No more excuses...

[Amadeus]

Sorry, but I am a bit angry because of this. I feel like I need to get this off my chest.

When girls/women want to reject a guy, why is it that they usually use the infamous "I just want to be friends" and "You are too nice of a guy" jazz? If you are going to reject a guy, just say why. Like "I am still looking for the right guy" or something on those lines. To tell you the truth, when a girl says that she would rather be friends, it makes me want to blow up in their face. I'd respect someone more if they were truthful.

 

[Bryan Lim]

They just don't want to hurt your feelings. I myself have undergo those kind of rejection. So, I feel for you.

 

[RadG]

They just don't want to hurt your feelings. I myself have undergo those kind of rejection. So, I feel for you.

I have also experienced this type of rejection but it is the worst when the way that they say it indicates that there is the possibility of someting developing when there really is no chance at all.

 

[Tuffguy]

Tell them you don't want her as a friend. Say I have plenty of friends,, and when i have an opening i'll let you know.

 

[klewlis]

Why assume that she is not sincere?

I can think of lots of guy friends who I would not date, and to say "I just want to be friends with you" would be perfectly honest.

 

[Amadeus]

Personally, I have more friends than I can deal with. Meeting a girl, and building an infatuation happens often for me, so I just make more friends, and get nowhere romantically.

 

[Bryan Lim]

Amadeus, it is the same thing here. lol!

 

[Amadeus]

Let's make a club, lol

 

[Jedi]

The phrase "I just want to be friends" is an easy way out. It makes sure the relationship doesn't go further than she wants it to go, and it asserts that the relationship isn't entirely over. In most cases, it's also truthful. I know it bites to hear those words, since you really want to be more than friends, but relationships are two-way streets. Whoever holds the least interest in a relationship holds the power (since the person with the most interest is at the mercy of the person who has the least interest). As much as it might hurt to hear the "I just want to be friends" type of phrases, keep in mind that if it isn't her, it's someone better, and that is an encouraging thought.

 

[joeman1]

Yeah I have had to keep my mind on that thought but after so long it really doesn't bring relief. sometimes you just wish that there is something that you could do to make the feelings go away so that you don't hurt anymore

 

[Paul 888]

but maybe she does want to just be friends? i've meant that before..... but yes it is a bit of a cop out,

I remember being told that to break up or let a girl know you are not interested, that the best thing to say was "i'm just not attracted to you that way"...... this was poor advice!!! as the poor person goes away thinking they're ugly

I hated the "just want to be friends" line growing up!!!

 

[Blank123]

Sometimes when a girl says 'I just want to be friends' she actually means she just wants to be friends. And whats wrong with that?

lots of women want to just be friends with guys before starting anything more serious. And even if the friendship never develops into anything romantic, you can always use a good friend.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I'm observing this very frustration in my dad. Maybe it's a male thing???? He is infatuated with a lady who obviously doesn't feel the same for him. However, she hasn't even given him the 'friends' line....she just keeps leading him on, breaking his heart on a daily basis. I just want to go slap the woman sometimes and then shake dad and say 'wake up!' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!

For me, if I say I want to be friends with someone....I mean it. Of course, I can count on one hand the number of guys who have even shown remote interest in me so I can't be of much help here. lol!

 

[TheDatelessLoserX2]

Personally, I have more friends than I can deal with. Meeting a girl, and building an infatuation happens often for me, so I just make more friends, and get nowhere romantically.

Wow it almost sounds like I have a twin (minus the "it happens often" part, cuz I've almost given up putting myself out there for them to crush)...... I've gotten that brush off before...... it stings.......

 

[joeman1]

I'm observing this very frustration in my dad. Maybe it's a male thing???? He is infatuated with a lady who obviously doesn't feel the same for him. However, she hasn't even given him the 'friends' line....she just keeps leading him on, breaking his heart on a daily basis. I just want to go slap the woman sometimes and then shake dad and say 'wake up!' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!

For me, if I say I want to be friends with someone....I mean it. Of course, I can count on one hand the number of guys who have even shown remote interest in me so I can't be of much help here. lol!

I don't think its a male thing as much as it is that women like to lead us men on. sure we might get our signals crossed from time to time, but i think thats what women look for and use that to further their friendship and leave the man wanting more. doing so they ensure that the man would keep comeing back.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I don't think its a male thing as much as it is that women like to lead us men on. sure we might get our signals crossed from time to time, but i think thats what women look for and use that to further their friendship and leave the man wanting more. doing so they ensure that the man would keep comeing back.

In the case I mentioned before (dad) I believe you are 100% correct. However, I have been lead on by guys a lot and have been hurt pretty bad by that. Most women probably would freak out if a guy flat out said "look, you're too fat, ugly (insert other adjective) and I just don't have those kinds of feelings for you." I am not one of those women....tell me up front how you feel and I will leave you be. Have a nice life. I have no problem being just as blunt with a guy. I think the sooner the situation is resolved the less overall pain it is for all involved. Any woman who leads a guy on such as the one in my dad's case is heartless, in my opinion.

 

[Stanfi]

It is twisted, but they just try to be nice. Remeber this "Words are cheap". Someone once told me "If a person really wants something, there is not much they won't do to get it".

Then if she rides a broom, that may be an indication.

 

[Buskanaka]

Sometimes when a girl says 'I just want to be friends' she actually means she just wants to be friends. And whats wrong with that?

nothing's wrong with that, guys want to be friends too!

I don't think it's the actual line that hurts, it's the rejection, of not having your feelings returned. I used to think that I would rather be told 'the truth' rather than the 'be friends', and that the truth would hurt less, but I've decided that if the person genuinely wanted to be friends then it would hurt far less. Firstly because I think no matter how it's done, getting turned down hurts (and personally I'd rather be friendship material than "eww get away from me" material

). Secondly: eventually I'll get over the feelings and move on, and I would rather have a friend than not. However I think there's a different between: "I just want to be friends." and "I don't want to ruin our friendship". The former is ok, the latter is not.

lots of women want to just be friends with guys before starting anything more serious. And even if the friendship never develops into anything romantic, you can always use a good friend.

Although it may not seem like it, this is essentially leading a guy on. How can a guy be expected to know that things have changed? If a girl is one that just wants to be friends before starting anything, how is a guy supposed to know when that friendship point is reached? I have no sympathy for anyone who turns someone down then later has the unrequited love reversed.

I'm generally not attracted to anyone romantically unless we're friends, so I have struggled with finding the right time to ask. Once I waited too long and got told that she valued our friendship so much she didn't want to risk ruining it, and another time I asked too soon and got told that she "wasn't ready for a relationship". So now I work like this: as soon as I decide that I really like a girl I ask her out. If she says yes, then it's the right time. If she says no, then it's not the right time and I can move on, no uncertainty.

 

[Danielle]

I can relate to all of you except I'm a lady which means I've been rejected just the same way. Only, I was rejected this way by two different guys. I don't think this is necessarily a woman's trait. Just a thought

 

[Tuffguy]

Maybe its just me,,but i've never told an attractive cool, single, female that i want to be just friends w/her.