Nfp

LilyLamb · May 30, 2002

How does this work??

And ... how does the lady convince the guy to go along with this???

I need this info for my DD

I don't want her on the pill ... but she's not ready for babies and well, they're newlyweds, so ... well, you get the picture

Wolseley · May 31, 2002

My wife and I do this. Basically, it consists of the woman taking her temperature every morning and evening, which fluctuates with the monthly cycle and will tell her whether she's entering a fertile period or not. She also takes stock of her vag secretions during the days she suspects she may be fertile, as the consistancy of the secretions will change as well. Finally, she checks her cervix every day to see if it is dilated or not. All of these things, if showing the right conditions, will mean she is fertile. If not, then she isn't. It has a 90% or better prediction rate if you're doing it right, and it can help you get pregnant if you want to be, or avoid pregnancy if you don't.

As for convincing the husband to go along with this, well, you know men as well as I do, but IMHO if he cares about his wife and his marriage, he will want to do everything he possibly can to help her and his relationship with her. Of course, maybe that's just me.... The good part is that most women are usually only fertile for a few days each month, so it shouldn't cut into their, ah, "connunbial relations" too much.

Anyway, you can get all the information you need and more on NFP from the Couple To Couple League, who conduct seminars all over the country on how to do this. The information is:

The Couple to Couple League
PO Box 111184
Cincinnati, OH 45211-1184
Phone: (513) 471-2000
FAX: (513) 557-2449
E-mail: ccli@ccli.org
Website: www.ccli.org

Good luck!

LilyLamb · May 31, 2002

Thank you very much for posting this information - I will pass it along. What makes their situation difficult is that he is usually away during the week and so they have "quality" weekend time together. I would appreciate ya'll praying for them to make the right decisions regarding her health and well-being. Thanks again ...

Avila · May 31, 2002

There weren't any CCLI trained couples nearby to teach us NFP, so I found a good book. "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Wechsler. She even has software to help you chart, so you don't have to make up your own Excel sheet (although I would be willing to pass along a blank copy of my old ones). I have used her book for almost 5 years, and we have 2 semi-planned pregnancies out of it. It works really well, if you use it right/faithfully. It is also more rewarding for the couple, because they are partners in this.

LilyLamb · May 31, 2002

That weblink is very informative - I'm finding lots of info to share with some friends who are struggling with other areas (PCOS)!! Thanks again!!!

Avila - thanks for the title to that book - I'll look for it

Caedmon · Jun 2, 2002

Originally posted by LilyLamb
And ... how does the lady convince the guy to go along with this???

I have a similar, though reversed problem. I'm not married, nor am I dating anyone, but I've made a decision that if I do get married, I want to give God his right to life in our marriage relationship; I want a big family.

Well, I'm a Baptist, and let's just say that nonCatholic women are slightly less inclined to accept this system, not to mention the majority aversion to large families. (As an aside, I've heard it said that many pastors in preliminary couple counseling don't ask "will you use[contraception]?", but rather "which kind?".) In my case, I'll be the one doing the convincing, and I beg your prayers to help me do so. So many woman have a "problem" with a man telling her what to do with "her own body". To me, it's such an incredible thing to join together, knowing that your efforts in intimacy are not vain, that life also, not just pleasure, is remembered, promoted, and engendered through the union and its beauty. But I digress...

I honestly don't know how I'm going to convince her, if I find her one day. Sometimes it wrenches my heart apart and just jerks the tears right out of me.
Maybe it'll work out, but it doesn't look promising. The weight of that thought scares me horribly; it makes my blood run cold, sends terrible shivers through me.

Please forgive me if I'm being too emotional. It just hurts me so terribly, that the pain can't help but come out. I really needed to lay my heart open and vulnerable to you guys.

Miss Shelby · Jun 2, 2002

aw, humblejoe, whoever she is you will make a wonderful husband. You sweetie. I'll pray for you.

Refreshing to hear some guys talk like you do.

Michelle

nyj · Jun 2, 2002

Originally posted by Wolseley
My wife and I do this. Basically, it consists of the woman taking her temperature every morning and evening, which fluctuates with the monthly cycle and will tell her whether she's entering a fertile period or not

I don't know if CCL recommends it or whether I learned it in the classes my wife and I took, but the man should be intimately involved in this process, more than just being supportive. Therefore it is recommended that the husband take his wifes tempertaure every morning (basal temperature is the most accurate and indicative of an approaching fertile period) and record it.

Caedmon · Jun 2, 2002

Originally posted by nyj
I don't know if CCL recommends it or whether I learned it in the classes my wife and I took, but the man should be intimately involved in this process, more than just being supportive. Therefore it is recommended that the husband take his wifes tempertaure every morning (basal temperature is the most accurate and indicative of an approaching fertile period) and record it.

Aw, that's an awesome idea nyj! I like the idea that "the man should be intimately involved in this process, more than just being supportive". Considering what a wife goes through already, it's a good thing for the husband to take some of the responsibility. Every little bit helps. It would really make me feel better to take some of the work off my wife. I think guys often feel either left out, or like they really don't have much to do with the pregnancy. It's very disarming to feel like you can't do much to help someone that means so much to you.

GreenEyedLady · Jun 2, 2002

I am still wondering how a woman "checks her cervix"
How the heck do you know if its dialated or not? Don't you need a scope for that !?!??!!

GEL

VOW · Jun 2, 2002

A woman checks her cervix using her finger. It's easily reached in a squatting position, and the opening to the womb can be felt. At that time, she can also obtain a sample of the cervical secretions and then observe them after removing her hand.

Peace and anatomical knowledge,
~VOW

Avila · Jun 3, 2002

What VOW said. It's really easy! Unless, that is, you're pregnant. Then the thing migrates up somewhere along your nasal passage, thus dashing any hopes of finding it until sometime well after delivery of the baby. That is also why labor hurts so darn much - that baby really has a long way to go (i.e., from your nasal passage all the way down), not the 3-4 inch figure that doctor's tell you. Okay, so it only seems that way, but it makes a good story, right?

Wolseley · Jun 3, 2002

That is also why labor hurts so darn much - that baby really has a long way to go (i.e., from your nasal passage all the way down), not the 3-4 inch figure that doctor's tell you.

LOL. I remember my wife at the hospital; we were trying to find a nurse to see about some more painkillers, and couldn't find one....all of a sudden, she sat straight up in the bed and shrieked in a voice that could probably be heard in northern Saskatchewan, "I want a nurse in here NOW!!!!

She got one, too.

(....able to bend steel in her bare hands!)

We're gonna do a different hospital for the next baby.

VOW · Jun 3, 2002

To Wols, Avila, and other parents-for-another-go-round:

Get a copy of Bill Cosby's tape, "Parenthood." I watched it for the umpteeth time the night I went into labor with my son. It kept me distracted through the beginnings of the contractions.

One of my FAVORITE parts was where Bill Cosby said his wife stood STRAIGHT UP in the stirrups on the delivery table and hollered, "I WANT MORPHINE!"

BTDT

Peace and tranquilizers,
~VOW

Avila · Jun 3, 2002

LOLOLOL!!!!! I can certainly feel for your wife! I am normally very meek, mild-natured, and I will go out of my way to avoid putting anybody out. However, when it came down to needing medicine (and also when I had to push), I was downright rude and demanding. I think my hubby looked under my gown to see if any male parts had suddenly sprouted, because it was so atypical! I am actually going to try for a planned homebirth this time. At the very least, though, I will be delivering at a birthing center with a midwife. The only thing that scares me about that is the lack of drugs.....

VOW - good idea on the tape. I actually took some comedies with us into the hospital. We should've put them in, because it might've helped to distract me... Ah well, there's always this one to try it with!

VOW · Jun 3, 2002

To Avila:

I watched the tape at home, before I left for the hospital. My son was born in an Army Hospital in Nuremburg, and I think the nurse in L&D was a leftover Gestapo agent. She raised Hell with me from the moment I got on the floor until the baby popped out. I even got scolded for BREATHING WRONG on the delivery table. Sheesh, when your lungs are compressed to the size of silver dollars, who can get a deep enough breath inside to push for fifteen minutes, or whatever she wanted? In the back of my mind, I CRAVED to tell her to get up on the table and have the baby, while I stood alongside and yelled at HER.

My son was born five weeks early, and as soon as he popped out they rushed him to Intensive Care. As long as HE got the care he needed it didn't matter to me whatever torture they wanted to do the mom.

Peace be with you,
~VOW

LilyLamb · Jun 3, 2002

I love that tape!! Bill Cosby is hilarious!!

Amy - I had my third child by a midwife at a maternity house - I did not want to go to a hospital because the memories of the loss of our second dd were still too fresh on my mind (long story). I was too nervous to have a home delivery so I opted for the maternity house which was set up just like home and less than a mile from the hospital should anything go wrong.

It was heaven! There was no annoying IV, nothing in the room that was even consider "medical" looking except maybe the scale, I had the freedom to walk around, make breakfast, watch tv in the "family room", take a shower - whatever I wanted to do

My third dd was born with so little pain it brought a comment from her dad - the Lord blessed me in so many ways that day. She was born at 4pm and we were home by 7:30 pm - would've been sooner had we not hit rush hour traffic We all went to bed and slept until 6 am the next morning when she woke up hungry. None of those middle of the night and early morning sleep interruptions for bp check and such. It was awesome!!!

Avila · Jun 3, 2002

Ooh!! Thanks for the great story, Lily! The nice thing with the hospital our midwives practice out of, they do have a special birthing center for midwives' cases that have been transferred (or elected to do a hospital birth). From what I've heard, it is a lot more homier than most "birthing centers" that are associated with hospitals. So, I think I'll be great with either.

BTW, sorry to hear of the loss of your 2nd DD.

GreenEyedLady · Jun 3, 2002

"push it out shove it out WAYYYYYYYY OUT!"
-Bill Cosby

hahhaah
GEL

KC Catholic · Jun 3, 2002

Originally posted by VOW
A woman checks her cervix using her finger. It's easily reached in a squatting position, and the opening to the womb can be felt. At that time, she can also obtain a sample of the cervical secretions and then observe them after removing her hand.

Peace and anatomical knowledge,
~VOW

Yeah, well it's very difficult when your married to a hotty, she's in the fertile phase and I gotta watch her check her mucus without loosing my mind and failing NFP agaain!

I keep one of those large firehoses in our room and Mrs. KC. turns it on about 5 times of the month. But now that she is in her eighth month I'm joining a monestary until after the baby arrives!

Dang that self-control.

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