ok so christmas is over & now need to make some decisions :(

[young@heart]

Hi everyone,

I have posted on here before so hopefully some of you know a little of my story.
I have been married for 2.5 yrs & am really struggling.

My husband doesnt seem to want to be married (although he says he does)

He has been verbally & physically aggressive towards me, he has said many nasty things & i feel he tries to control me.

He has lied to me about various things & was caught texting a woman from work

He denies anything happened but i am unsure whether i believe him

I moved out for a month in Oct because i just didnt know what to do, he works non stop, disregards me, wants a invididual life, doesnt treat me nicely etc

Now i know i am not perfect, i have never said that but i also have areas i need to improve on, i lose my temper quite easily etc

However when i moved back in November it was to try & make things work, things changed for a while, we spent a little more time together etc but slowly i am seeing him less & less he's working all weekends mostly & i am still not allowed to touch is phone etc etc

I just dont know what to do now, i gave christmas as a deadline & this life i am living i know God would want me to enjoy more.

Hubby refuses to leave until i file for divorce what can i do? the house is in my name as i brought it before we were married but if i leave i worry i will loose everything

Please i need advice, do i have biblical grounds for divorce? will i be commiting myself at 25 to a life of singleness & no children

 

[dorig59]

I don't feel I can give advice as to whether you should leave or not, that's for you to decide, although it sounds quite grim to me.

You've been married such a short time. Has he been like this from the very beginning?

If you do decide to end the marriage, though, don't leave your house. Have him served with papers, and he will have to leave.

 

[young@heart]

why would he have to leave? he is refusing to leave until we are divorced and i dont think i can legally remove him

It has been like this since we were married, he's always been busy and money focused & used to go out all the time never telling me where he was etc, i hoped it would improve

 

[dayhiker]

Go talk to a divorce lawyer. The 1st hour is free .. at least around here. Find out how you keep your home and deal with getting him out of the house legally.

Sounds like on of your main issues is communication. He says he wants to be married but then isn't around. He isn't around and doesn't want you involved with anyone for days (no phone). He can't have it both ways. Its not healthy to live that way.

 

[2020lady]

hi everyone,

I've changed my login because i forgot the p.word & hubby has been in my inbox so better safe than sorry!

Well we've spoken with our pastors he still seees me as a big problem and that he doesnt need to change.

The relationship has just completely broken down & i think i have now excepted that things arent going to change & i need to break free.

I'm seeing a solicitor on Friday.

 

[2020lady]

hi all

went to the solicitors friday & had a weekend thinking throught & trying to make decisions! something i hate

I am going to go forward with legal seperation, it means hubby will have to leave & we agree to eveything, means if divorce does happen it will be more straight forward.

Hubby is not happy aparently i have made friends & am walking with the devil & am sooo far away from God i cant even see it.

He's now said today he is going & has found somewhere so now i am just waiting.

I am hoping to hear from the solicitor Monday.

Hubby is still pushing me to file for divorce but i wont, i have told him i am here if he wants to work at it/ go to counselling but that we cant do it living together. He refuses, time & God will tell.

 

[2020lady]

hi everyone i thought id' update you on my situation, its been a tough year so far!

Well hubby left (i asked him to) in March and since then life has been different.
I've learnt to relax, enjoy my own space & lots of people have commented how happy i seem, i think because i am out of the stressful situation

We are currently both doing the freedom in christ course, this is really good.

We hardly talk and things are abit awkward. there have been a few times when we have talked about making things work but i still see not enough movement on his side regarding sharing things, secrets etc

Well this last week has been quite tough, i had contact with someone who tells me a women they know says she's been having an affair with hubby since before we were married i dont know what to belive.
Also when trying to find out more & speaking to a old mutal friend it turns out hubby wasnt very faithful when we were dating either
thing is i dont know what to believe, if i confront hubby he will just lie but its driving me crazy

dont understnad what i have done to deserve this and why another woman would want a man who she knows is married or in a relationship?!

Plus hubby & i are both commited christians so i dont understand how he can act normal but be doing all this behind my back? also that times when he was on a night shift he wasnt

surely if you love someone they wouldnt do this???

i want to know the truth or know in my heart what is true so that i can divorce with a clear conscience. i have been asking God to reveal things to me, could this be it? or could this woman who told me be stiring things?