Guys, my exgirlfriend just called me. This is a big deal because we had a really angry breakup. She wants us to be friends, or at least stop hating each other. This is a problem because I still need her. I might be able to get her back, but if I can't, it's going to be unproductive and extremely ugly. What should I do here? Help me out guys.
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Oh man!!
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Luther073082
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Not unless there was a really good chance of repairing your relationship I think I would forgive her and be nice to her but just tell her you can't be friends with her because it would be too emotionally hard on you.
If you don't get her back, you are in for a lot of pain. It would be easier on you emotionally to just let her go and time away from her should slowly heal the pain.
If you don't get her back, you are in for a lot of pain. It would be easier on you emotionally to just let her go and time away from her should slowly heal the pain.
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If you hate her, you should forgive her and try to stop hating her. As for being friends, that's not really possible if you really think about it. You can't treat her like a sister and Christ and be there for her without ulterior motives if you have strong feelings for her. Everything you do is going to be a reflection of how to win her back and everything she does you are going to analyze and think if it's a sign or something. You won't really be putting her best interests ahead of yourself. I've been down this road before, save yourself the time and pain. Maybe when you are truly over her then you can try again.
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NiobiumTragedy
Glorious Tragedy
This needs a Nihilist type answer: Quit your whining and man up.
Realistically, it depends if you think it's worth the trouble or not. Obviously you shouldn't hate her, but that also doesn't mean you need to be friends or even speak to each other. Grudges are never a good thing to have and hold on to. They eat at you.
Realistically, it depends if you think it's worth the trouble or not. Obviously you shouldn't hate her, but that also doesn't mean you need to be friends or even speak to each other. Grudges are never a good thing to have and hold on to. They eat at you.
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Oh, I disagree. Nothing gets a man over a woman like being really mad and getting some action on the side. Besides, she used to call me about every three weeks, and we'd have a fight, and the wounds would all open up again. The only way I've gotten her to leave me alone is to be so mean to her that she cries. To be clear, I know how messed up that is, but it made me drink a lot less.This needs a Nihilist type answer: Quit your whining and man up.
Realistically, it depends if you think it's worth the trouble or not. Obviously you shouldn't hate her, but that also doesn't mean you need to be friends or even speak to each other. Grudges are never a good thing to have and hold on to. They eat at you.
We're getting a drink tomorrow. I'll let y'all know. Thanks for the help, guys.
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This kinda makes no sense. It's like you know what you're getting yourself into with the whole wounds opening up and stuff and having a fight. You know that the answer is to not have contact with her and that it helped you drink less (although being mean with her to stop talking to her was probably not the best idea, you could just not pick up her calls). And then, it's we're getting a drink tomorrow. Sounds like you're setting yourself up.
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suzybeezy
Reports Manager
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Some relationships are just toxic and not meant to be (been there done that) - even though there was strong loving feelings at one point. Its like you have to allow yourself to grieve the relationship and continuing to see each other will keep you both from moving on and finding the right person.
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
Been there, done that a few times. They are usually an ex for a good reason. I did a lot of dating in the last 5+ years and stayed in some that should've ended a long time before they eventually did. All I can say is that my current relationship has been so very different from all other relationships. No red flags and no drama between us. After not so great relationships that we have both been involved in, we both recognized the qualities and compatibilities in each other that we have been hoping for in a lifetime partner. We moved from friendship to dating to engagement in a totally sane, but unbelievable way. We truly were just friends at the beginning and got to know each other before we became romantic.
I can't even count the times in past relationships where I was going crazy wondering what I should do, what the other person was thinking, etc. I have never had any that baloney with this relationship.
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