Firstly be encouraged that you did the right thing in coming here and admitting your need.
God bought you here cause He knows how you feel and wants to help you. Though in your heart you feel He is far away, in fact He never moved one step from you.
The porn my love, isn't helping. Grieving the Holy Spirit in this way would give arise to not feeling God's presence.That's normal as the Holy Spirit is making you feel uncomfortable with it. But as I said God hasn't moved away, & once you repent of this stuff you'll notice peace again and can move on.
The enemy can be very subtle and knows our weak spots. This temptation, and that is all it is, is common to all of us, but God always promises to provide a way out. You will overcome this, repentance is the key.
I pray that God gives you the grace and strength to throw out any books, magazines you may have that contain this stuff and set a "block" on your Computer if you've been using this sort of thing on the web.
That He will give you self-discipline & you wont feel discouraged anymore.
Detemine in your heart to turn yourself fully over to Jesus.And know He will complete the work he has begun in your heart.
Be encouraged dear one, we all go through times of testing. Jesus hasn't left you, in fact He is just waiting with arms open wide to restore you and bring you into the fullness of blessing He has for you.
Be patient, submit to God and as you regularly fellowship with Him again, all this will be another lesson learned and you'll be stronger as a result.
It's not an easy lesson to allow God to lead us on from trusting our feelings to walking by faith. It is a sign that you're growing and have left the "babies" nest and God is wanting you to try out your "spiritual wings".
To fly as a young bird would do and then instead of feeling the presence of it's parent birds in the nest, as it has now grown, it trusts the wind to carry it. But parent birds are always there watching over it.
In the same way, I feel God is wanting to teach you the same, so even if you aren't in the nest you know He's there, as indeed He is. Then you're joining the great men and women of God who've gone on before, having a close walk of Faith, having moved on from feelings & the security of the nest and just trusting God at His Word.
So fret no more dear one, God is answering your prayers, this is the way to move on and grow. The enemy really was just being , how he is, to distract you with this porn and cause you to be discouraged and hopefully give up - cause he knew you were getting stronger and didn't like it! Grrrr, he's a loser and you're a winner. Give up the porn and take back the blessings he tried to rob you of. Jesus will restore every one.
Isn't that just great!
Praying that now you'll know the joy of your salvation restored . Go for it brother! You're a winner and the d*vils lost! so repent of the porn stuff, "fly in faith" from the "nest" & praise Jesus cause He loves you!
All is well,
Much peace & my prayers
Gentle-Heart
