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@boxman144 If you don't mind me asking, how much time do you spend reading the Bible during the week?
When it comes to these guys on youtube, who you watch, did you find them yourself, or did someone recommend them to you? I noted in another thread, that you are new to faith in Jesus. You have a life time to grow in Christ. Jesus wants you to live your life in love, not fear. We all have sin and junk in our lives, even long after we start our walk with Jesus. We'll never be perfect in this life, but God gives us a chance to prepare ourself for the next life.
I recommend finding some established Bible teachers to follow. I can recommend two, who have helped me over the years. Maybe others can help suggest as well. I would recommend looking up Chuck Swindoll and Adrian Rogers.
Lastly, God gives us grace through faith in Jesus. Grace is God's unconditional, unlimited, and undeserving love, for all of us.
Yet further, there is another reason why you should take comfort; it is very probable you do already feel your guilt, and what you are asking for you already have in measure realized. It often happens that a man has the grace which he seeks for, and does not know he has it, because he makes a mistake as to what he should feel when he has the blessing. He has already got the boon which he asks God to give him. Let me just put it in another shape. If you are sorry because you cannot be sorry enough on account of sin, why you are already sorry. If you grieve because you cannot grieve enough, why you do grieve already. If it is a cause of repentance to you that your heart is very hard and that you cannot repent, why you do repent. My dear hearer, let me assure you for your comfort, that when you go down on your knees and say "Lord, I groan before thee, because I cannot groan; I cannot feel; Lord help me to feel;" why, you do feel, and you have got the repentance that you are asking for. At least you have got the first degree of it; you have got the mustard seed of repentance in tiny grain. Let it alone, it will grow; foster it with prayer and it will become a tree. The very grace which you are asking of God is speaking in your very prayer. It is repentance which asks God that I may repent more. It is a broken heart which asks God to break it. That is not a hard heart which says, "Lord I have a hard heart; soften my heart." It is a soft heart already. That is not a dead soul which says, "Lord I am dead, quicken me." Why, you are quickened. That man is not dumb who says, "Lord I am dumb; make me speak." Why, he speaks already; and that man who says, "Lord I cannot feel," why, he feels already. He is a sensible sinner already. So that you are just the man that Christ calls to him. This experience of yours, which you think is just the opposite of what it ought to be, is just what it should be. Oh, be comforted in this respect. But sit not down in it; be comforted enough to make you run to Jesus now,—just as you are. I take thee, sinner, to be just the man the minister is always seeking after. When we say that Christ came that there might be drink given to the thirsty, you are just the man we mean—you are thirsty. "No," you say, "I don't feel that I am thirsty, I only wish I did." Why, that wish to feel thirsty is your thirst. You are exactly the man; you are far nearer the character than if you said "I do thirst, I have the qualification;" then, I should be afraid you had not got it." But, because you think you have it not, it is all the clearer proof that you have this qualification, if indeed there be any qualification. When I say, "Come unto Christ all ye that labour and are heavy laden;" and you say, "Oh, I don't feel heavy laden enough," why, you are the very man the text means. And when I say, "Whosoever will, let him come," and you say, "I wish I were more willing, I will to be willing, "why you are the man. It is only one of Satan's quibbles—a bit of hell's infernal logic to drive you from Christ. Be a match for Satan now, this once and say "Thou lying fiend, thou tellest me I do not feel my need of a Saviour enough. I know I feel my need; and, inasmuch as I long to feel it I do feel it. Christ bids me come to him, and I will come—now, this morning. I will trust my soul, just as it is, in the hands of him whose body hung upon the tree. Sink or swim, here I am resting on him, and clinging to him as the rock of my salvation."
Take then, these words of comfort.
I think I have severe anxiety
I spent 0 hours reading the Bible this week. I have been praying a lot, though. I was looking at verses occasionally.
I found them myself. I regret finding them so much.
I thought God's grace was conditional? Well, at least when it comes to me anyways. I've found safety in my sins, like finding comfort being wrapped up by an anaconda, knowing it's going to eat me.
I've probably been given over to a reprobate mind. I don't feel conviction as often as I did. I'm probably beyond saving anyways.
Boxman, I’m in the same boat your are at the moment. I see the signs and stuff people post on Facebook. They’re all so excited, and here I am mortified.
I mean this with all the love in the world:
STOP WATCHING THIS GUY'S VIDEOS!
Block the webpage. Block his Facebook. Do not let yourself see anything he makes because he does nothing but send you into an anxiety spiral. He doesn't make you feel convicted--just condemned! And that's not how it's supposed to be! Godly conviction doesn't always feel good, but it shouldn't make you feel miserable. If this man's content is making you feel farther from God, cut it out. Don't expose yourself to it.
As for not feeling ready for the second coming, I understand. I feel the same way a lot of the time, though it's not something I'm proud of and I wish I could feel differently. So...pray about it. Be honest with God and ask Him to give you peace and to know that Jesus' return will be a good thing. We're young and we have a lot to learn. We don't understand everything yet. It's going to be okay.
As for the repentance thing, I actually read something really encouraging from Charles Spurgeon last night. It's a long quote, but it's very comforting:
I hope this helps, even if a little. In fact, I'd say reading a little bit of Spurgeon (in addition to the Bible, of course) would be infinitely more helpful than listening to this warningthepeople guy. Spurgeon doesn't negate difficult truths, but he always encourages looking to Christ and embracing God's love. And he seemed to understand, if not in the terms we use today, things like depression and anxiety.
I've sinned so much these past few weeks I think I'm beyond forgiveness and repentance.
I am not ready to be thrown into the Lake of Fire. I'm not. I don't want to burn. I'm not ready at all I'm not I'm not ready
I'm not ready to die yet. I haven't done that much yet. I want to live, I haven't experienced life to the fullest yet. I'm still not happy. I think I'm bipolar. I'm not ready to die.
I've sinned so much these past few weeks I think I'm beyond forgiveness and repentance.
I am not ready to be thrown into the Lake of Fire. I'm not. I don't want to burn. I'm not ready at all I'm not I'm not ready
I'm not ready to die yet. I haven't done that much yet. I want to live, I haven't experienced life to the fullest yet. I'm still not happy. I think I'm bipolar. I'm not ready to die.
You have to be sincere when you repent, though, and actually try to stop sinning. But remember, no ones perfect!
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