New Here

[ramblingmusings]

Hi...I'm not normally one for too much forum posting (I used to be around 10 years ago when I was a mod on a depression support board) but I wanted to join and introduce myself.

I am a very new Christian. I started exploring a bit when I was a teenager living with my parents (not the best!) but soon gave up (my mother saying that "religion was banned" when she was supposed to be a Baptist was one reason) although I have always been a bit inquisitive. During the past year or so, thanks to a few friends, I have explored again and have become a Christian although have not told my husband properly yet (he has his moments and not being the best too!). So I'm working my way through the NT, trying to force out feelings of not being good enough to be a Christian etc (there's a lot of those).

Anyway, I've been a self injurer for about the last 10 years (from when I was around 14/15 - I'm now 25). I stopped for a while just before I met my husband in 2001 but then came back to it on and off in times of stress. Since February last year, I've come back to it in a big way, just as strong as before. So am really trying to fight the urges, but it is so hard. And trying to find and explore God too, and battle the general effects of depression (have never really been on meds, can't afford therapy even if I thought it would help!).

Am keeping a blog about my battles with SI and finding faith mainly to try and have an outlet for my battles with both issues that I can't really outlet anywhere else. Really struggling to *feel* God, which of course brings all the doubts of "maybe I was right, I am not good enough". The usual!

So anyway, I just wanted to say hello!

Annie, UK

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Hi Annie

Welcome!
I couldn't afford counseling either but I found a church that offers counseling for free, they have a social worker who does it.
I've only been once but I know it is the right thing for me to do and its great that she's going to use Biblical principals in my therapy.
Are there any churches near you that you can contact to see if they offer counseling sessions?

Don't worry about being good enough, none of us deserve salvation, it is only by God's grace, mercy and love that Jesus died for us and rose again so we can have eternal life and Christ living in us.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I forgot to say in my reply that, I don't think, many people 'feel' God's presence too often, I know I don't. But that's when we need to read the Bible and believe God when He says that He is always with us, its something I have to do often, especially when I'm depressed. *BIG HUG*

 

[Criada]

Welcome!
i'd like to echo what Silver said... no-one is 'good enough' for God... that's why we need Jesus. I struggle with faith, and with SI. This is a very supportive and friendly place, I hope that you can find help in your battles and fellowship here