New Relationship advices...

[Valentine10]

So I'm 17 years old and I just started dating a boy (from the same age) that's been my friend for more than 5 years. We are pretty much in love and I have no doubt this will be a long lasting relationship.

However, I am a Christian and he doesn't believe in God and isn't into any religion. I have a really strong connection with God and I always look forward to increase my faith and love for God. But what concerns me is that my boyfriend doesn't even believe. He absolutely respects my beliefs, but I wish he was devoted to God. He has changed a lot for me, he is very in love with me... How can I make him believe? I think it's very hard but I know it is possible; I know he loves me enough to let me help him believe in God, but I don't know how can I do that.

 

[Dave-W]

You CANNOT "make him a believer." That is strictly between him and God.

All you can do is:
1 - PRAY
2 - be an example of godly living
3 - NOT preach at him. (that will drive people away faster than a wild fire) You can share and give a reason for the hope and joy you have, but don't shove it down his throat.

Anyway - welcome to the forums!!

 

[dayhiker]

I agree that you can't make him believe.

Generally the church, as you probably know, discourages falling in love with a non-believer. So often guys have faked things to get a girl he loves.
I'd seen that many times.

I guess the thing that I would say to do is to ask and understand why he doesn't believer in God. Does he believe in a mechanistic world .. ie no spirit or soul?

 

[evoeth]

How can I make him believe?

You can't. I can't even make my wife put away her dishes.

 

[evoeth]

Generally the church...

This statement is very confusing as there is no singular church, and different Christian sects have very different opinions on cross religion relationships.

 

[dayhiker]

This statement is very confusing as there is no singular church, and different Christian sects have very different opinions on cross religion relationships.

When I use the term church singularly I'm referring to the one universal church. The one Jesus said he would create. I'm sure that we can find a local church or denomination that doesn't teach that Christians should only marry other Christians. I do think that enough churches teach or at least encourage their members to marry other Christians that I can use the word generally and be accurate.

 

[evoeth]

When I use the term church singularly I'm referring to the one universal church. The one Jesus said he would create.

I still do not understand this, because there are thousands of denominations that all claim that mantle.

 

[katasamu]

So I'm 17 years old and I just started dating a boy (from the same age) that's been my friend for more than 5 years. We are pretty much in love and I have no doubt this will be a long lasting relationship.



However, I am a Christian and he doesn't believe in God and isn't into any religion. I have a really strong connection with God and I always look forward to increase my faith and love for God. But what concerns me is that my boyfriend doesn't even believe. He absolutely respects my beliefs, but I wish he was devoted to God. He has changed a lot for me, he is very in love with me... How can I make him believe? I think it's very hard but I know it is possible; I know he loves me enough to let me help him believe in God, but I don't know how can I do that.

This vers came to my mind when i read your problem... maybe it helps you . ...(i know that you are not married but doesn't matter.)
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife.

Ps.:sorry for my english, i am hungarian...

 

[JAM2b]

This statement is very confusing as there is no singular church, and different Christian sects have very different opinions on cross religion relationships.

I think what dayhiker is referring to is based directly from Scripture, and is very plainly stated and uderstood, so it isn't really a denomination issue, but an overall Christian issue.

2 Corinthians 6:14 says not to be "unequally yoked"...married to a non-believer.

From personal experience, it only invites problems into your life and for your children.

 

[JAM2b]

Ps.:sorry for my english, i am hungarian...

I think your English is great!

 

[redblue22]

I do not know what you can do. But I wonder, does he even know what you believe?

You might ask him sometime what he thinks it is that you believe.

 

[Sketcher]

You can't make him believe. We don't do that (John 6:44). He might love you enough to give your beliefs a chance, but that's not the same as him actually converting and pledging his life to following Jesus.

You need to know why you believe what you believe, you need to be able to explain why it is true. And you need to consistently apply all of the teachings of the faith. The more you do that, the better a witness you will be for him.

 

[Deidre32]

I think that these relationships can work, so long as the person who doesn't believe doesn't try to sway you away from your beliefs. The Bible speaks about not being ''unequally yoked,'' but it seems like that means we shouldn't let non-believers move us away from our beliefs. It sounds like you have known each other a while, so doubt this will happen. But, just be careful to not let your love for him cause you to compromise your beliefs. And likewise, don't push your beliefs on him. Good luck to you both.

 

[amazinggrace94]

My SO and I have some close friends in this situation...

Personally, I think at this point of your relationship it is okay if he's not a Christian. There is nothing you can do to "make him one"-that is between him and God.

I would definitely advise you to pray for him, and talk with him about his beliefs. If going to church together is important to you, maybe see if he would be open to attending with you one day. You never know how God can move in and through a person. Love him, support him, and see where the relationship goes.

I would more hesitant if the relationship was more serious and moving toward engagement (re: equally yoked). But I wouldn't worry about that right now.

 

[faroukfarouk]

My SO and I have some close friends in this situation...

Personally, I think at this point of your relationship it is okay if he's not a Christian. There is nothing you can do to "make him one"-that is between him and God.

I would definitely advise you to pray for him, and talk with him about his beliefs. If going to church together is important to you, maybe see if he would be open to attending with you one day. You never know how God can move in and through a person. Love him, support him, and see where the relationship goes.

I would more hesitant if the relationship was more serious and moving toward engagement (re: equally yoked). But I wouldn't worry about that right now.

It's easy to be influenced greatly by individuals; and it's good always to make sure that God's expressed will in His Word is honored by those relationships.

 

[Senkaku]

hmm...17, you still have so much ahead of you in life. I'll say if your relationship with God is more important, than don't risk it, there are plenty of good Godly men out there. If having a relationship is more important, than go with him. Check your heart here, do you want to be with him because you are afraid that you may not find anyone else? or may not even find a good Godly guy? are you afraid of being alone? are you not willing to wait for God's timing? this is something you have to approach sincerely and honestly, not for anyone else, but for yourself. Hope this helps

 

[mark kennedy]

So I'm 17 years old and I just started dating a boy (from the same age) that's been my friend for more than 5 years. We are pretty much in love and I have no doubt this will be a long lasting relationship.

However, I am a Christian and he doesn't believe in God and isn't into any religion. I have a really strong connection with God and I always look forward to increase my faith and love for God. But what concerns me is that my boyfriend doesn't even believe. He absolutely respects my beliefs, but I wish he was devoted to God. He has changed a lot for me, he is very in love with me... How can I make him believe? I think it's very hard but I know it is possible; I know he loves me enough to let me help him believe in God, but I don't know how can I do that.

Ok, first of all you don't make anyone believe, you share the gospel and unless God opens his eyes he is spiritually blind. The Scriptures are clear we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, meaning simply that we are not to marry them. That said, I would suggest you simply share your faith with him and if he is indifferent perhaps you should emphasis that your faith is very important to you and you have to know where he stands on the issue. I'm pretty sure, you'll know what to do after that.

Grace and peace,
Mark