New Annulment Rule

[churl]

I read the following today:

Before accepting a request to begin an annulment procedure, the document said, a judge (assigned from the Catholic Church) must "employ pastoral means" to try to convince the husband and wife to stay in their marriage and "re-establish conjugal life." "If this cannot be done," it said, "the judge is to urge the spouses to work together sincerely, putting aside any personal desire and living the truth in charity, in order to arrive at the objective truth, as the very nature of a marriage cause demands."


My question is this. I was in an abusive marriage, do you think that I will be required to try to work this out and get back with him? I will be devistated if so!

 

[geocajun]

churl, without knowing the intricate details of your marriage, no one will be able to respond with any real accuracy.
Also, I would suggest you not divulge the details of it here, and you talk to a priest.

 

[Cat59]

Hi Churl and welcome to OBOB! Geo is right, the whole matter of annulments is very complex and we could inadvertently give you wrong advice here. The best way to proceed is to bring your worries and concerns up with your priest.

 

[RedTulipMom]

Both i and my ex husband are remarried to other people and we both have kids with those other people. Even though the church dont acknowledge both our second marriages they must acknowledge the children right? So there is no way they would think of trying to get us back together if i applied for an anulment would they?
karen

 

[Truth and Reconciliation]

My question is this. I was in an abusive marriage, do you think that I will be required to try to work this out and get back with him? I will be devistated if so!

Let me twist the question and ask it in another form, "If an infant is the product of rape/incest, then should it be aborted?"

Marriage - analogous to life - is sacred no matter what the case may be. What is impossible for man is not impossible for Christ.

 

[RhetorTheo]

I heard on the news last night that the Vatican was going to crack down on the easy annulments. Sounds like it's not that at all. The question is whether these people have a valid marriage to begin with.

 

[Annabel Lee]

Marriage - analogous to life - is sacred no matter what the case may be. What is impossible for man is not impossible for Christ.

There is nothing sacred in a marriage in where a woman is beaten. Once a man lays a violent hand on his wife, he has broken the marriage vows.

 

[geocajun]

Both i and my ex husband are remarried to other people and we both have kids with those other people. Even though the church dont acknowledge both our second marriages they must acknowledge the children right? So there is no way they would think of trying to get us back together if i applied for an anulment would they?
karen

Karen, what do you mean by 'aknowledge the children' ?

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

A woman who is abused is free to divorce her spouse (divorce is after all merely legal). An annulment may only be granted, howeber, if the marriage was invalid to begin with-- for example the spouse threatened to kill his wife if she refused to marry, or she felt that there was a threat, or mentall defect was present, impeding full freedom and understanding of the sacrament.

So people can get divorced- and in cases of physical abuse, substance abuse, etc-- that can even be the right thing to do--- but that doesn't automatically mean they are free to marry another person....

 

[RedTulipMom]

I heard on the news last night that the Vatican was going to crack down on the easy annulments. Sounds like it's not that at all. The question is whether these people have a valid marriage to begin with.

there shouldnt be any easy anulments to begin with! or theres something wrong!
karen

 

[thereselittleflower]

Let me twist the question and ask it in another form, "If an infant is the product of rape/incest, then should it be aborted?"

Marriage - analogous to life - is sacred no matter what the case may be. What is impossible for man is not impossible for Christ.

Marriage is to be sacred, however, the reasons that annulments are given is because particular marriages failed to be so . . . they were not sacramental to begin with for instance. . .

I think that reason and prudence must be applied to situations such as you are asking about churl . . . obviously, the Church would not want to put person in jeaphordy . . . It seems to me that this new rule is designed to deal more with those who just want to give up on their marraige, and it is saying counseiling, which is in fact what this amounts to, must be employed if possible . .

Obviously, there are situations where such counseling is not appropriate . . .

But there are situation where such counseling would be . . . .


Peace in Him!

 

[Maggie893]

I think this is the document referred to:

http://www.wf-f.org/BN_DignitasConnubii.html

In closing, Cardinal Herranz confirmed that in the context of a "divorcist" mentality, "even canonical nullity hearings can easily be misinterpreted, as if they were nothing more than ways to obtain a divorce with the apparent approval of the Church." The difference between annulment and divorce would thus be "purely nominal, and by the skillful manipulation of causes of nullity, all failed marriages would be nullified." By contrast, the Roman Pontiffs "have often expressed the true sense of nullity of marriage, inseparable from the search for truth because the declaration of nullity does not mean dissolving an existing bond, but rather the recognition, in the name of the Church, of the nonexistence of a true marriage right from the beginning. Moreover, the Church favors the validation of nullified marriages when this is possible. John Paul II explained it in these words: 'The spouses themselves must be the first to realize that only in the loyal quest for the truth can they find their true good, without excluding a priori the possible validation of a union that, although it is not yet a sacramental marriage, contains elements of good, for themselves and their children, that should be carefully evaluated in conscience before reaching a different decision'." (Address to the Roman Rota, January 28, 2002).

Also on the subject of the search for truth in hearings on the nullity of marriage, Archbishop Angelo Amato S.D.B. highlighted the fact that article 65, para. 2 of the Instruction states that the judge must urge the parties to a sincere search for the truth. If he does not manage to bring the spouses to validate their marriage and re-establish conjugal life "the judge is to urge the spouses to work together sincerely, putting aside any personal desire and living the truth in charity, in order to arrive at the objective truth, as the very nature of a marriage cause demands."

Also of interest is this:
He then gave some statistics for the year 2002: of the 56,236 ordinary hearings for a declaration of nullity, 46,092 received an affirmative sentence. Of these, 343 were handed out in Africa, 676 in Oceania, 1,562 in Asia, 8,855 in Europe and 36,656 in America, of which 30,968 in North America and 5,688 in Central and South America.

 

[Michelina]

My question is this. I was in an abusive marriage, do you think that I will be required to try to work this out and get back with him?

No. Don't worry about that happenning, Churl. These people are professional and have years of experience.

 

[RedTulipMom]

Karen, what do you mean by 'aknowledge the children' ?

quoted from the original post in this thread:
" document said, a judge (assigned from the Catholic Church) must "employ pastoral means" to try to convince the husband and wife to stay in their marriage and "re-establish conjugal life."

When i said though they dont acknowledge my second marriage wont they acknowledge the children i was talking about the above quote. In other words i was saying, since both my ex and i have children with new marriage partners in our case would they NOT try to convince us to re-establish conjugal life? I have been married to my second husband for almost 9 yrs. We have an 8 mos old baby together. My ex husband has been remarried for 4 yrs and has 2 children with his new wife, a 2 yr old and a 1 mo old baby. So if i were to apply for annulment they would acknowledge all these children and not try to convince me to go back to my ex husband and kick out his wife and children and re-establish a conjugal life correct?? Now you understand my question clearly?

karen

 

[seebs]

I have hundreds and hundreds of questions about annulments, but I'm always afraid to ask them for fear that they'll be seen as hostile, whether to the Church or to its members. Bleh.

I must say, the basic advice -- try to reconcile if you can -- seems very good, and I certainly worry that Americans are perhaps a little quick to declare a relationship finished.

 

[tjboie2001]

I heard that they just don't give you an annulment. There has to be some very serious issues for them to give you one.

 

[jukesk9]

There is nothing sacred in a marriage in where a woman is beaten. Once a man lays a violent hand on his wife, he has broken the marriage vows.

I agree with this. My sister-in-law was getting the snot knocked out of her. When I saw her whole left side of her face bruised, I cried. It was awful. I'm glad she divorced him. She's happier and has found a new good man (a Catholic I might add. She went to Midnight Mass with us this year). Her children are far better off now too. When they were together, he'd hit her in front of the kids and yell at her calling her horrible names in front of the kids.

I get tired of people who don't know what it's like to be in a bad marriage and judge those who are in one saying things like they should really try to stay in it, etc. Walk a mile in someone else's moccasins before you judge them. Actually, leave the judging up to God.

 

[Maggie893]

I think it's important to remember that these "judges" are canonical judges not civil court judges. They are priests in the service of God and the Church. They are not seeking to destroy life but to encourage and uphold God's perfect plan for life. If you read the information on the new instructions it is about providing a more fair and expediant method of validating the nullity of a marriage.

"It is not a question," he said, "of absolute certainty, ... or purely subjective certainty, ... but of moral objective certainty, based objectively on the acts and the results of the proofs. In fact, according to the new norm, 'In order to declare the nullity of marriage there is required in the mind of the judge moral certainty of its nullity (art 247, para 1)'."

As Michelina said, "These people are professional and have years of experience."

The process of annulment is not to make a marriage null and void but to validate that it is and has been null and void.

I think you will find the "judges" to be both fair and merciful as our Lord is both fair and merciful.

 

[AdJesumPerMariam]

I agree with this. My sister-in-law was getting the snot knocked out of her. When I saw her whole left side of her face bruised, I cried. It was awful. I'm glad she divorced him. She's happier and has found a new good man (a Catholic I might add. She went to Midnight Mass with us this year). Her children are far better off now too. When they were together, he'd hit her in front of the kids and yell at her calling her horrible names in front of the kids.

I get tired of people who don't know what it's like to be in a bad marriage and judge those who are in one saying things like they should really try to stay in it, etc. Walk a mile in someone else's moccasins before you judge them. Actually, leave the judging up to God.

 

[jukesk9]

I think it's important to remember that these "judges" are canonical judges not civil court judges. They are priests in the service of God and the Church. They are not seeking to destroy life but to encourage and uphold God's perfect plan for life. If you read the information on the new instructions it is about providing a more fair and expediant method of validating the nullity of a marriage.

"It is not a question," he said, "of absolute certainty, ... or purely subjective certainty, ... but of moral objective certainty, based objectively on the acts and the results of the proofs. In fact, according to the new norm, 'In order to declare the nullity of marriage there is required in the mind of the judge moral certainty of its nullity (art 247, para 1)'."

As Michelina said, "These people are professional and have years of experience."

The process of annulment is not to make a marriage null and void but to validate that it is and has been null and void.

I think you will find the "judges" to be both fair and merciful as our Lord is both fair and merciful.

I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about posters and people in general. Thanks for trying though.