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Maybe you really don't. Maybe it's the old game us men know very well, the play by numbers. We deal with rejection because either "She's just not that into you" or "She really is that into you". And you just happened to hit the rejection. Almost every guy will tell you that you have to get 10 no's for every 1 yes.
I am not so sure. I have been friendly to guys before and that may have been misconstrued as flirting. Infact there was one guy I knew was having a very rough time, so I gave him advice and continually checked up on him to see if he was okay, and he ended up wanting more than friendship with me when I was not interested that way. I only saw him as a friend.
Take some time getting to know this girl before you ask her out.
She likes you, because this statement is a lie.she thanked me for opening up on facebook like that because she felt she was the only one in the world who dealt with that.
Being friend zoned is fine if all you want is to be friends. If you want more than that... not so much.I can't say for sure but personally I think she's just being friendly. I'm obviously no expert but I've talked to girls before who were both friendly and outgoing but that doesn't mean they were interested. You may just have to take your best shot and let the chips fall where they may.
One thing I don't understand is why guys are so afraid of being "friend zoned". Maybe it's because I've been in that position all my life but I don't really see what's so bad about it. Some of my best friends are girls and I'm thankful for their friendship; they're not interested in me or see me as dating material and I'm fine with that. I'm much rather have a good friend than turn them away if they don't like me. Even if things don't work out with this girl just be glad to have someone to talk to and someone who takes the time to check up on you. A friend is better than nothing.
thanks guysall of your words I'm finding very helpful
well I agree with you on the most part. The problem is I always do what you describe and always end up blowing it..... I'm obviously doing something wrongI'm just not sure what it is
however I when I do go slow I get freind-zoned like you said.... man I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong..... how come girls are so hard to figure out?
You've known her 3 weeks and you are wanting to get romantic with her already???? To what end?
...
Other than wanting to date her after 3 weeks of knowing her!
You've known her 3 weeks and you are wanting to get romantic with her already???? To what end?
Dude, it's not like he's saying, "I will ask her right now to be my girlfriend." Asking somebody out is basically saying, "I think you are cool and would like to get to know you a little better so I can tell if we would like to take this further and eventually consider marriage." I know it sounds a bit heady at the end there, but you're just at the "like to get to know you a little better" stage. You don't need to know somebody for longer than three weeks to be beyond "like to get to know you a little better".
Isn't that what dating is about? Isn't dating a 'romantic' thing that folks do when you want to find out if this person is the one? What is wrong with keeping it at a friendship level and getting to know her better? Then you can make up your mind about whether you want to have a romantic relationship with her or not.
By the way, I ain't a dude. I know, these days dude refers to anyone, but just for the record, I don't like being called that.
To TanteBelle: Hey, man, there are several steps between "going out on a date" and "dating". Part of the problem with your advice is that a lot of women have a sort of defense mechanism which is, in the larger scheme of things, typically a good idea: if a guy doesn't indicate romantic interest fairly soon into the relationship, they presume he is not interested and let their interest go elsewhere because otherwise they may develop a tragic secret crush on a guy who just strings them along. The first few weeks of seeing somebody is, or at least should be, little more than getting to know her better as a friend except with the caveat that you're expressing enough romantic interest to let her know that you're not just some jerk who's enjoying her attentions without any investment on your own part.
Frankly you come accros as a bit like a typical message bord poster... a little geeky... and she's prob just being nice!
look this might work for you.... but do you really think you have the right to judge my character just because I do things differently!?
I ask for dates early to get things out in the open first so I can avoid confusion! There are plenty of girls who I'm freinds with who I do not like.... but the ones I do I get out of the way first so if they say "no" than the friendship isn't clouded by questions. Dating is a way to get to know someone better...
^for lack of better words
"guy likes girl"
"girl likes guy"
"girl isn't allowed to ask guy out at all"
"guy isn't allowed to ask girl out until they have been friends for AT LEAST 50 years first"
"don't even think about even feeling romantic interest anytime before the 50 year period, you sinner"
what kind of foolishness is this??
Ok I'm pro going to regret this!
I'll venter from SinicBoom's other posts that the answer is "no"... she doesn't fancy you.
Frankly you come accros as a bit like a typical message bord poster... a little geeky... and she's prob just being nice!
Dude, I don't want to be mean but...
1) Choose the non-negtables in a future girlfreind.. you have some dumb ones but if you don't want her to have been raised in a christian home them stick out for that!
2) Don't be apologetic for who you are... if you are a little ADD or a bit strange or in a sub-culture that the "cool kids" think is strange then stick to your gus; be who yu are
3) If you are in anything close to a mega church (which I think you are) freeking ask them out... wrse they can say is n and if there are 1k+ members chances are it won't affect your rep!
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