not quite there yet

[Gods4me]

Hello


I’m Lynn I’m normally to be found on other peoples posts giving them encouragement cause I have believe I’m on the mend from depression.

Background knowledge about me. I’m a young single mum I got depression badly just when I found out I was pregnant and have been struggling since. I was on anti d's but they made me feel terrible I felt sick and I could not remember anything. I went on a course which was great and it really helped me and I came of the anti d's in may/June. I am coping with out them and I have no where near as many suicide thoughts only once in a blue moon now but I don’t plan it like I used to. I don’t get daily panic attach any more or palpitations. Life seams good. I have the odd panic attack or the do I wish every thing would end but that nothing to major it just what I’ve always been like.
I’ve started college and was doing an hnc and a higher I've had to drop the hnc because if funding reasons. So I’m in college 3 afternoons a week and James (my baby boy goes to a child minder) which he enjoys and I enjoy college its win/ win.

Problem is when I’m not at college and I have James alone. I am capable to look after him but I can’t do it alone. When I come home from college I go to my mums. Its not that I find my house lonely because if James is with his gran or his dad who he sees twice in the week for full days. I can spend those days alone in my house it just when I’m alone with James I can’t handle it.

I donno how to fix it. Like my mum and dad don’t mind that I bring James up here there always glad to see him. it just I don’t want to wake up in 20 years time and think that I’ve missed everything cause he's always with some one else.

help please.
lynn

 

[Amin]

Hello


I’m Lynn I’m normally to be found on other peoples posts giving them encouragement cause I have believe I’m on the mend from depression.

Background knowledge about me. I’m a young single mum I got depression badly just when I found out I was pregnant and have been struggling since. I was on anti d's but they made me feel terrible I felt sick and I could not remember anything. I went on a course which was great and it really helped me and I came of the anti d's in may/June. I am coping with out them and I have no where near as many suicide thoughts only once in a blue moon now but I don’t plan it like I used to. I don’t get daily panic attach any more or palpitations. Life seams good. I have the odd panic attack or the do I wish every thing would end but that nothing to major it just what I’ve always been like.
I’ve started college and was doing an hnc and a higher I've had to drop the hnc because if funding reasons. So I’m in college 3 afternoons a week and James (my baby boy goes to a child minder) which he enjoys and I enjoy college its win/ win.

Problem is when I’m not at college and I have James alone. I am capable to look after him but I can’t do it alone. When I come home from college I go to my mums. Its not that I find my house lonely because if James is with his gran or his dad who he sees twice in the week for full days. I can spend those days alone in my house it just when I’m alone with James I can’t handle it.

I donno how to fix it. Like my mum and dad don’t mind that I bring James up here there always glad to see him. it just I don’t want to wake up in 20 years time and think that I’ve missed everything cause he's always with some one else.

help please.
lynn

Hi, How are ya?
I think in time you'll be able to spend more time with him. Could be you have a lot to do and it gets a little stressful. Children area wonderful gift. Watch some things he does that will make you smile. Kids have a way of knowing who their parents are. I'm sure in time things will turn around and you'll be spending more time with him. There are a lot of things that happen in a childs growing years. Im sure you'll be there for them, and you won't miss as much as you think you will.
Being young you might think you can't handle a child. Give youself a chance. You'll find out you can do okay.
Chuck.

 

[burn97]

Hello my friend!

When I hit rock bottom, Andrew was around one, and Corban was about five. I had anxiety attacks daily, sometimes many times a day, and the depression was definately the worse ever. I too, couldn't handle being alone with the kids. It wasn't that I didn't like being around them, because I did, but I had so much going on in my head, especially with the panic attacks, that I didn't think it was best for them to be alone with me, what if something happened? what if I had a panic attack while I was alone with them? ect.. ect... ect...
But, the more time I spent alone with them, the easier it got eventually, because I realized that nothing was going to happen, I was capable of taking care of them, I was able to do things with them, and it took a little over a year to be at peace with it.
Sometimes, they can really be a handful of course, but I don't fear it anymore. And the best thing about kids, is they rebound quick. Andrew was little, but Corban wasn't, he remembers that time in my life. But it hasn't changed his love for me. The other day, I took them both to the park for a couple hours and played with them, that's not so big to some people, but to me, that was huge. Anyone who goes through anxiety or depression understands.
Continue to love James, give to him as much as you can, and he'll see that, and love you for it. And eventually, it'll get easier and you'll give him more.
's
Jennifer
​

 

[Amin]

Hello


I’m Lynn I’m normally to be found on other peoples posts giving them encouragement cause I have believe I’m on the mend from depression.

Background knowledge about me. I’m a young single mum I got depression badly just when I found out I was pregnant and have been struggling since. I was on anti d's but they made me feel terrible I felt sick and I could not remember anything. I went on a course which was great and it really helped me and I came of the anti d's in may/June. I am coping with out them and I have no where near as many suicide thoughts only once in a blue moon now but I don’t plan it like I used to. I don’t get daily panic attach any more or palpitations. Life seams good. I have the odd panic attack or the do I wish every thing would end but that nothing to major it just what I’ve always been like.
I’ve started college and was doing an hnc and a higher I've had to drop the hnc because if funding reasons. So I’m in college 3 afternoons a week and James (my baby boy goes to a child minder) which he enjoys and I enjoy college its win/ win.

Problem is when I’m not at college and I have James alone. I am capable to look after him but I can’t do it alone. When I come home from college I go to my mums. Its not that I find my house lonely because if James is with his gran or his dad who he sees twice in the week for full days. I can spend those days alone in my house it just when I’m alone with James I can’t handle it.

I donno how to fix it. Like my mum and dad don’t mind that I bring James up here there always glad to see him. it just I don’t want to wake up in 20 years time and think that I’ve missed everything cause he's always with some one else.

help please.
lynn

Hi,
I replied to your post the other day and was wondering how you were feeling, if things may look a little brighter for you or not.
Chuck.

 

[.chrys.]

((((Lynn))))

It's not easy being a young mother! I am pleased to read that you are taking time for yourself though (going to school). You must be good to yourself--to love yourself--and in doing so, you are loving your son!

Sounds weird to say it, but it is true. The best way to take care of James is to take care of Lynn. He needs a mother who is healthy.

Which would be worse: "waking up" twenty years later from your depression and thinking you've missed out on your boy's life, or never waking up out of your depression (having missed all of his life and all of your own)?

Taking care of yourself and working through your depression is of utmost importance right now. Remember that always! It's okay for someone else to be involved in your son's life right now. It's the healthy choice to make--and the right one. Don't tear yourself up over it.

You're doing the right thing.

Blessings,
~Witness

 

[Gods4me]

hello
im know im ok with depression i walk about singign myy god athem ( be bold be strong) ( i cange the you's to me and i)
see i know i can look after im its just i need that support. of my mum being there just incase. i donno what of cause more accidents happen to him up here than at mine (prob cause we are here most but any way)
see what ConstantWitness vbmenu_register("postmenu_28842738", true); has said i made me giggle enve thought it wasnt ment to. what you said bout me being healthy. christmas last year i couldnt look at james i wanted to die and i relly hated hima and i ened up in hospital for 3/4 days cause i had pnemonia. and i just thought look at me then and look at me now. i am getting better i know there is going to be hard days but its gonna be alright in the end.

chuck thanks for checking up on me that sweet. and makes me smile

and jennifer. thanks for sharing u know i love you. lol

(hug)
love lynn