New here and need support

[rburdge84]

Hey guys I'm new here but not new to the faith. I grew up baptist and have been in church my whole life. Although I will say I have not always practiced it. Until I met my ex. When we first met we were very worldly and was in a very worldly relationship. After 4 months in it we seriously wanted to pursue Christ and me growing up a Christian I compensated on my beliefs to be with girls in the past and when I met her who really wanted to change her life and live for Christ I fell more in love with her. She was such a blessing to me and brought me so much closer to God. We talked a lot about spending a future together and we both made each other happy. Unfortunately we split up because she felt I was able to lead her like the man is supposed to. As much as it pains me to say this I know she is right. I relied on her and to know I was this cause of this hurts so bad. She says God has something better for us. I want to believe that so much and it's hard because I invested so much of myself and my trust in her. I also am upset because I know I truly lost a real woman of God. I was not the leader like I should and I know I use this as a crutch but growing up I saw my mother being the leader over my dad my whole life which I know has some to do with it. Guys I joined here because I need help badly to keep my faith in the lord. I'm so upset with the breaking up of my ex. I have taken her advice and am trying now to be a man of God. Stand up for my beliefs and do what God has called men to do. I bought the book the resolution for men based off the movie courageous to help get me in the mindset of being a godly man. I don't have a lot of male role models to look up to. It's so hard to be that way in this life. That's why I loved my ex so much is because she could live that way and it made me lover her so much more for that. I want to be like her I want to live that way without the fear or rejection. Please give me sound advice and no sugar coated answers. I need this forum for encouragement and to know there are others out there to help me when I'm in need. Thank you Guys.​

 

[civilwarbuff]

Hey guys I'm new here but not new to the faith. I grew up baptist and have been in church my whole life. Although I will say I have not always practiced it. Until I met my ex. When we first met we were very worldly and was in a very worldly relationship. After 4 months in it we seriously wanted to pursue Christ and me growing up a Christian I compensated on my beliefs to be with girls in the past and when I met her who really wanted to change her life and live for Christ I fell more in love with her. She was such a blessing to me and brought me so much closer to God. We talked a lot about spending a future together and we both made each other happy. Unfortunately we split up because she felt I was able to lead her like the man is supposed to. As much as it pains me to say this I know she is right. I relied on her and to know I was this cause of this hurts so bad. She says God has something better for us. I want to believe that so much and it's hard because I invested so much of myself and my trust in her. I also am upset because I know I truly lost a real woman of God. I was not the leader like I should and I know I use this as a crutch but growing up I saw my mother being the leader over my dad my whole life which I know has some to do with it. Guys I joined here because I need help badly to keep my faith in the lord. I'm so upset with the breaking up of my ex. I have taken her advice and am trying now to be a man of God. Stand up for my beliefs and do what God has called men to do. I bought the book the resolution for men based off the movie courageous to help get me in the mindset of being a godly man. I don't have a lot of male role models to look up to. It's so hard to be that way in this life. That's why I loved my ex so much is because she could live that way and it made me lover her so much more for that. I want to be like her I want to live that way without the fear or rejection. Please give me sound advice and no sugar coated answers. I need this forum for encouragement and to know there are others out there to help me when I'm in need. Thank you Guys.​

Welcome to CF...I am considerably older than you but if you would like to pick what little is left of my brain, be my guest....

 

[rburdge84]

Your opinions?

 

[civilwarbuff]

Let me ask some questions....

I grew up baptist and have been in church my whole life. Although I will say I have not always practiced it. Until I met my ex. When we first met we were very worldly and was in a very worldly relationship.

Guessing this was a sexual relationship....and you "justified" it to yourself in one way or another? (not being judgemental...been down that road myself).

After 4 months in it we seriously wanted to pursue Christ and me growing up a Christian I compensated on my beliefs to be with girls in the past and when I met her who really wanted to change her life and live for Christ I fell more in love with her. She was such a blessing to me and brought me so much closer to God.

How did she bring you closer to God and how did you respond to that....?...in what ways?

Unfortunately we split up because she felt I was able to lead her like the man is supposed to.

Did she try to change her life and live for Christ?...if so, in what way?

Unfortunately we split up because she felt I was able to lead her like the man is supposed to. As much as it pains me to say this I know she is right. I relied on her and to know I was this cause of this hurts so bad.

Did she explain this to you in so many words?....

Take your time.....

 

[rburdge84]

Yes she did, she began to stop hanging around the friends that brought her down, being more involved in church, and yes I responded in it as enjoying it by going to sermons and doing studies of our own. She explained to me how my friends weren't the best influence and she was right because they lead me down a sinful road. She explained that I was not leading her. By that I mean some instances I would listen to music that wasn't appropriate and movies that were rated R and I didn't see a problem with it as long as that was not my sole purpose was to rebel. I see how that's wrong

 

[civilwarbuff]

It seems what is being focused on here are the external "trappings" of being a Christian...movies, music, friends, sermons, bible(?) studies instead of focusing on faith, prayer, opening oneself to God's will not ours. You don't say if you/she are saved in the protestant sense of the word or not. I assume you are baptized (since you are Baptist). Have you confessed your sins and accepted Messiah? Are you filled with the Holy Spirit? If the answer is yes, you are on the right path. If no or not sure you have some work to do. Find someone within your church that you see as a man of God (not the pastor) who can mentor you, give you spiritual guidance and advice; evaluate that advice with the help of the Holy Spirit and you will be heading in the right direction.

 

[Winken]

John 14:6, John 3:16-17, John 5:24, Romans 10:8-13. He loves you and sustains you. All the "stuff" in your life needs to get out of the way.

Thanks to civilwarbuff for leading the way.

 

[rburdge84]

Thanks for the advice. I am filled with the holy spirit when I spend time with God, when I backslide I feel my convictions don't speak to me as strongly

 

[civilwarbuff]

The HS is with you in the good times but most especially in the bad times....when He is needed the most. He is always there gently urging us to turn around and return to the Father. Sometimes, as in my own case, it takes a while and we make many mistakes....but always there is the nudging to get right with God.

 

[Jesus' Follower]

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