OCD and doubt

[psalm_139]

One of the most discouraging and annoying things that I have been experiencing lately with OCD is dealing with doubt. I feel like the belief I have in God is rock solid in my heart, but then I obsess in my mind. I keep on thinking "what if it's not real? what if scientists are right and evolution does explain life?" etc. One of the most annoying things I experience is hearing some intelligent somebody saying that belief in God is ridiculous, or seeing some sort of ad on the internet saying there's proof that God doesn't exist, and then I think "well, there has to be a reason why these people think this, maybe it's valid" and my mind CAN'T et it go. I hate this struggle with doubt and OCD, and I don't know how to combat it. Whenever somebody has something negative or has any criticism about belief in God my mind goes crazy. help! I get so so anxious becuase I get scared of losing my faith, but then I know in my heart I believe, so there's a great conflict. I don't know what to do....

 

[pjspara]

i have sat exacly whrer you are..... go get the book or book on audio called a case for christ by lee strobel.... he was an athiest for yearss set out to prove it was all a fake....he has another one called a case for faith..... there is another one called more than a carpenter by josh mcdowell who was also an athiest,,,, these guys didnt want their to be a GOD, so you can imagine the research that went into it...... it helped me more than i can tell you.... i got them all at mardels....... please do this .. it will help you

pj

 

[kaykay9.0]

I think this is an indication of OCD, not that people who don't stuggle with OCD never doubt. But I think you know what I mean. OCD tends to pick up on anything that isn't 100% certainty. Just remember that for all the so-called "intelligentsia" who speak against faith, there are also very intelligent, educated believers (check out Ravi Zachariah, for example) as well. Yes, the books by Lee Stoebel are good. Another book I would recommend is by Dr. Greg Boyd entitled Letters From a Skeptic. Ultimately, though, remember, the OCD is likely really where the issue is. I've been there with this. (That's how I know about Dr. Boyd's book and others.) At the end of the day, if you let OCD run wild, you will likely settle one doubt only to have another occur. At some point, I finally just had to say, "NO, I'm not chasing that rabbit!"

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

One of the most discouraging and annoying things that I have been experiencing lately with OCD is dealing with doubt. I feel like the belief I have in God is rock solid in my heart, but then I obsess in my mind. I keep on thinking "what if it's not real? what if scientists are right and evolution does explain life?" etc. One of the most annoying things I experience is hearing some intelligent somebody saying that belief in God is ridiculous, or seeing some sort of ad on the internet saying there's proof that God doesn't exist, and then I think "well, there has to be a reason why these people think this, maybe it's valid" and my mind CAN'T et it go. I hate this struggle with doubt and OCD, and I don't know how to combat it. Whenever somebody has something negative or has any criticism about belief in God my mind goes crazy. help! I get so so anxious becuase I get scared of losing my faith, but then I know in my heart I believe, so there's a great conflict. I don't know what to do....

I TOTALLY know how you feel. This describes me exactly. I do agree the doubt is the worst part. Right when I started obsessing about this stuff, there was a book that was released by Dawkins about basically disproving God's existence. I freaked out; I couldn't bring myself to read it, but whenever stuff like that happened, I felt like it was just "proof" that my doubts real or true. It has been a hard road. I think I posted recently about listening to my pastor do the children's sermon, and he was talking about not being able to see God with our eyes, but still believing. Of course my OCD snatched up this opportunity and started with the "what if's," like "If I can see everything else with my eyes, how come I can't see God? Does that mean he doesn't exist?" I hate that stuff. Because while faith is believing in something we can't see, even if we are uncertain.... OCD REALLY requires us to have some certainty in this area!!

I flipped out about losing my faith when this happened. It felt like someone had reached inside my brain and taken away all certainty of believing and knowing that God exists. I still continue to worship, pray, serve and act Christ-like (most of the time) despite having these doubts. I think that is something worth noting, you know?

 

[psalm_139]

GAH I can't believe this. I press 'backspace' to delete something, and the browser directs me to the last page I was at. I had this whole thing written, too! Well, here I go again.
Thank you guys so much for what you've said. Its really encouraging! I've read some of Lee Strobel's stuff, and found it really compelling. I've read The Case For a Creator, and The Case for Faith, and I bought The Case for the Real Jesus, but haven't read it yet. I appreciated what was sai in those books, but then I saw criticism of Lee Strobel's work on the internet (didn't look into it, just saw it was there) and OF COURSE there goes my brain thinking "well if there is some criticism here, then there must be a reason, and if there's a reason, then maybe it's valid.." Man that's discouraging. It's like I don't have a mind of my own. I side with Strobel, and then I see something else and think "well what if..."
But I do appreciate your comment, kaykay9.0 about ot letting the OCD run away with itself. I have learned in other areas that when I don't make the thought so important, and tell myself that I know what I really think and what's the truth, then the thought loses it's power. The anxiety isn't as bad, and so the obsessing stops cause there's nothing to feed it. So I'm glad to have that little reminder.
Has anyone reas Dawkins' book? The one you were reffering to, Sad, was "The God Delusion", right? I would like to know if anyone has read it, because I know when one looks into things, one cn see what it's really about and see just how harmless it may be. I know there was a book countering his, called "the Dawkins Delusion", although I forget who wrote it. Anyway, I will look more into the books I can find to help bolster my faith. OI know that ultimately faith is a choice, but it seems way too hard to just choose. But I know I often forget that there is tons of evidence for God and for the credibility of the Bible, including archealogical evidence. I just tend to look at the "what ifs" and the objections to it. Thanks also for the reminder of many intelligent people who do believe solidly in God.
Any other ideas??

 

[keryakos]

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said that the God who lets us prove his existence would be an idol ...Think about that ...If we can prove his existence then we have apprehended God ...and God would not be God if that were possible ..

Someone who helped me a great when i was struggling with doubts about God's existence was Karl Barth ..I would suggest you go to google check out Karl Barths writing s and do a search through the books ...you mind find help there .

 

[hisbloodformysins]

One of the most discouraging and annoying things that I have been experiencing lately with OCD is dealing with doubt. I feel like the belief I have in God is rock solid in my heart, but then I obsess in my mind. I keep on thinking "what if it's not real? what if scientists are right and evolution does explain life?" etc. One of the most annoying things I experience is hearing some intelligent somebody saying that belief in God is ridiculous, or seeing some sort of ad on the internet saying there's proof that God doesn't exist, and then I think "well, there has to be a reason why these people think this, maybe it's valid" and my mind CAN'T et it go. I hate this struggle with doubt and OCD, and I don't know how to combat it. Whenever somebody has something negative or has any criticism about belief in God my mind goes crazy. help! I get so so anxious becuase I get scared of losing my faith, but then I know in my heart I believe, so there's a great conflict. I don't know what to do....

Well, you have to be willing to leave the confirmation of your faith in God's hands, ask him to make it clear to you and then know that if God does exist he is able and willing to make it clear to you... then every time you begin to worry about it say a word of affirmation such as "God, if you do exist I trust you will show me without a shadow of a doubt"..

sounds like the enemy is just messing with your head. If God didn't make himself real to us or give us our faith, it wouldn't be possible to believe. Remember, he is the author and finisher of our faith, and it's impossible to draw near to God unless he draws us.

HB

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

GAH I can't believe this. I press 'backspace' to delete something, and the browser directs me to the last page I was at. I had this whole thing written, too! Well, here I go again.
Thank you guys so much for what you've said. Its really encouraging! I've read some of Lee Strobel's stuff, and found it really compelling. I've read The Case For a Creator, and The Case for Faith, and I bought The Case for the Real Jesus, but haven't read it yet. I appreciated what was sai in those books, but then I saw criticism of Lee Strobel's work on the internet (didn't look into it, just saw it was there) and OF COURSE there goes my brain thinking "well if there is some criticism here, then there must be a reason, and if there's a reason, then maybe it's valid.." Man that's discouraging. It's like I don't have a mind of my own. I side with Strobel, and then I see something else and think "well what if..."
But I do appreciate your comment, kaykay9.0 about ot letting the OCD run away with itself. I have learned in other areas that when I don't make the thought so important, and tell myself that I know what I really think and what's the truth, then the thought loses it's power. The anxiety isn't as bad, and so the obsessing stops cause there's nothing to feed it. So I'm glad to have that little reminder.
Has anyone reas Dawkins' book? The one you were reffering to, Sad, was "The God Delusion", right? I would like to know if anyone has read it, because I know when one looks into things, one cn see what it's really about and see just how harmless it may be. I know there was a book countering his, called "the Dawkins Delusion", although I forget who wrote it. Anyway, I will look more into the books I can find to help bolster my faith. OI know that ultimately faith is a choice, but it seems way too hard to just choose. But I know I often forget that there is tons of evidence for God and for the credibility of the Bible, including archealogical evidence. I just tend to look at the "what ifs" and the objections to it. Thanks also for the reminder of many intelligent people who do believe solidly in God.
Any other ideas??

I know what you mean, about being reassured from things like Stroebel's work, but then reading criticism about it and beginning to doubt all over again. The funny thing is, before OCD, I could read stuff like that and the criticisms would just confirm how strongly I felt I believed and knew deep down that God existed. Now it just stirs the pot of doubt and fear.

I always think it's great to read more from respected Christian authors in order to learn more and grow in our relationship with Christ, but in this case I wonder if it would do more harm than good... because with OCD, no amount of reassurance is going to solve the problem once and for all with us. I often think "If Jesus would just come back and show himself to me, then I would get rid of all doubt!" but then I laugh because I'd probably start doubting that it was really Jesus in the first place. There will never be enough "proof" for us, because we just feed the OCD trying to gain certainty. I think a good thing to do is just to try and live in the uncertainty, which is actually quite a good exercise in faith building in addition to battling OCD.... not testing God by asking him to prove his existence to us.

 

[gracealone]

Very good and very discerning post KayKay! There is a need to be aware when the doubt is driven by the imbalance in brain chemisty as in OCD or a real question that can be satisfied by a real answer. OCD questions are never satiated. The more we try to gain reassurance about them the worst we feel.
Mitzi

I think this is an indication of OCD, not that people who don't stuggle with OCD never doubt. But I think you know what I mean. OCD tends to pick up on anything that isn't 100% certainty. Just remember that for all the so-called "intelligentsia" who speak against faith, there are also very intelligent, educated believers (check out Ravi Zachariah, for example) as well. Yes, the books by Lee Stoebel are good. Another book I would recommend is by Dr. Greg Boyd entitled Letters From a Skeptic. Ultimately, though, remember, the OCD is likely really where the issue is. I've been there with this. (That's how I know about Dr. Boyd's book and others.) At the end of the day, if you let OCD run wild, you will likely settle one doubt only to have another occur. At some point, I finally just had to say, "NO, I'm not chasing that rabbit!"

 

[seajoy]

I know what you mean, about being reassured from things like Stroebel's work, but then reading criticism about it and beginning to doubt all over again. The funny thing is, before OCD, I could read stuff like that and the criticisms would just confirm how strongly I felt I believed and knew deep down that God existed. Now it just stirs the pot of doubt and fear.

I always think it's great to read more from respected Christian authors in order to learn more and grow in our relationship with Christ, but in this case I wonder if it would do more harm than good... because with OCD, no amount of reassurance is going to solve the problem once and for all with us. I often think "If Jesus would just come back and show himself to me, then I would get rid of all doubt!" but then I laugh because I'd probably start doubting that it was really Jesus in the first place. There will never be enough "proof" for us, because we just feed the OCD trying to gain certainty. I think a good thing to do is just to try and live in the uncertainty, which is actually quite a good exercise in faith building in addition to battling OCD.... not testing God by asking him to prove his existence to us.

Beautiful post! One of the best I've seen.

 

[psalm_139]

I know what you mean, about being reassured from things like Stroebel's work, but then reading criticism about it and beginning to doubt all over again. The funny thing is, before OCD, I could read stuff like that and the criticisms would just confirm how strongly I felt I believed and knew deep down that God existed. Now it just stirs the pot of doubt and fear.

I always think it's great to read more from respected Christian authors in order to learn more and grow in our relationship with Christ, but in this case I wonder if it would do more harm than good... because with OCD, no amount of reassurance is going to solve the problem once and for all with us. I often think "If Jesus would just come back and show himself to me, then I would get rid of all doubt!" but then I laugh because I'd probably start doubting that it was really Jesus in the first place. There will never be enough "proof" for us, because we just feed the OCD trying to gain certainty. I think a good thing to do is just to try and live in the uncertainty, which is actually quite a good exercise in faith building in addition to battling OCD.... not testing God by asking him to prove his existence to us.

I so agree! that makes SOO much sense. Everything you said resonates. it's interesting, now that I'm NOT looking into things and trying to get more info, I feel more peace and less doubt. So typical OCD.