Nobody knew.....

[Erica81]

How did everyone come to find out they had BPD? Did it go undiagnosed for years? I am just curious because Ive struggled all of my life and nobody could understand what was wrong with me. I was labeled gifted in Elementary School and promoted to a higher grade in the middle of the school year and everyone labeled me a problem child who was just defiant because I had proven that I had the intelligence to understand how ot behave but the outcome was the opposite.

About a year or so ago after some desperate research to find answers that for so long had been unanswered I came upon an article for BPD and while reading it I got that feeling that you get when you place the last puzzle piece into place and the task is complete. Everything made sense for me.

So I diagnosed myself with BPD and have since then pretty much researched my own treatment schedule because unfrotunately out of all the doctors I have visited none of them have been able to even tell me what has caused me so much chaos all my life nevermind how to treat it.

It has definitely been a struggle to put trust in those that lean on you to tell them about yoru disorder that they went to medical school to learn about Its kind of like breaking your leg and being asked to put on your own cast. You knwo what I mean?

Has anyone been in the same boat and why is such a devastating disruptive disorder still so unknown about to so many people? I mean Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana were thought to have both been BPD The phenomenon that we can send a man to the moon, but dont know how to properly diagnose and treat this disorder perplexes me. Any thoughts?

 

[DR RekLaw]

I found out by going to a phyciatris( i know it is spelled wrong). Yes it went undiagnosed for years.

 

[Erica81]

Dr,

Do you feel relieved now that you know whats been wrong or does the complexity of the disorder kind of make you feel more helpless?

I feel kind of both. When theres really an outline of what kind of behaviors attribute to this illness and you find yoruself idenitfying with mosst or all of them, it at laest for me has really made me doubt everything in my life. I have a hard time discerning fact from fiction. I perceive the world differently than others without BPD so how do I know when to have faith in my own stance and when to back down and take on someone elses point of view? Its very difficult and confusing, yet easier to deal with because I know Im not alone.

 

[DR RekLaw]

I feel very relieved in the fact that i'm not crazy,insane or having a pitty party.

When i was handed the paper that discribed bpd i was like this isnt me. I was told to take it home and show my wife. She told me it had my name all over it. I still did not beleave it. I was instantly put on meds. When they started to work i looked at the paper again and saw myself. It was a rude awakening.

I have been on meds for about a year and a lot of my past is starting to make more sence. I have never thought more clearly in my life and i'm 46.

I too look at the world and think differantly than others. This i have allways done but now its more clear.

One thing i learnd is to pay close attention to your mind and it will let you know when something is not right. To give you an example im trying to quit smoking. So i ask my doctor about the new pill they have. Said it work great. I noticed i started to get depressed and wanting to die. Some one told me it was one of the side effects. I stopped taking the pill. So you see the mind was telling me that something was not right. You have to pay close attention to how you feel and think.


I liked you first post about school and being called gifted. Ive been told many times that i ponder things to much.

I hope this helps some. Remember some of the greatist people in the work had some kind of mental illness.