rights; I want to be a good friend to all of the many people who have stood by my side through so much despite the fact I rarely make time for them to return the favor; I want to be a good neighbor to the strangers that cross my path instead of being selfish and self-absorbed.

I don’t know if it’s too late for me but I hope that maybe there might be some of you who know this same struggle and perhaps you have found the answers I’m still grasping in the dark trying to find. It seems funny that when the whole world is growing more and more hateful towards Christians that I’d be down at the end of my rope trying to find just a mustard seed sized portion of faith to help me make it through this life. It’s do or die time. Maybe death would be better? Not physically, but dying to everything I thought I knew."

What "voice" told you that you were separated from God's love and mercy.

It lied to you.

God said that He so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.

Are you in the world. Of course you are.

Therefore you are included in His love.

Rom 8:38-39
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. KJV

Does this scripture lie?

Of course not!

Does it pertain to everybody that has called on the Name of The Lord except you?

No you are a part of the "us" that none of the listed things are able to separate from the love of God.

There is something though that can make it seem like you are separated and all alone.

Thoughts that are received as yours.

Every heard anyone say this.

You cannot keep birds from flying over your head.

But, you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.

The "birds" are thoughts that come into your head put there by the devil's bunch.

You cannot keep those thoughts from coming.

But you can keep them from becoming what you think.

Do what this scripture instructs us to do.

Bring those thoughts that lie to you like that into "captivity" and kick them out of your head.

While your at it toss out the imaginations and reasonings that accompany those thoughts.

Pull down those strongholds.

2 Cor 10:4-5
4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; KJV

 

[Gregory Thompson]

The way we connect to God and him to us is through trust, commonly known as faith.
.
before i came to God, there was a long time in which i was not at a church or faith community, i just lived day to day trusting God and seeing him work in the little things of life.
.
as i did come to a faith community, i went for quite some time and then came to a place of deep disillusionment . but I remembered that beginning . and could trust him from that place where it seemed so dark and so alone like that space was connected to nothing.
.
If you have not had an experience with knowing God apart from the bible or through the context of a community. I would recommend to meditate about how Abraham or Noah or the other people did it without a book: Trust.
.
The experience and the religion can go hand in hand, but having that deep relationship beyond all that connects us .. that is important too.
.
I'll pray. I hope you find what your heart is looking for.