new and really low

[brinkjen453]

Hey all,
I am new to the network. I am looking for friends. I am feeling really low today, and just want some friends to talk to.

I have been dx Bipolar for 5 years. I had been very unstable up to a year ago, when I became remarkably stable. That was until about 4 months ago. I became unstable again, and actually was hospitalized. I was gaining stability again and now just feel low. I know it is nature of the illness that even when you are stable to exhibit some highs some lows. I just feel really low today though.

 

[sherr33]

Brinkjen453,
Welcome to the Board! We are glad that you are here. You can talk to me. Please also check out our website.
http://jerichoroad.freewebtools.com
If you need to talk I am here for you.
Sherr33

 

[brinkjen453]

Thanks Sherr,
I have been feeling low for a few days, and actually have had some suicidal thoughts, but I know that it is not in God's will for me to kill myself, so I am just going to get through this I always have.....
I think that my meds are fine, it is just all the stress in my life ahhhh!!!
That is why I don't think hospitalization would do any good, just cause more stress with bills and time away from everything.

 

[Laridy]

Brinkjen,
Hi, I'm pretty new, too. I'v only been on this board a week but I've really found a lot of wise help and friendly voices here. I know this may sound silly, but something I did when I knew I couldn't go back to the hospital but I was having suicidal thoughts was to mentally place that part of myself that was feeling like that in a mind construct of a safe zone in a hospital. I'd staff it with the best of nurses and therapist and treat myself to the kindest of care. I'd reach out to talk to others, church, little ol' ladies, small children, read Scripture, play praise music, take a warm bath, and just pamper myself like doing my toenails or something. I'd also write alot. Just be your own best hospital. If the feelings don't subside, and get strong call for help. Your life is much more important than bills! Do you know that as long as you are making an attempt to pay them even $2-5/month then medical billers have to accept that. They may harrass you for more, but if that's all you have, they can't get milk out of a turnip. Your life is precious to God, and you deserve to live. Please take care of yourself. If I can help, let me know. I've been at this for 25 years now. Its definately been worth the battle.

Laridy

 

[sherr33]

Brinkjen453,
You are correct that it is not God's will.
I am more then willing to listen to you and do what I can to help you.
I am praying for you

 

[FragileWinter]

Brinkjen453, you have a lot of people here, including me, that are here for you. You can talk to me anytime, if you don't mind the fact I'm kinda young...but I really mean that you can talk with me anytime.

Also, I've been doing some research about bipolar and creativity. Creative activities tend to help it and most people who are bipolar are creative in at least one way. Like Laridy said use your creative talent when you are hurting and in need, it has helped me many times.

Sending prayers and hugs, Aya

 

[Alive again]

Father God reach out and comfort brinkjen453. Lord, wrap brinkjen453 in your arms and keep brinkjen453 safe in the shadow of your wings. Lord pour out your Holy Spirit to bring brinkjen453 comfort and peace. Father God war against the enemy who tries to destroy brinkjen453 and take captive each thought in Christ Jesus. Lord give brinkjen453 and the provider wisdom in treating this illness and give brinkjen453 a new understanding of just how beloved he/she is to you!!! Father God reach into this situation and bring godd out of it, give brinkjen453 a reminder that you have a desire for good in his/her life and have a plan with a future and a hope!!! Utilize this time to bring a blessing into the l;ife of this precious chld of yours. Help resolve the stressful issues in brinkjen453's life in a way that brings glory to your name and peace to his/her soul! In Jesus' name, Amen

 

[angelkiss]

Hi and welcome to the forum
So sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. It's hard going through these episodes and feeling that you're back is against the wall, but do know, we care and are here for you.
Many prayers going up for you,
s and es!!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Hang in there you'll be alright, life is worth going through feeling low, because it always gets better, just try to do what you can to stay out of the hospital you don't want to give them money when you can treat yourself, but if you can't treat yourself, you got to go to the hospital.

Right now it sounds like you don't got to go.

 

[Laridy]

Amen to that prayer for Brinkjen!!

Laridy

 

[Alaskamomma]

And hello from me. I am sorry to hear you are at the low of the spectrum of the disorder. I, too, would welcome a talk with you. I will be on and off the computer today and will check this thread.

I am kinda coasting right now. My daughter is in a child psych ward and has been for a week. They are re-evaluating her to see if she bipolar or if it is a behavorial disorder. In the meantime, it is hard to be away from her. So, I know low.

 

[angelkiss]

And hello from me. I am sorry to hear you are at the low of the spectrum of the disorder. I, too, would welcome a talk with you. I will be on and off the computer today and will check this thread.

I am kinda coasting right now. My daughter is in a child psych ward and has been for a week. They are re-evaluating her to see if she bipolar or if it is a behavorial disorder. In the meantime, it is hard to be away from her. So, I know low.

Prayers going up for you and your daughter as well.
s and es!!

 

[FragileWinter]

Same as above, praying really hard for your daughter and you. Keep holding on.

 

[Alaskamomma]

Thanks ladies. I really appreciate it. It has been hard cause when we go to see her she wants to come home and she cries and screams at us. (heartbreaking to say the least) My mind wanders towards her all day and I am doing my best not to ignore the other 4 in my family. So thanks for the prayers... they are needed. (sorry to hijack thread)

 

[angelkiss]

Thanks ladies. I really appreciate it. It has been hard cause when we go to see her she wants to come home and she cries and screams at us. (heartbreaking to say the least) My mind wanders towards her all day and I am doing my best not to ignore the other 4 in my family. So thanks for the prayers... they are needed. (sorry to hijack thread)

I have a little 7-year-old foster brother who is in evaluation as well. He was told he'd only be in there for 14 days, and even counted down the days. Sadly, they said he wasn't ready and sent him to a different facility. When the social workers talk to him, they say that he only asks about my family. He asks nothing of his biological family. He wants to come back. Hopefully, they'll let him in due time, but it's really heart-breaking when you have to sit back and can't do anything but wait and think about him. The first time we went to visit him afore his move, we took him hi Scooby Doo to offer some comfort. They wouldn't let him have it. It broke my heart to have to take it back home. I couldn't imagine if it was my own child.
s and es!!

 

[Smootalizer]

Hello, my name is Corey Smoot. I really want to get stright to the point so here I go. One day my wife tried to cast a demon out of me. I thought maybe she was trying to be too deep off into casting out demons so I paid it no attention. Don't get me wrong I was upset, but I didn't think of it as something was mentally wrong with my wife. Two weeks later she tried this again, but it was really worse. In fact my mom and hers had to come to our house. She tried to do the same thing to my mother. Once we were able to calm her down, we talked and prayed. She seemed alright. After they left , my wife seem to become very polite and this lasted troughout the night. At about 3 in the morning, she woke up talking to voices. She wanted to have sex, se, and more sex. She wanted to study the bible and wouldn't go back to sleep unless the lights were on. Around 7:00 she was afraid that something happened to her mother. She told me her sister told said her mother was ill. I called and her sister said she never told my wife that and that their mother was fine. She then wanted to leave the house, but I would not let her. Our daughter started crying because of all the noise. I went to go get her and when I came out the room my wife was gone. She ran through the neighborhood beating on doors and eventually stole someone's car. She was riding around for hours until she finally went to her mother's house. From there we took her to the hospital and from there she was admitted into a mental institution. She was there for six days, diagnosed as bipolar, and was released. She was on Depakote. The meds were so strong she could not function. I opended the capsules and began decreasing her dosage until she could function. She would now begin to say the meds were making her sick. We talked to her psychiatrist and he filled a prescription for another med. The day we were to pick it up she claims God healed her in the shower and was not to take anymore meds. She stayed away from home that night with her mother. since then she has had probems with the police and has been acting really strange around the house and in public. She refuses to take meds and her family is in denial that anything is wrong with her. My wife and her family believes my wife is under demonic attack. There have been many other problems especiaaly in our marriage. To force her into seeking help I filed for divorce. This doesn't seem to be working either because now I am the blame for her condition. I've suddenly been identified as abusive and controlling. It has been alleged that I used my counseling skills to convince the doctors that my wife is bipolar. My wife still believes she is under demonic attack and states that she is only going to the doctor not to lose custody. I was not really trying to get a divorce, but get her help. However, if she does not follow treatment then a divorce may have to be the answer. My wife can no longer tend to our daughter the way she used to. She feeds her garlic salt to cure our daughter's allergies, she believes our daughter has vaginal problems, health problems, and many more other problems. I had to call the police on her one time for having our daughter in hot water to cure her allergies. And much much more. She hallucinates and can't concentrate. She still sees demons. What do I do?

 

[brinkjen453]

Thank you all. I am feeling much better today. I just had a really bad day yesterday with too much stress. You are all great.

 

[angelkiss]

Thank you all. I am feeling much better today. I just had a really bad day yesterday with too much stress. You are all great.

So glad you're feeling better today.
May God bless and keep you always!
s and es!!

 

[FragileWinter]

I have a little 7-year-old foster brother who is in evaluation as well. He was told he'd only be in there for 14 days, and even counted down the days. Sadly, they said he wasn't ready and sent him to a different facility. When the social workers talk to him, they say that he only asks about my family. He asks nothing of his biological family. He wants to come back. Hopefully, they'll let him in due time, but it's really heart-breaking when you have to sit back and can't do anything but wait and think about him. The first time we went to visit him afore his move, we took him hi Scooby Doo to offer some comfort. They wouldn't let him have it. It broke my heart to have to take it back home. I couldn't imagine if it was my own child.
s and es!!

When I read this I cried. I'm so sorry and I'm here if you need anything. I'll be praying.

Hello, my name is Corey Smoot. I really want to get stright to the point so here I go. One day my wife tried to cast a demon out of me. I thought maybe she was trying to be too deep off into casting out demons so I paid it no attention. Don't get me wrong I was upset, but I didn't think of it as something was mentally wrong with my wife. Two weeks later she tried this again, but it was really worse. In fact my mom and hers had to come to our house. She tried to do the same thing to my mother. Once we were able to calm her down, we talked and prayed. She seemed alright. After they left , my wife seem to become very polite and this lasted troughout the night. At about 3 in the morning, she woke up talking to voices. She wanted to have sex, se, and more sex. She wanted to study the bible and wouldn't go back to sleep unless the lights were on. Around 7:00 she was afraid that something happened to her mother. She told me her sister told said her mother was ill. I called and her sister said she never told my wife that and that their mother was fine. She then wanted to leave the house, but I would not let her. Our daughter started crying because of all the noise. I went to go get her and when I came out the room my wife was gone. She ran through the neighborhood beating on doors and eventually stole someone's car. She was riding around for hours until she finally went to her mother's house. From there we took her to the hospital and from there she was admitted into a mental institution. She was there for six days, diagnosed as bipolar, and was released. She was on Depakote. The meds were so strong she could not function. I opended the capsules and began decreasing her dosage until she could function. She would now begin to say the meds were making her sick. We talked to her psychiatrist and he filled a prescription for another med. The day we were to pick it up she claims God healed her in the shower and was not to take anymore meds. She stayed away from home that night with her mother. since then she has had probems with the police and has been acting really strange around the house and in public. She refuses to take meds and her family is in denial that anything is wrong with her. My wife and her family believes my wife is under demonic attack. There have been many other problems especiaaly in our marriage. To force her into seeking help I filed for divorce. This doesn't seem to be working either because now I am the blame for her condition. I've suddenly been identified as abusive and controlling. It has been alleged that I used my counseling skills to convince the doctors that my wife is bipolar. My wife still believes she is under demonic attack and states that she is only going to the doctor not to lose custody. I was not really trying to get a divorce, but get her help. However, if she does not follow treatment then a divorce may have to be the answer. My wife can no longer tend to our daughter the way she used to. She feeds her garlic salt to cure our daughter's allergies, she believes our daughter has vaginal problems, health problems, and many more other problems. I had to call the police on her one time for having our daughter in hot water to cure her allergies. And much much more. She hallucinates and can't concentrate. She still sees demons. What do I do?

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I'm not sure what you should do but I'll pray that God gives you the wisdom to know what to do and peace to comfort you.

Thank you all. I am feeling much better today. I just had a really bad day yesterday with too much stress. You are all great.

That's wonderful to hear! I'm so happy to hear that you're doing better.
Aya

 

[Laridy]

Alaskamomma- I'll continue to pray for you and your daughter. I can only imagine how distracting and upsetting this situation could be. I know the Lord has you and your daughter in the palm of His Hand. Try to rest some in His care.

Anglekiss- My heart weeps for your foster brother and your family. If I a stranger could feel such; only imagine how much love and concern our Lord has for this little one of His. I'll be lifting this up in prayer.

Brinkjen- So glad to hear today's a little better. Hold on to the faith. Wishing you better days ahead. Please PM me if you need to talk.

Mr. Smoot- I'm so sorry you and your family is having to go through this. From the sound of things your wife may still need her medications adjusted if she's taking them. If she's not, which happens a lot w/ this disease she will probably continue to remain irrational. I will be praying for you and yours. Are you able to talk to her psychiatrist? She is seeing a psychiatrist and not just a general practioner I hope. Ask him/her for advise. Sometimes it can take a couple of years to find the right combo of meds to stabalize on, and that's if you take them regularly. If the person is resistant and stops and starts them it's harder. I don't want to discourage you but most of us have experienced this. I know when I first got diagnosed my family tried to put the blame on my husband because I started to have problems about 3 months after we married. Actually, he was one of my most stabalized forces that God put in my life. I think it's really hard when people try to confuse religion and illness. I'm grateful for the stronghold of my faith and although there were people on my path that tried to cast demons out of me, my husband recognized that I had a mental illness and I needed medical help and he guided me in a safe path of recovery. Not to say I didn't resist at times because I did, and sometimes still do. If you need to talk some more, please feel free to PM me. I'll be praying for you, your wife, and your daughter and the freedom to work out your difficulties without undue influence from families.

God Bless all,

Laridy