Old Boyfriend

[tryme]

I am really torn up lately.
I thought I had heard the last from this guy 8 or 9 months ago.
It was a weird breakup, if you could even call it that.

I was always so supportive of things he was going thru.
One day he just got on my last nerve and I told him off about something.
Then because he felt hurt (I guess) he said some pretty mean things.
And that was the end - no communication after that.

A few weeks back now he called.
He wanted me to know something "because I thought you would care".
I said thank you and was short on a few more of his comments.
He got the vibe and finished the phone call.

The problem is when I fall in love it is forever.
It is obvious to me even just friendship at this point is not possible.
I don't like being rude but I also don't want to lead him on.
Although I care deeply a "relationship" just does not work.

Not sure what I am looking for.
Just needed to let it out.
It has been bothering me since his call.

 

[MMXII]

Does he love you as well? Can this be worked out? It seems so sad that your love for him will last forever if this won't work out.

 

[tryme]

Does he love you as well?
Can this be worked out?
It seems so sad that your love for him will last forever if this won't work out.

I believe he does still love me.
We have been thru a lot together.

He needs to work on some things about himself.
I thought I made it clear in the past about want I want/need.

Him calling out of the blue just threw me for a loop.
I have been much healthier without him in a prominent role in my life.

 

[MMXII]

Is he working on himself? (boy I ask a lot of questions) Is he a Christian and if so, can you both seek some counseling together?

It seems a shame when you both may have the same feelings for each other to just let this go.

I have been much healthier without him in a prominent role in my life.

If he is bad for you emotionally, maybe it is best that it was over.

*edited to add*
And feel free to tell me to butt out at any time.

 

[tryme]

I'm not sure if he is working on himself.
He has claimed to be a Christian but I am not positive about that anymore.

I had suggested (before breakup) doing the same Bible reading program so we could share.
He never responded to my request. That was very telling to me.

 

[MMXII]

I'll pray that the Lord's will be done in this. Losing love is one of the most heartbreaking things we can survive. If he is the one God has intended for you, He will work it all out. It may not be on "our" time but in His time. The one thing that I work on for me every chance I can is patience. Not my will by God's and not my time but God's. I'm so impatient and think I can work it all out on my own and usually end up failing miserably. I need to learn to wait on the Lord.

 

[tryme]

I'll pray that the Lord's will be done in this. Losing love is one of the most heartbreaking things we can survive. If he is the one God has intended for you, He will work it all out. It may not be on "our" time but in His time. The one thing that I work on for me every chance I can is patience. Not my will by God's and not my time but God's. I'm so impatient and think I can work it all out on my own and usually end up failing miserably. I need to learn to wait on the Lord.

That is why I was willing to give up the relationship.
Let go and let God.

 

[MMXII]

That is why I was willing to give up the relationship.
Let go and let God.

That's very healthy and for me hard to do.

 

[Mela'h]

Been there mags and I feel for you sister It's hard when there are still strong feelings there. And him just phoning out of the blue didn't give you a chance to prepare and process everything before hand. Keep the faith sister! If God wants him to be in your life, he'll make it known to you. Praying for discernment for you.You gotta do what is the most healthiest for you, both spiritually and emotionally.

 

[tryme]

Been there mags and I feel for you sister It's hard when there are still strong feelings there. And him just phoning out of the blue didn't give you a chance to prepare and process everything before hand. Keep the faith sister! If God wants him to be in your life, he'll make it known to you. Praying for discernment for you.You gotta do what is the most healthiest for you, both spiritually and emotionally.

Thank you all for your prayers.
And you nailed it on the head (highlighted section).
I was SO astonished when I heard his voice on the other end of the phone.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

I believe he does still love me.
We have been thru a lot together.

He needs to work on some things about himself.
I thought I made it clear in the past about want I want/need.

Him calling out of the blue just threw me for a loop.
I have been much healthier without him in a prominent role in my life.

you have answered your own question magnify. "I have been much healthier without him in a prominent role in my life," pretty much says it all. I know, as a single, sometimes its hard to be alone. I've often times thought about reverting back to something/someone because it seems comfortable and easier . . .but then I think about how far I've come on my own and wouldn't trade that for the world. I think of Jesus as my husband now, because He is, so in that regard I am never alone and know I never have to settle.

Besides, Jesus is a VERY tough act to follow :0)

 

[tryme]

I do not want to take him back as he is now.
But I also know it would be tough if he just showed up on my doorstep.

Being the caring, female type, I do not like being rude.
In my head I think I would not let him in but who knows.

I'm reminded of that movie, Hard Promises, with Sissy Spacek.
She knew how her ex made her feel (get all wobbly in the knees)
so she tried to avoid contact with him.