No presents for Christmas

[Forge3]

My financial situation is so bad I have to tell my family I will not be able to send presents but cards. And ask them only to send me cards and prayers. And when I say only this does not mean to belittle cards and prayers. Good sentiments and prayers are precious. It is more the need to simplify.

I have cancelled my bus pass and walk to wherever I go now. I will cancel my cable. Just want to keep my phone and the internet where I can reach out here and have some extra fellowship. I have taken up reading and am cutting back on my food bill, no extras. Not that this is a terrible thing. I have dreamed of a more simple life and now it is here lol. It is just adjusting to it through prayer and faith. Also did not want my Mother and sister to know how tight things have become.

So prayers are welcome. I pray to embrace this new simplicity and draw closer to Christ. Not to grieve it. It feels like I am in a crucible and one that is my fault. And one that may in turn help make me a better Christian.

 

[Fireinfolding]

I have done this many years back myself Forge, we dont gift exchange between family members anymore, and hadnt for years. Its been very freeing. It always ended up we were paying for everyones gift by credit cards because we really couldnt afford to buy everyone on our lists "wants". Like giving to the rich (somewhat) you grow poor, there was never really a "need" but what was consumed on "lusts". So we ended it and were glad for bowing out of the holiday, that way. Though we dont exchange cards either.

Since then no more credit cards, and have simplified our lives, and it has brought much peace in the sense that we arent worrying over what gifts to give others (who have no need of them) or how we must (after the fact) hunker down and pay for them because we couldnt afford those things (in reality). Buying their desires seemed to cause us great anxiety in respects to our ability to pay for them, its like it created this cycle of bondage for us every year.

Your in my prayers too

 

[ReginaPhlange]

You are in my prayers too Forge

I think Christmas can put the most pressure on us when living within a material world.

We are also having to watch the spending and with a large family to buy presents for, I'm looking at thrifty alternatives.

I think a lot of us will be in similar situations. As you've said Forge, approach with prayer and be pleased about being rich in the Spirit

God bless

 

[weariedsoul]

My financial situation is so bad I have to tell my family I will not be able to send presents but cards. And ask them only to send me cards and prayers. And when I say only this does not mean to belittle cards and prayers. Good sentiments and prayers are precious. It is more the need to simplify.

I have cancelled my bus pass and walk to wherever I go now. I will cancel my cable. Just want to keep my phone and the internet where I can reach out here and have some extra fellowship. I have taken up reading and am cutting back on my food bill, no extras. Not that this is a terrible thing. I have dreamed of a more simple life and now it is here lol. It is just adjusting to it through prayer and faith. Also did not want my Mother and sister to know how tight things have become.

So prayers are welcome. I pray to embrace this new simplicity and draw closer to Christ. Not to grieve it. It feels like I am in a crucible and one that is my fault. And one that may in turn help make me a better Christian.

I know the feeling, i'm reminded of paul's words and they are helpful. As you know we are blessed to share in the Lords sufferings, it just doesn't feel like a blessing sometimes. I hope these scriptures are as helpful to you as they are for me.



Heb_12:3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

Rom 8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
Rom 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Rom 8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

Rom 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
Rom 8:17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
Rom 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Rom 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
Rom 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
Rom 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Php 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Php 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 

[stormdancer0]

We have three young children. Last year we decided that if three gifts were enough for God's Son, it's enough for us. They really have to consider well what they ask for. They are also very giving children.

I still can't convince my mom not to try to give her adult children gifts. The problem is, my older two siblings both get mad if "mama and daddy"don't give them a gift.

And they are 46 and 48 years old!!


Scarey

 

[Forge3]

Thanks for your support, sharing and inspiration

 

[Child of JC]

Ecc 3:1 There is a time for everything. There's a time for everything that is done on earth.

And, He is Lord of the times.
We give at Christmas because He says or because it's the standard of the world?
I like to give, but in recent years I don't like what Christmas has become. With that said, I haven't had the courage to resist and stop spending my cash on useless obligatory gifts.

 

[motherprayer]

Christmas is only one reason to give gifts, and the best gift one can give is love, and I am confident you have an abundance of that, my friend!

My family stopped doing gifts at Christmas, and just give throughout the year as we feel called. My 8 year old actually loves this, because she didn't have to wait for Christmas for her Ipod that I found really cheap at a yard sale a few months back, and I get to relax as the families I know stress out during the holidays.

My family is strapped year round, so I understand your plight. Remember, there are little trinkets you can buy to put under the tree for a dollar or two, just for the sake of ceremony!

 

[Fireinfolding]

You can sometimes see a principal come out of this whole thing in other areas of our lives. For example, I have a sister who (at one time) would pay to get her teeth bleached and carry $500 bags (frivilous things eyecandy things were her priority). So the money would go out to "these" but then she would get a toothache and being broke she couldnt afford her own care, and cry (even to me) because she didnt have the $1700 for the root canal and crown she wanted. Then was pretty devestated when she had to have her back tooth pulled for $150 (because thats all she had left). But you can see the same sorta principal play out in pleasurable spending verses what is needful in various ways in our lives and how it gets ourselves in trouble. Scriptures speak of growing poor giving gifts to the rich (which are those without need) and the whole christmas thing become a bondage, even a way to impress others, and a way of measuring ourselves and/or others also. For example, you hear someone ask, "whats considered cheap"? or "Oh I spent much more on her then she did on me" (she's cheap) and various other voices which (over time) accumulate in your mind and become crushing to the spirit. These began (at first) to cause anxiety, and so we'd unwittingly tried to keep up (jump on this Jone's wheel too) till we just couldnt run on it any longer. I found myself starting christmas shopping in July because I couldnt take all the pressures that come with the holiday at one time, I began to dread it. Not only that, the other reason, I would always find "something" would always "come up" and get in the way of that spending (on others). Like an emmergency of sorts, never failed, so I would make them the priority (in these things) and then fall short (also) for myself even as my own sister did. But instead of it being me buying my own pleasures (and falling short for what was needful) my was the opposite case (and still just as wrong) buying others pleasures (and lusts) and falling short for what was needful for us. And just about everyone (save the richer relatives) found themselves broke, and unable to do what was needful after the whole aftermath and neither could any of us help the other (for what was needful) because we were all broke spending on pleasures. Not to mention the bill that shows up in January if you put it on a credit card. Which I usually paid for till it was time to pick up next years pleasures I couldnt afford.

What I found though, was as much as I hated to say "I bail out", and because of the same vain thought, "others will think I am cheap". I finally said to myself, so what? I was becoming cheap because of that holiday and not just for pratical reasons but because its demands (by them all) were driving me to pinch my pennies for it. The half the time you go home with stuff you know you dont need, or even want and say to yourself, what am I doing here? The Spirit of giving in Jesus Christ is to remember the poor, those who have nothing, not those who have so much they need to think long and hard over what they want of you. Its nuts.

And parents love to give gifts to their children, theres nothing like seeing their faces light up (must admit it). And I was no different with my own daughter. When she was little I was buying all her books (used) and various other things used (but which were in great condition). She didnt care because she didnt even know to care, thats actually taught to them, "Oh thats used" (type thing). But heck, I buy any CD I might want at amazon, and I might see full price at $16 but also see get it used (and like new) for $2.99 and I always chose used. Stretching your buck because it doesnt go that far nowadays. And I buy more things used then new myself. And am thankful for places like ebay and consignment shops, and places similar.

But I must say christmas had never (for me) felt rewarding (as I traditionally carried it out) all those years way back. And I suppose because of how commercialized it is and all the pressure accompanying all that pleasure spending. It sure doesnt leave you much to do for others who actually have a need. But in throwing it off the one became a means to the end of enabling me to pick up the other and actaully feeling rewarded, even blessed in the same doing.

Besides, it seems far easier to please God, then it ever is living trying to please all men, one is rewarding the other is like some kind of bondage or noose that eventually chokes you or something.

 

[weariedsoul]

It feels good to give, the other day i gave somebody something and it made me feel good because i did it for the Lord. Not that i am good, or want others to think good of me but because i am with the Lord and it was for Him, i just felt good about serving, something i don't do nearly enough of. It felt good to help that person too. Im' thankful that God blessed me with that opportunity. Giving should be year around, and God gives us opportunities to give i think, if we want them, that's our service to the lord. Yet Christmas is a nice holiday and i hope and pray that Forge is blessed too, and that God gives him a good Christmas with His family.

 

[Tigger45]

First of all I'm glad you are leaving your internet on because I enjoy having you around. I too have found myself on a simpler path and I have grown to depend on the Lord more which has richened my relationship with Him. When I was growing up we had very little but I learned to appreciate the Christmas season for the Chirstmas spirit {I didn't grow up in a Christian home} more then the gifts. Also my frugal upbringing made it easier to adapt to my new financial situation.

My financial situation is so bad I have to tell my family I will not be able to send presents but cards. And ask them only to send me cards and prayers. And when I say only this does not mean to belittle cards and prayers. Good sentiments and prayers are precious. It is more the need to simplify.

I have cancelled my bus pass and walk to wherever I go now. I will cancel my cable. Just want to keep my phone and the internet where I can reach out here and have some extra fellowship. I have taken up reading and am cutting back on my food bill, no extras. Not that this is a terrible thing. I have dreamed of a more simple life and now it is here lol. It is just adjusting to it through prayer and faith. Also did not want my Mother and sister to know how tight things have become.

So prayers are welcome. I pray to embrace this new simplicity and draw closer to Christ. Not to grieve it. It feels like I am in a crucible and one that is my fault. And one that may in turn help make me a better Christian.

 

[RickardoHolmes]

Christmas Presents are nice, but Seriously, are they a neccesity? And when they become the focus of the holiday, does the holiday then not lose any personal spiritual significance?

I canot think of any materrial object that I do not already have that I would wish for Christmas. Since I have been spending my Sunday mornings where I do, I have become not only less materialistic but satisfied with what I have got already. Above all else, I do not gather pleasure from the acquisition of material goods. There are people, ideals, actions to which I am attached, but material goods? My happiness does not center around wealth anymore.

There is absolutely Nothing wrong with your situation and your choice to forgo the material aspect of the holiday, Forge. I would hope that your family and loved ones can understand what you are going through. And you are not the only one. Believe me, more and more families are in situations similar to yours.
And you are doing the right thing in existing simply
There is a phrase I like . it goes
Don't just simply exist; rather, exist simply!

(Apologies to the late great Kurt Vonnegut for usinng a semicolon LOL)

 

[Forge3]

Christmas Presents are nice, but Seriously, are they a neccesity? And when they become the focus of the holiday, does the holiday then not lose any personal spiritual significance?

I canot think of any materrial object that I do not already have that I would wish for Christmas. Since I have been spending my Sunday mornings where I do, I have become not only less materialistic but satisfied with what I have got already. Above all else, I do not gather pleasure from the acquisition of material goods. There are people, ideals, actions to which I am attached, but material goods? My happiness does not center around wealth anymore.

There is absolutely Nothing wrong with your situation and your choice to forgo the material aspect of the holiday, Forge. I would hope that your family and loved ones can understand what you are going through. And you are not the only one. Believe me, more and more families are in situations similar to yours.
And you are doing the right thing in existing simply
There is a phrase I like . it goes
Don't just simply exist; rather, exist simply!

(Apologies to the late great Kurt Vonnegut for usinng a semicolon LOL)

Thank-you for your kind words