Hello to everyone,
I apologize if this gets to be long but usually once I start to write something I have difficulty stopping. I injured my back at work two months ago and have had some very unsuccessful treatments thus far. First, working with worker's compensation is difficult in itself because you are essentially dealing with physician's that are paid by the company to get you back to work as soon as possible. They are quick to offer temporary fixes to get you back and quick to prescribe medication and medication. The other day I was so heavily medicated that with everything I did I found I was having problems. Trying to type an e-mail I wound up simply staring at the computer screen and unable to process my thoughts. When I tried to go to sleep I started to convulse or shake and it made me get up because that is not a good feeling at all. So on top of these medications I was not getting any sleep. I think the last two weeks I went periods of days without sleeping and over a weeks time ended up with 7-10 hours of sleep.
It made me mad to be honest. That is not me at all. I have always been the type of person to not take medication unless it was absolutely necessary and being consciously aware of how medicated I was was frightening. So I stopped the medication- that could have been the worst thing I did. I had to go back on it because the withdrawal was so bad but eventually I got myself off of what they had given me before. I am still in a good deal of pain and went and had another spinal procedure on Tuesday. I expressed my discomfort in pain and my difficulty sleeping and I was once again prescribed another medication. This time, amitriptyline- an anti-depressant. I picked it up this afternoon but have not taken any yet. This particular medicine is supposed to help with the nerves to hide the pain. I don't want the pain hidden- I want it gone. As I reviewed the side effects they were very, very similar to the medications I had been taking before. I hope to never experience that groggy-medicated feeling again.
Now to the hard part. Unfortunately, because I am stubborn and think I can do things on my own I have had periods in my life where I went to God and went back to God and every time I do I feel amazing but somehow always seem to stray away. I feel so inadequate when I do this which makes me feel like I stray even further. I want it to be different this time so badly. When I listen to Christian music or praise and worship music I feel so calm and relaxed and tend to think about good things. I need God all the time, not just when I am in pain or suffering. I always wonder if I am the only one that has experienced this. I know I need accountability, to stay in the Word and to constantly be in prayer. I have 1/2 of a college degree- lol- and have been thinking lately that I need to get my life back on track and go to a bible college. I know that I need to allow God to correct me first before I can help anyone.
As you can see, I think a lot.
. Which is not always a good thing but at least lately it has been positive.
Prayer is a good thing and I wish pray for:
1) My job is being difficult with my worker's comp. I ask for prayer that God's will be done and if I should agree to a settlement or try to go back to work that whichever it is that it becomes clear.
2) I am 29 years old and have a condition in my back that is probably not going to get better -at least that is what I'm told-
If I can return the favor please PM or let me know and if not, I'll say a general prayer for you all.
If you have gotten this far- thank you. I appreciate it.
I apologize if this gets to be long but usually once I start to write something I have difficulty stopping. I injured my back at work two months ago and have had some very unsuccessful treatments thus far. First, working with worker's compensation is difficult in itself because you are essentially dealing with physician's that are paid by the company to get you back to work as soon as possible. They are quick to offer temporary fixes to get you back and quick to prescribe medication and medication. The other day I was so heavily medicated that with everything I did I found I was having problems. Trying to type an e-mail I wound up simply staring at the computer screen and unable to process my thoughts. When I tried to go to sleep I started to convulse or shake and it made me get up because that is not a good feeling at all. So on top of these medications I was not getting any sleep. I think the last two weeks I went periods of days without sleeping and over a weeks time ended up with 7-10 hours of sleep.
It made me mad to be honest. That is not me at all. I have always been the type of person to not take medication unless it was absolutely necessary and being consciously aware of how medicated I was was frightening. So I stopped the medication- that could have been the worst thing I did. I had to go back on it because the withdrawal was so bad but eventually I got myself off of what they had given me before. I am still in a good deal of pain and went and had another spinal procedure on Tuesday. I expressed my discomfort in pain and my difficulty sleeping and I was once again prescribed another medication. This time, amitriptyline- an anti-depressant. I picked it up this afternoon but have not taken any yet. This particular medicine is supposed to help with the nerves to hide the pain. I don't want the pain hidden- I want it gone. As I reviewed the side effects they were very, very similar to the medications I had been taking before. I hope to never experience that groggy-medicated feeling again.
Now to the hard part. Unfortunately, because I am stubborn and think I can do things on my own I have had periods in my life where I went to God and went back to God and every time I do I feel amazing but somehow always seem to stray away. I feel so inadequate when I do this which makes me feel like I stray even further. I want it to be different this time so badly. When I listen to Christian music or praise and worship music I feel so calm and relaxed and tend to think about good things. I need God all the time, not just when I am in pain or suffering. I always wonder if I am the only one that has experienced this. I know I need accountability, to stay in the Word and to constantly be in prayer. I have 1/2 of a college degree- lol- and have been thinking lately that I need to get my life back on track and go to a bible college. I know that I need to allow God to correct me first before I can help anyone.
As you can see, I think a lot.
. Which is not always a good thing but at least lately it has been positive.Prayer is a good thing and I wish pray for:
1) My job is being difficult with my worker's comp. I ask for prayer that God's will be done and if I should agree to a settlement or try to go back to work that whichever it is that it becomes clear.
2) I am 29 years old and have a condition in my back that is probably not going to get better -at least that is what I'm told-
If I can return the favor please PM or let me know and if not, I'll say a general prayer for you all.
If you have gotten this far- thank you. I appreciate it.
