New widow here

[luvbulls]

New widow here trying to cope


Hi my name is Lucy and I recently lost my husband on July 30th. I am having a very hard time trying to cope as we were married for 40 years. I have been told grief counseling would help but I am not ready for group therapy and thought online people could give me some support to help me through this.

My faith (Catholic) is the only thing keeping me going right now because I know Jerry is in a better place and not suffering anymore.

Jerry was suffering from diabetes, congestive heart failure, a recent hip replacement (3 years ago) and numerous other problems. He was admitted to the hospital on July 7th with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung. The doctors discovered his blood was lacking oxygen so they put him on a breathing tube.

He eventually had to be placed on a ventilator and then his kidneys started failing and they put him on dialysis. His health just kept getting worse and finally the doctors told me he could not breathe on his own and I had to make a decision about him.

It hurt so bad to see him with a trach tube in his neck I couldn't even bear to look at him that way. I made the decision to slowly remove him from the ventilator and let him die on his own. It took 2 hours for him to finally find peace and return to the Lord.

Now I have to find a way to survive financially and emotionally without him. I see the Social Security board tomorrow to see about getting survivors benefits. If anyone can help me with this I would really appreciate it.

Lucy

 

[dbot]

Hey man,

Im so sorry to hear about that. I have a friend who went through a similiar situation with her mother, where she had the burden of deciding to take her mother off a ventilator and letting her succumb to scleroderma. It was incredibly difficult on her, and obviously you are grieving as well. You're new here, so just know that you are in good company. The people here are good and can provide you with support you need, even if the only support they can offer are prayers.

Dont worry about your provisions, as God will surely provide them for you. Also know that God is not far from you in this. These decisions he does not take easily, and he would not have set these events in motion without considering your needs and setting up a way to provide for you. Life may not always be full of smiles, but know that God is always good.

I'll pray for you friend.

 

[meh]

Hi Lucy. I am so sorry for your loss We lost my dad four years ago and I know my mother has had a hard time. But time does help. And I do so hope things go/went well at the board hearing. I am praying for you

 

[sunflower2007]

Lucy,

I have no idea what you must be going through. I have never gone through anything similar. I pray that God will comfort you and give you strength to go on.
Something to remember is that you did not "lose" your husband. He is safe with Jesus and he is still alive. He is no longer in pain and he is rejoicing.
Have you read any books by people who have gone to heaven and come back? I read one by Don Piper called 90 Minutes in Heaven and another one by Howard Storm called My Descent into Death. You may be able to find these at your library. I would recommend that you read them. They should help you to see what it is like in heaven for your husband. They are really fascinating and encouraging stories.

Cry out to the Lord. He is your strength. He will help you to get through this. He is with you always. You are precious in His sight. He loves you. Cast all your cares on Him.

Psalm 56:8
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.


Hebrews 13:5a-6
"I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you," so that we confidently say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?"

Isaiah 40:11
Like a shepherd He will tend His flock,
In His arm He will gather the lambs
And carry them in His bosom;
He will gently lead the nursing ewes.

Ps 34:18
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Ps 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

Revelation 21:3-5
"Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new."


If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.