NEW VIRUS WARNING

[Snowy]

DANGER​

NEW VIRUS WARNING​

DANGER​

If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.

It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.

Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, and it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid. PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!

VirusCentral

 

[ChristianTeen]

LOL!

That is really funny. Hopefully a virus never gets that powerful in the future!

 

[Xgthug]

I don't have an ex-girlfriend and I don't have a
credit card or fishtank.
Heh...

 

[Teen4Jesus]

LOL!!!

 

[satman]

INSTALLING LOVE
> >
> >Tech Support: Yes, Ma'am.... how can I help you?
> >
> >Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install
> >Love. Can you guide me though the process?
> >
> >Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
> >
> >Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What
> >do I do first?
> >
> >Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located
> >your Heart, ma'am?
> >
> >Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is
> >it okay to install Love while they are running?
> >
> >Tech Support: What programs are running, ma'am?
> >
> >Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and
> >Resentment running right now.
> >
> >Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from
> >your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory,
> >but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually
> >override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High
> >Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and
> >Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
> > Can you turn those off, ma'am?
> >
> >Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
> >
> >Tech Support : With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke
> >Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and
> >Resentment have been completely erased.
> >
> >Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that
> >normal?
> >
> >Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
> >You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the
upgrades.
> >
> >Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error -
> >Program not run on external components ." What should I do?
> >
> >Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am. It means that the Love program is
> >set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your
> >Heart. In non- technical terms, it simply means you have to Love
> >yourself before you can Love others.
> >
> >Customer: So, what should I do?
> >
> >Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following
> >files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your
Limitations.
> >
> >Customer: Okay, done.
> >
> >Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system
> >will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty
> >programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
> >directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
> >gone and never comes back.
> >
> >Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile
> >is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
> >themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
> >
> >Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually
> >everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and
> >running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure
> >to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in
> >turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
> >
> >Customer: Thank you, God.
> >
> >-- Author Unknown
God Bless....In HIS Service....Dan

 

[satman]

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and
thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
God Bless....In HIS Service....Dan

 

[ChristianTeen]

LOL

Those are good