New memories, why now?

[healing princess]

Today has been hard, I just want it to stop. I thought I was getting better, starting to heal. Then today while at the park with my kids, I had terrible flash backs. I remember things that I had forgotten about. Why? What good does it do me to remember the bad things? I know I was sexually abused by my step father for 10 years of my childhood. I know that it has been over 20 years since then and I have been trying to heal now. I have been in therapy and on depression medicine for almost 2 years now. I thought I was getting better, you know understanding that the abuse was not me. That it doesn't define who I am as a person. It was something horrible that happened to me, but not my fault.

Then today while walking on the walking trail at the park (woods around), I remembered that when I was a kid we would go camping in the woods. I remember the kids were playing and I can remember hearing them laughing. I had to be quiet or someone would hear, he was horrible! I was so scared and wanted to run but couldn't. It was awful and I felt today all the panic and fear I had as a child.

Please tell me it will stop one day. Please pray for me.

 

[Criada]

I hate those times!
You are on a journey, sweetie, and it's a very difficult one.
I think when new memories come up it's because our mind knows that we are healing and we can deal with things that we couldn't have before. That doesn't make it any easier, I know.
It will end, one day you will have worked through all the memories and be able to leave them behind. Every memory that surfaces is one more that you and God can face and put away, one more step on the path to healing.

Take good care of yourself, sweetie - and talk to your therapist about it if you can
I'm praying that God will wrap you up in His arms and fill you with His peace and comfort.
If you need to talk, PM me anytime. I'm on the same journey, and sometimes it helps to share