OCD and Church

[Subaru17]

Hi,

Been really struggling lately. The vow/blasphemy OCD has tightened its grip on me once again.

I was raised in a faith that teaches they are the one true way to heaven.

Been really depressed and struggling lately with many different things, been asking God multiple times a day for signs if this church is the only way.

And struggling with the fact that I told God I would be a missionary for that church if he forgave me for being the antichrist and forgave me for my blasphemy...when I was 15 (ish)

Sometimes I believe I get signs idk.

I went to a different church today, a small one. (I was raised to believe all other churches are false or at least less right)

And to my surprise it felt like God was there. At least it seemed like they were genuine. I felt happy.

But I wondered "are all these people here that are singing and listening and praying going to hell?"

I left and for the first time in months I dared to hope I would get better, and that I wasn't lost. I even went on a walk in town and had lunch at a little place with my GF

But then the doubt returns. I feel like I'm just unwilling to do what I said I would and I'm just pretending that this faith I was raised in isn't the only true way. I'm deceiving myself because of
My unwillingness and I will go to hell if I don't teach this faiths beliefs

Advice, thoughts, prayers anything is appreciated

Thanks

Trying to keep it together

 

[Serving Zion]

Hi,

Been really struggling lately. The vow/blasphemy OCD has tightened its grip on me once again.

I was raised in a faith that teaches they are the one true way to heaven.

Been really depressed and struggling lately with many different things, been asking God multiple times a day for signs if this church is the only way.

And struggling with the fact that I told God I would be a missionary for that church if he forgave me for being the antichrist and forgave me for my blasphemy...when I was 15 (ish)

Sometimes I believe I get signs idk.

I went to a different church today, a small one. (I was raised to believe all other churches are false or at least less right)

And to my surprise it felt like God was there. At least it seemed like they were genuine. I felt happy.

But I wondered "are all these people here that are singing and listening and praying going to hell?"

I left and for the first time in months I dared to hope I would get better, and that I wasn't lost. I even went on a walk in town and had lunch at a little place with my GF

But then the doubt returns. I feel like I'm just unwilling to do what I said I would and I'm just pretending that this faith I was raised in isn't the only true way. I'm deceiving myself because of
My unwillingness and I will go to hell if I don't teach this faiths beliefs

Advice, thoughts, prayers anything is appreciated

Thanks

Trying to keep it together

Hi brother. Please do not forget that Christianity is a Universal Body of Believers, and where congregations have split, is either they have sought to keep peace where repentance was impossible, or they have just chosen to divide to keep the congregations a manageable size. So, amongst (tentatively) all congregations, you should be able to find those who are dedicated to God alongside those who take Christianity as a sort of brand/identity and occupation. So pray to find out where He would lead you to serve (Matthew 23:8-12).

Seeing as you mentioned antichrist, I would like to share with you some very interesting findings that I wrote about in January: Why do Christians disagree? Part 2 - particularly noting that "The expression "antichrist" (BibleGateway - : antichrist), does not refer to one single, distinctive person in the context of an end-times apocalyptic war. Rather, it is used to describe a spiritual entity in the singular, and when used in the plural sense, it describes the ones who are deceived by it. "

.. Also, please take a look through this gospel booklet that I have produced, just to make sure that you've not accidentally missed some crucial foundation in your knowledge (because everyone has a different background). It has been designed to make sure the basics of Christianity are known by someone who is coming into covenant with God, without getting into the specific doctrinal issues that divide us.

 

[Winken]

Confess Jesus as Savior. You will then never have to be afraid or doubt. If the OCD continues, choose a reputable MD for treatment. Think about continuing in that small church.

 

[Lily76_]

please get medical help with this medication can help as well as praying and maybe even therapy i know it sounds scary but it will help you with makes things easier for you

you are in my prayers