News from Lily

Hi everyone. It has been a long time since I have been back on here. It is glad to visit. I am fixing to graduate a program in Indiana. It has greatly helped me with my self-injury urges. I learned healthy coping skills like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation. It has helped me a lot with my anxiety and stress. And positive self-talk has helped me too. I've been there a year. Long story short, I have self-injured only once in this past year. And I got a job as a waitress and move into my apartment next week for my two week test trial. If I do well I graduate.

I am in Houston right now visiting my family. It was hard to see my Mom. Part of my issues have been with how my Mom has controlled me so much... like it was the first time in a year I got to see her, and it was spoiled in a way, because she kept trying to convince me I need to move back home, or transfer nursing homes to Indiana. When I have told her over and over, I can't right now... and she has Infantigo, something like that, but she has sores all over her legs. And she picks at them, says it is fun... and she said even, "I know I probably shouldn't, because it probably triggers bad memories of SI for you." But she kept doing it. Picking it, showing me the scab, asking me if I thought it was cool. I am better with boundaries, so I told her it bothered me. And when she didn't stop, I said, if she kept doing it, I would have to leave the room. Thankfully, she stopped. I think she did it on purpose, because she was mad I wouldn't move back home.

It just upset me that she did that... Anyway, needed to get that out. A year ago, I wouldn't have been able to handle that though! So it is a reason for celebration. It does make me glad I am going back to live in Indiana, because I know I love my family, but it isn't good for me to be around them too much. I want to be more open and vulnerable this time round. I was never too open. I always was isolated, and hardly shared my feelings or things I dealt with too often. My relationships are so much better now. And I want to be more open on here too, it is part of having a support system. I want one online and offline! I won't be on too much until I graduate, because except on my two week trial, I can't get on forums, but it is nice to drop by! I can't wait to start talking to everyone again! Shara

I'm in my apartment and living it up!