Non Christian spouse

[snoopy2]

Are there any other Christian wives or husbands out there who struggle, not only with their unbelieving partner but also with their own walk with the Lord. Without wanting to sound condemning, it's so easy for those in Christian marriages to quote scriptures, which I totally accept to be the absolute word of God, but it's as if the salvation of our spouses is wholly dependent upon us. I have to admit that I am by no means the perfect wife. I am not alway submissive, gentle, loving and so on. I have been married to my husband for 21 years and been a Christian for 19 of them. When I first became a Christian I was very vocal about it, but as the years have gone I find that even though my faith is stronger than ever, my husband is no closer to the Lord.

I think I just want Christians who are married to believers to realise that living with someone day in and day out who does not have the same faith as you is very difficult and very wearing. That doesn't mean to say that I love my husband any less than anyone else loves their Christian spouse. He is essentially a good and decent man, but he is of the world, with worldly views and tendencies. It is too easy for those is Christian marriages to assume that if a marriage such as mine ends, then it is somehow ok. No, it isn't. It would be no less painful for me than anyone else to be separated or divorced. I think I just want Christians to have some understanding of the constant struggle that wives and husbands in our position have to deal with, without often being judgemental and simplisitic.

 

[HeatherJay]

I think I just want Christians who are married to believers to realise that living with someone day in and day out who does not have the same faith as you is very difficult and very wearing. That doesn't mean to say that I love my husband any less than anyone else loves their Christian spouse. He is essentially a good and decent man, but he is of the world, with worldly views and tendencies. It is too easy for those is Christian marriages to assume that if a marriage such as mine ends, then it is somehow ok. No, it isn't. It would be no less painful for me than anyone else to be separated or divorced.

I don't think that at all. I'm sorry if you've met other Christians who've made you feel this way. Without having stood in your shoes, no one can make a judgement about you or your situation. All you can do is to continue in your personal walk with God. Show your husband Jesus through your actions and through your love for him. You certainly can't forcibly drag him along for the ride (lol, I'm certain that many Christians with non-Christian partners have tried). Continue to pray for him...pray that God would reach him. And certainly it doesn't mean that you 2 are any less in love than any other couple (Christian or not). Of course it would be painful if the two of you seperated or divorced...I hope you never have to go through that. And I hope that other's can see how hurtful their judemental attitudes can be.

Love, Heather

 

[charligirl]

I agree with Heather.

I also believe that it's prayer, along with the actions and example of the wife that will bring the unbelieving husband through. no you should not be alone in this, have you a prayer group at church or a prayer partner? you need other believers to stand with you that 'you and your household' will be saved.

At our church we specifically pray about the unbelieving husbands that our church members have.

My Mother has been praying for my Father for years....I mean years, it took about 30 before he began to thaw.. he's now a believer so DON'T GIVE UP!!!

 

[WashedClean]

Hi Snoopy2 ,

I can totally relate to what you're feeling. I've been a Christian for about 2 1/2 years (married 12) and my husband is not a believer. It's very difficult and sometimes I feel completely alone.

However, I pray for my husband's salvation every day, as I'm sure you do as well. I've asked the Lord to lead me to a mentor or women in similar circumstances and very slowly it's beginning to happen. Is there a support group at your church for women with unsaved spouses?

Also, I highly recommend a book I read recently called "Surving a Spiritual Mismatch" by Lee Stroebel. He was an ATHEIST when his wife came to the Lord and ended up becoming a strong believer himself, after he researched Christianity. You may be familiar with his books, the Case for Christ and the Case for Faith.

Anyway, focus on the Lord. They Bible says our unbelieving husbands may be won over without a word. I know this is very difficult, but it can be done!

Please let us know how you're doing. You can also e-mail me at Jill213@faithmail .com if you want to chat.

Love in Christ,

WashedClean

 

[LadySaint]

I have several friends in this position. As the others said just be a Godly example and pray.

Another good book that I recommend is "The Power Of A Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Hi Snoopy2,

I just wanted to encourage you and say that you're in my prayers. I can totally relate - I'm married to a non-believer too. I feel that every day I have to keep my family in prayers in order for the household to run smoothly.

As everyone else has said, be a silent example to him. I remember 3 separate people saying that to me 2 years into my marriage when I'd reached a point to where I was ready to quit. It is hard though, I'll admit and there are days when I actually ask the Lord to take us away from the marriage. I've even vented here a couple of times But each time I pray about it, I am given the strength to carry on and try to make the marriage work.

Feel free to pm me if ever you need to talk

G-d bless