Not sure I can make it

[tripletiger1200]

I'm not sure I can keep on going through this.
When things were this bad in the past God gave me comfort and encouragement. That isn't happening. The obsessions haven't changed in months, and I don't think they're OCD anymore. I don't even know if my stuff ever was OCD or if I'm just that crappy of a person. Is a relationship with God conditional on you holding on to him? Because I can't do it anymore. I'm so tired. I am stuck and I don't think help is coming. I don't have any faith that I can muster up anymore.
I don't really know why I made this thread. Oh well

 

[CrossPilgrim]

Whoa whoa.

Slow down. What obsessions are we talking about? Please don't give up. Are you willing to be a little more detailed?

 

[OCD=Owie]

Yeah, a little bit of explanation would help. Just from the way you're talking it sounds like you're having a bit of a relapse. Hang in there buddy!

 

[Jesusisgood]

I'm not sure I can keep on going through this.
When things were this bad in the past God gave me comfort and encouragement. That isn't happening. The obsessions haven't changed in months, and I don't think they're OCD anymore. I don't even know if my stuff ever was OCD or if I'm just that crappy of a person. Is a relationship with God conditional on you holding on to him? Because I can't do it anymore. I'm so tired. I am stuck and I don't think help is coming. I don't have any faith that I can muster up anymore.
I don't really know why I made this thread. Oh well

i will pray for you tonight. Im going through the same thing or at least form what you wrote but its going to be ok. please dont give up on the lord He loves you

 

[raven1]

tripletiger I will pray for you. pm me if u want

 

[LovesTheLord4Life]

Tripletiger,

Brother, I urge you to keep the faith. But remember this, although you may feel that you have no faith, remember that it is Jesus who is the author and perfector of your faith, and He is sustaining you. If a relationship with God were contingent on us holding on to Him, none of us would make it even through a day. I know it's brutal, I am going through the same thing so know that you are not alone and take heart in the fact that your brother and sisters around the world are battling what you are. You are loved my friend. Keep fighting.

Yours in Christ,
LTL4L

 

[tripletiger1200]

Sorry, I am doing better now. Thanks for praying.
I struggle with intrusive thoughts that curse or insult God, and obsessions that maybe I was never saved in the first place. I can't shake them, and I also obsess that because I doubt my salvation then it must mean I doubt Jesus which would mean that I do not have saving faith. It's just been going and going. It didn't help that I got in a minor car accident Monday and am now trying to figure out why that happened.
I have not taken my SSRI for a few weeks, I may have to start back.

 

[CrossPilgrim]

Hey there.

Tripletiger, I know what you mean. I've also had those thoughts run through my head, and sometimes they are even combined with feelings, making them all the more frightening. But they are unwanted thoughts. In fact, Martin Luther had the same thoughts, if that's any comfort.

Also, about one month after entering into "OCD-induced" depression, I got into a car accident and lost my job (which happened to be deliveries using my car). Still, God is faithful and has carried me through this, actually providing for me financially despite my lack of proper income.

As for doubting your salvation, that can actually be a good thing. God's word actually tells us to test ourselves to see if we are indeed in the faith (2 Cor 13:5) or if we are lukewarm like the Laodiceans in Revelation. Here's a link you can follow if you wish with 11 signs of a genuine Christian. Now before you read it, remember that it isn't "do these and be genuine" it's "if you are genuine, then these will follow." Also realize that Jesus said Himself, that the fruit of the Spirit takes time, and that the evidence of growth is evidence of salvation. Finally, if like myself, you allowed thorns into your life, then your growth may have been stagnated; but like myself, God can still use you if you would allow Him to have His way in you. I would pray that God would allow you to read and discern clearly and that His Holy Spirit would guide you as you read.

so4j.com/is-it-real-11-biblical-tests-of-genuine-salvation-john-macarthur.php

As for the SSRI's, that's up to you. I personally have never taken them and God has made a way. It seems you've made it for a couple weeks without. Please don't let this drive you back into dependence on meds if you were off them. Run to God instead. I've been through and sometimes still struggle with what you are going through, but I know that God can and will provide for those who truly seek Him out. Believe in Jesus as you once did, and fall into your Heavenly Father's outstretched arms.