I am an Atheist, both my parents are Atheists as well.
I was raised free from all religion, in a "do what thou wilt"-sense.
In fact, my parents often slanted people for being religious calling them "stupid" or "ignorant", I stand for freedom in belief and I'm convinced that there is no God, and there never was.
My question is, if there actually is a God, will my not believing in him, despite leading a good life where I have never done any harm to anyone, send me to Hell?
Here's the thing, despite what is commonly said, God chose to offer us salvation through sacrificing himself on the cross...he didn't have to choose that method, he chould merely have decided to save everyone. God is infinitely powerful, he can do whatever he wants. We don't know, and cannot comprehend why he chose this method. We don't know why he created all of creation. We don't know why he willed a system where some of his creations, whom he loves more than anything, would be damned.
But here's the thing too: I don't really want to know.
I used to be an athest myself, and you know what? I drifted from libertarianism, leftism, conservatism, liberalism, pacifism, "me"ism, contrarianism...all sort of philosophies designed to discover what is right by some principle of the universe that all is reducible to.
And you know what? I realized two things:
1. Any ideology I came to I accepted on faith, no matter how much I rationalized things, it always boiled down to "because". I concluded any belief system was a religion.
2. I was angry, boastful, egoist. I said horrible things to people who I didn't believe were living life according to my standards. I was frustrated when I couldn't make my ideologies be both perfectly conistent and practical....and I was always angry, and always depressed.
I was, in short, my own God. I had opened Pandora's Box, I had eaten of the apple. God said not to, God said ignorance is bliss, God said don't even go there, but I went there. I saw darkness and miserery and despair and nonsense. The more I looked, the worse it got.
Instead, I chose to have a child-like trust in the faith that built our civilization, and even just a few decades ago, when we were immeasurably poorer, but sitll believers, we had just a small fraction of the crime, illiteracy, unwanted children, abortions (yes, unwanted children and abortions have both gone up), general social dissaray that we have now. We are living in the shadow of a Christian world, and I"m not sure I like what I see of the post-Christian world ahead. I thought this all as an atheist, mind you.
Some Christians have very specific beliefs about how God chooses the saved amd the damned...I am sure they are honest Christians trying to love God, but frankly I find that the wrong approach. I know that this all makes sense to God, and that he loves me, and that he loves you just as much. My job and yours is to try to listen to him when he calls you and try to get closer to him.
God is not bound by sacraments. God is not bound by your saying "Lord, Lord", by your praying, or by your neurons firing in such a way to give you the though "I give my heart to Jesus". God is bound by nothing, and none of us know where you're going. That doesn't mean that Jesus isn't "the way, the truth, and the life", and that we don't believe that we are saved through unmerited grace, through faith in Christ alone, it just means that...God is far more than we can comprehend, and he wants us to have a child-like trust in him.
There is no argument that proves or disproves God. Of that I am convinced. I don't think you'll be convinced by reading the gospels or praying...you sound like someone who's looked, and who has searched. I pray and hope though, that you will.
Instead I will give you the argument that swayed me:
Seeing as we can't prove or disprove God, would it be better for you if you believed, or if you didn't believe.
Try "deciding" to believe. Go, pick a church--may I suggest Catholic or Orthodox--and just, admire the liturgy. Realize that the course of Civilization has been wedded to this belief system. Realize that Secular Humanism arose out of thinkers that thought of themselves and their philosophy as inseparable from Christendom. Have coffee and donuts, hit on some girls, join the choir. Think of it as a social function and an expression of traditionin a world where the crime is rising, schools are failing, and life seems more and more bleak.
Just when you do so, do me a favor and don't close your heart to God.
Anyway, no, none of us know where you're going, we're not God. Come by a Catholic parish, I promise we won't bible-thump you and call you a sinner.
