No TV Until Age 5!!

[Redguard]

No, this is not the rule that I have for my kid.

But this is what my cousin says she plans on doing when her kids arrive.

My wife and I were trying to tell her that, while this is possible, it's unrealistic. She's a recently married teacher fresh out of Teacher's College and she feels that children are better off without television exposure (including children's programming) for the first 5 years of their life.

I told her that she was just looking for a parenting method that she could one day brag about to other parents if her child turns out to be a genius. I know people like this. Their child does something intriguing (like spelling a difficult word) and when everyone awws in amazement, the parent will boastfully announce, "Well yes... we make sure that Junior doesn't watch any television! That's why he's smarter than your child!"

My daughter is 18 months... she watches Dora and Sesame Street and other great kids programs. My wife and I both think that she's fairly well developed mentally and behaviourally.

Do any of you parents have any television rules in place? (No sex, violence or bad language would be considered a given).

 

[andiesmama]

No tv until age 5??? While it sounds good in theory, I don't think I could personally aspire to that lofty goal!!

I'll be the first to admit...my daughter thinks Dora is her best friend, every time she sees any kind of paw print, she yells out "IT'S A CLUE!!", she has 2 Elmo dolls she sleeps with....shall I go on??

She also counts to 20, knows her letters, colors, and shapes, and knows a few Spanish words (thanks in part to our friend Dora).

We watch Noggin mostly, I've found their shows are really educational PLUS there are no commercials between shows....more short learning segments. She has DVDs like Veggie Tales, Dora, Blue, Bear in the Big Blue House, and Strawberry Shortcake.

Also, she doesn't sit and watch tv 24-7, we watch in the morning while we eat breakfast & while mommy has a cup or two of coffee!! Then after her nap, maybe a movie while I cook dinner....

Personally, I don't see a thing wrong with exposing your child to educational television....I think it can only enhance, not hurt!

Just my opinion!!

 

[Redguard]

That was our same argument to my cousin.

I should probably mention how this conversation got started. We were joking about music from the 80s and my wife mentioned Rick James.

My cousin asked, "Who's Rick James?"

My wife started laughing and my cousin was embarassed. She then retorted by saying that she wasn't raised watching television, and her husband (in her defense), said that she's turned out just fine without it, and so they want to apply this principle with their children.

I thought it was silly. My parents didn't play 80s funk music when I was a kid, but I know who Rick James is. I had 20 years afterwards to find out.

We tried to explain to her that children require entertainment. And unless you're the most diligent SAHP (Stay at home parent) in the WORLD, you will need to rely on television once in a while.

Add to that the fact that my cousin doesn't plan on staying home very long after giving birth. She wants to be back to work asap because she has a fear of fitting into a mold of being "a mother". She's actually already assigned her husband to be the one to take work leave (which is a whole nother matter in itself).

 

[Jenna]

There's nothing wrong with setting boundaries, including those for television useage. I think that it's sad that anyone would give her a hard time about it, honestly. It's not like she's trying to keep someone else's kids away from the television, just her own.

 

[andiesmama]

Yea, setting boundaries is one thing which I totally agree with, but in my opinion, it's simply unrealistic to expect your child to watch absolutely NO television for their first 5 years...play-dates, day care (if they choose to use it), staying overnite at grandparent's house or aunt/uncle's house, etc.

 

[Redguard]

I think that before you actually have kids, it's easy to talk about what you "plan" on doing. For a lot of people, things change once the kids actually arrive (most people, not all).

I understand that a lot of what I wrote above seems harsh, but you just need to understand the context of the conversation that we had. It was all in good humour. Nothing was meant as criticism, but more of a "Are you SURE about that?" nudge.

In regards to the quote that BlueImpulse quoted me on:

I told her that she was just looking for a parenting method that she could one day brag about to other parents if her child turns out to be a genius. I know people like this.

... My cousin has a cousin who has a 3 yr old son. While we all know him to be a smart kid, everyone ALSO knows about all of the unique aspects that his parents take to raising him... which include not watching tv.

Now, why does everyone happen to know this? Because they won't hesitate to tell you. (it's bravado)

"This is my parenting technique and my son is proof as to why my parenting techniques are superior".
(I say this with a tongue firmly planted in my cheek, so please take no offense)

Again, we weren't criticizing her, but we were poking fun. It was a case where you have to know her and her personality. She's a school librarian and she calls us every day screaming, "I AM IN NO RUSH TO HAVE ANY KIDS!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"

 

[Jenna]

Wow, I'm glad that my family doesn't spend their time making fun of me instead of supporting me. That would be awful. There is nothing wrong with having high expectations for your own behavior. In a time when people commonly let the television raise their children, I'd say that it is no wonder that many children excel in studies when they get consistent interaction with their parents instead of the tv. I'd even venture to say that it is something that we might ALL want to entertain, the idea of spending more quality time with our kids than the tv does.

 

[psychoceramic]

Ok if this was asked then i missed it... but does your cousin mean.... No commercial tv?

If that is the case i agree sort of. we have a tv in our house right now.. two of them actually... but only a video and dvd player hooked up to them. Our oldest daughter... who lives with her mom half time.... watches only videos and movies here and we are very select on which ones she watches. Mostly becuase we know we have to counter what she watches elsewhere with a Godly message.

as for our new one due in a month... she will watch movies and videos and the like but tv commercial style will only come when we are at other peoples houses and then hopefully she will choose the better prgrams to watch.



In JESUS,
psycho

 

[selune]

I think it's ok to not have kids watch tv. I do disagree with those who get all uppity in my face about letting my little ones watch. There's some great things out there. There's some terrible drivel too. I love Blue, Steve, Joe, Dora, Little Bear...WB toons, and various kids movies and DVDs. I watch them all with our kids and we have a grand time. I sometimes let the kids watch something so I can get work done that they can't help with. We also play games and read do puzzles and more. Balance folks.

FYI ADHD Is Not Usually Caused by:
too much TV
food allergies
excess sugar
poor home life
poor schools

http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/add/nimh/causes.htm

 

[Redguard]

I think that all parents would support that idea.

But please don't misinterpret this as me making 'fun' of my cousin. We're very close and open with each other. This was just another conversation for us, not a crucifixion.

 

[Andry]

I think the idea is silly and immature. Talk about throwing out the baby with the bath water. What's next? No driving until 30 years of age because speeding kills teens?

 

[selune]

I think the idea is silly and immature. Talk about throwing out the baby with the bath water. What's next? No driving until 30 years of age because speeding kills teens?

LOL Imagine, I'd be just starting instead of having driven 1/2 my life. What an odd thought.

 

[Redguard]

Ok if this was asked then i missed it... but does your cousin mean.... No commercial tv?

She says no tv AT ALL.

She says that, in her opinion, there's nothing on tv that she thinks a child NEEDS to see or hear in their first 5 years.

I'm not saying that she's wrong... I'm just saying that it's unrealistic. My wife is at home right now with our daughter. If it weren't for Dora, she'd have a hard time getting into the kitchen to work on a meal.

 

[Andry]

We need to remain relevant to our world.

I take turns teaching our Sunday school's preschoolers. When the kids talk about some show that they saw, I know exactly which show and episode they're talking about, and fully relate to them with Biblical principles.

For example, sometime my 4 yo panics when he's in a new environment, so I say, 'remember chicken little.....getting all hot and bothered over nothing except an acorn. And nothing happened right?'

Another one is from Top Gun (yes, the Tom Cruise one) where the difference between Cougar and Maverick were the differences in their choices. Cougar couldn't refocus, Maverick could.

I think that's part of being relevant.

 

[selune]

She says no tv AT ALL.

She says that, in her opinion, there's nothing on tv that she thinks a child NEEDS to see or hear in their first 5 years.

I'm not saying that she's wrong... I'm just saying that it's unrealistic. My wife is at home right now with our daughter. If it weren't for Dora, she'd have a hard time getting into the kitchen to work on a meal.

Ahh, here may be the real issue. No, there is nothing on tv that a child needs to see. EVER. There's nothing on tv that anyone NEEDS to see. Heck, the news is in print form and online and same with the weather. So as for a NEED issue on needing to see anything, there isn't one. Now, as for allowing certain things for enjoyment purposes, that's another thing.

 

[Jenna]

How many thousands of years have human beings existed on this earth without television? Oh yeah......... *nods* I think that we can live quite well without them, and most likely spend more of our time being productive.

Of course, it would be difficult to keep a child from television when they are visiting. That is pretty understandable. However, some of the biggest life changes that we make are focused around what happens in our own homes, and not the hour that they spend visiting and a relative's house. She may not win out completely with the 'no tv' thing, but at least by restricting it when she IS able to, she is giving her child a whole slew of other healthy options.

 

[andiesmama]

All I know is, I thought before I had my daughter (the years when I didn't know what it was acutally like to have a little one running around), I had great expectations of things like this (ie:no tv). I simply go back to my point....saying absolutely no tv is unrealistic! (at least, where I'm coming from). I am a SAHM, my husband is out the door at 7 am and back home at 7 at night, which allows me to stay home with our daughter. However, if she didn't have Dora or Veggie Tales to entertain her once in awhile, the dishes would not get done, dinner would not get done, bathrooms would not get cleaned....

Yes, I know you should welcome your children's participation in helping you with chores, and I do. However, Andie can't be in the kitchen when I'm working at the stove, nor in the bathrooms when I'm using that cleaner.

And I forgot who mentioned not hearing of play dates before age 6?? We meet mommies at the playground, her gym class, and story time at the library. She has a weekly standing play date with friends. (See? We do other stuff than watch tv!) And she's two & a half.

I know the OP didn't mean for this to turn into a huge debate (right?? ) but it's something I happen to have a strong opinion about. I hope I haven't offended anyone, it surely wasn't my intention!

 

[katelyn]

Wow, there are a lot of strong opinions on this. I don't really know how I feel about it, but I do think that how realistic of a goal no TV is depends on the parents. I have to admit that for us, it probably wouldn't be a realistic goal. We bought a new TV a few years ago, and while we don't watch a ton of TV (nor do we have a ton of channels), we do watch on a somewhat regular basis. With those habits, I can't really see us following through on a no TV rule. (If we don't follow the rule, how can we expect our kids to?)

However, we do know a family that doesn't own a TV, and that works just fine for them. Personally, I think the no TV at home goal makes more sense than saying no TV before age ___. For one thing, most people have more than one kid...and basically, as soon as you let one kid start watching TV, it all goes downhill from there.

I do think that the "no TV" family I know has a TV in their van so when they go on trips they can watch movies. I think that's kind of neat because it makes what is normal for many kids a treat.

 

[andiesmama]

Wow, there are a lot of strong opinions on this. I don't really know how I feel about it, but I do think that how realistic of a goal no TV is depends on the parents. I have to admit that for us, it probably wouldn't be a realistic goal. We bought a new TV a few years ago, and while we don't watch a ton of TV (nor do we have a ton of channels), we do watch on a somewhat regular basis. With those habits, I can't really see us following through on a no TV rule. (If we don't follow the rule, how can we expect our kids to?)

However, we do know a family that doesn't own a TV, and that works just fine for them. Personally, I think the no TV at home goal makes more sense than saying no TV before age ___. For one thing, most people have more than one kid...and basically, as soon as you let one kid start watching TV, it all goes downhill from there.

I do think that the "no TV" family I know has a TV in their van so when they go on trips they can watch movies. I think that's kind of neat because it makes what is normal for many kids a treat.

Well said, I agree with everything you said completely!!

 

[Andry]

I just got home from work.

My son spent the whole afternoon playing with his Megabloks. In the family room. Where the TV is. It was off all afternoon.

He's now playing in his room. With his Megabloks with his mom. He's got a TV in his room. It's off.

I think it all depends on how we as parents raise our kids.