No reason to live

knw1991 · May 4, 2014

I'm truly double minded. I don't want you all to think I'm seeking attention. I've decided to give up on praying or having any hope at all. I just have to live in the world the best I know how. Thank you for all your support. I just don't want to wrestle with this anymore. It's already caused mental illness, it has never brought anything good

Ruthie24 · May 4, 2014

I don't believe you are seeking attention. I DO believe you feel hopeless and need lots of love and support. Just remember you are not alone. Christ was there for me in my darkest hours. He's there for you as well.

knw1991 · May 4, 2014

Thanks. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have peace when I'm trying to trust or in times of giving up. I can't let go of the bad and it hurts knowing that because I struggled with doubt it caused me to have depression. I feel let down by God

knw1991 · May 4, 2014

My head is hurting I can't stop crying of all the times I begged God for help he hasn't helped me, someone messaged me last week saying they didn't receive help from God either. I want to die I'm just worthless and trash

ToBeBlessed · May 4, 2014

knw1991 said:
My head is hurting I can't stop crying of all the times I begged God for help he hasn't helped me, someone messaged me last week saying they didn't receive help from God either. I want to die I'm just worthless and trash

Maybe he is sending his love through us? Maybe we love you and want to help you. Most of us have cried many desperate tears ourself. We feel your pain because we've all been in that lonely place.

We understand. We've been there too! Someone carried us. Let us help you.

knw1991 · May 4, 2014

You're right, thank you Tobeblessed

Javanwarbler · May 4, 2014

Dear Know,

I have been scared and wondered if I'm really saved or not. I still struggle with this and I can't get peace about it! I have had a lot happen recently and my depression keeps pulling me down to where I've thought suicide too. I just know that God doesn't want us to give up! God knows us better than we know ourselves!

knw1991 · May 4, 2014

Hi Javanwarbler, I'm sorry you've been struggling and hurting. I will pray for you and I'm glad to see you have faith. I have none but I still pray for others because I want them to be healed and happy

knw1991 · May 5, 2014

today has not been going well so far. my father called me from jail asking for money to bail him out. i told him no. he has really been a disappointment to me my whole life. i feel bad for saying so because i have also disappointed God a lot. i was just praying this morning and reading about triumohing through trials and not walking away from God. I feel that my life thus far has been filled with pain and disappointment. it seems the only area i can make something out of myself is in school. i dont know what God wants me to do at this point. i wish i was born with a different father

ToBeBlessed · May 5, 2014

knw1991 said:
today has not been going well so far. my father called me from jail asking for money to bail him out. i told him no. he has really been a disappointment to me my whole life. i feel bad for saying so because i have also disappointed God a lot. i was just praying this morning and reading about triumphing through trials and not walking away from God. I feel that my life thus far has been filled with pain and disappointment. it seems the only area i can make something out of myself is in school. i dont know what God wants me to do at this point. i wish i was born with a different father

You cannot change what your father chooses to do or be. We are all given free will, you can change what is in your realm of control. We know from the Word we are to pray for those who hurt us. We are to forgive them and all vengence and correction is the Lord's not ours.

All we can do is love. It is not always love to do what the other person wants us to do.

Pray for your father.

knw1991 · May 5, 2014

okay i will. thank you

Spunkn · May 5, 2014

I don't think you need to feel guilty about telling your father no in regards to bailing him out of jail. There needs to be a real change of heart. If there isn't he will probably just end up in jail again.

knw1991 · May 5, 2014

it hurts knowing that i missed out on the chance to experience what it would be like to have a father. in times where we did spend time together, i felt like i was worth something. i asked God why am i so worthless. life has been more than i can bear and i dont know why i should keep living. it seems like God isnt there or understand how much im hurting

ToBeBlessed · May 5, 2014

knw1991 said:
it hurts knowing that i missed out on the chance to experience what it would be like to have a father. in times where we did spend time together, i felt like i was worth something. i asked God why am i so worthless. life has been more than i can bear and i dont know why i should keep living. it seems like God isnt there or understand how much im hurting

It does hurt. My father is pretty much the same way and my mom was too, so I know how you feel. We have the parents we have and we wish things would be different or had been different, and then we have to let it go. There will be other wonderful people in your life. No, they won't be your father, you have only one, but they will help fill some of the void you may have with love and acceptance.

Wishing things could be different for too long is a trap of satan. Things cannot be different as far as our parents, we have who we have, we cannot change that! It is out of your realm of control. Let It Go. Trust me. It will do nothing positive for you but make you sad.

I'm praying for you. Be strong!

Ruthie24 · May 5, 2014

knw1991 said:
it hurts knowing that i missed out on the chance to experience what it would be like to have a father. in times where we did spend time together, i felt like i was worth something. i asked God why am i so worthless. life has been more than i can bear and i dont know why i should keep living. it seems like God isnt there or understand how much im hurting

You aren't alone. My mom and dad were both severe alcoholics. My dad is now 83 and is still drinking like a tank. When he was living with me I asked him to not drink in my home and instead I came home from work one day and he had several bottles of booze set away. That's when I knew he wasn't ever gonna stop as well as forget about the house rules. All I can say is it takes time to accept this, that you never had the kind of dad you wanted. After this incident with my dad he moved out at my request (he can throw down a large bottle of whiskey even at 82 in a day). This is when i accepted that our relationship would always be marred by his addiction. My parents were more concerned about their booze than their own kids and that's just really hard to accept. It takes time to accept it as it really is a grieving process about you losing what you hoped for. With my mom it was more grief because she drank from depression, with my dad it was anger because he just didn't care about his kids and even told us so repeatedly. Because everyone is on this continuum of healing, no one person gets through the grieving process the same way or at the same time. You might one day just be angry at your dad then another day be filled with grief and both are totally ok. For me i experienced the loss first then the anger 2nd. For my sister unfortunately she is battling with severe depression and doesn't want help. So she just started the grieving process and she is now 51. I grieved in my early thirties and went through the anger bit a few years ago. Please don't be hard on yourself. Everyone goes at their own pace and it's not your fault what happened.

knw1991 · May 5, 2014

i see that nothing good could ever come out of my life. i wonder what else i will lose out on. i should prepare myself and accept that i will live a life of pain. im ready to throw in the towel, im worthless thats all there is to it. i give up

Ruthie24 · May 5, 2014

I know you want to believe that, but that's the depression talking not you. When we get depressed our brains really do think differently. It's the absence or imbalance of hormones talking, not you. It's really important not to give up on yourself because honestly what you just said ^^^ is the chemical imbalance talking, not you. There is a book called The Depression Cure by Dr. Stephen Ilardi and he uses a 6 step system called TLC that has been proven to work in large studies even without medicine. This is what I use and you can get it on Amazon kindle for $8-9.
Major Depression is an extremely debilitating illness and it's all centered around that brain chemistry that makes us think in such negative ways when the hormones are out of wack.

knw1991 · May 5, 2014

Please pray for me. I've received shocking news today and life just doesn't make sense and I'm needing to have hope and assurance of who God is, the devil is playing in my mind, please help me

RuthD · May 5, 2014

Seriously, check out this link. It can help you greatly if you study it:

http://www.christianforums.com/t7628469/

ToBeBlessed · May 6, 2014

knw1991 said:
Please pray for me. I've received shocking news today and life just doesn't make sense and I'm needing to have hope and assurance of who God is, the devil is playing in my mind, please help me

i'll be praying for you. Keep talking and writing on this thread and we will help get you through it!

You have a lot of love and support here from us.

No reason to live

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God doesn't ever stop loving us thank God!

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