needing advice

[kimber1]

Actually i need advice as well as prayer.

I just found out yesterday that an old acquaitance of mine (my old bosses um...boyfriend) is in the final stages of AIDS. Yes, they are both homosexuals. I was just so disturbed by this because everything I've ever been taught tells me that this man, when he dies, will go to hell. And actually I was just in a debate about this very thing and looked up the scriptures that back this thought up.

This man is such a good and kind-hearted man and I hate knowing that he won't go to heaven. I mean, I understand that he chose this lifestyle but that doesn't make it any easier for me.
When I first heard the news my first thought was to jump in my car adn go witness to this man but then I was like, what am i going to say to him? He's laying there dying and from what i've been told is really suffering.

How would you go about witnessing to someone like this? How would pray for them other than to pray that God would ease his suffering? How do you console the family members once he dies (if he doesn't repent of this sin) knowing in your heart that he has gone to hell?

I made the comment to my husband about praying for his suffering to end and he brought up a good point. That while his suffering here on earth may end he's just going to another place where he'll suffer as well.

I'm lost as to what I should do and how I can help. Can anyone give me any advice on how to talk to him or pray for him? I would really appreciate it.

 

[kimber1]

Okay, now I'm confused further and really look forward to some help. My hubby also made the comment about teh "only unforgivable sin" being denying God. And that if that's the case then this man could still be forgiven for his sinful lifestyle as long as he were to accept Christ before he dies. This made me feel somewhat better but I still apprecioate some response!!

 

[altya]

Its really heartbreaking to know that there will be many good and kind-hearted man that will be lost forever – The only way to be saved is through Jesus, He said "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one goes to the Father except by Me.

I will pray that God will lead you how to deal with this guy, to said the right words on the right time and to bring to him peace and comford.

 

[wvmtnkid]

That is a hard situation, kimber. I, though, believe that while he is still breathing and in a sound mind, he is still able to repent and accept Jesus as his Saviour. Only the Lord can judge his heart.

Do you feel comfortable going to speak with this man and witnessing to him? My only advice would be to do so out of love, not saying that isn't how you would do it. I guess the tone of your witnessing would be a better word to use. I have been in the hospital and overheard "witnessing" to the effect of "If you don't turn from sin right this minute, you are going to burn in hell for eternity." While that may be the truth, I don't think that is the way to go about reaching someone for Jesus. I think going to pray with and for him and talking to him may open some doors for him to talk with you about Jesus. It may take more than one visit. But, as your signature states, never doubt the power of prayer.

And I will pray that God will give you the words and the strength and the courage to do his will in this situation. Let us know how it goes.

 

[ukok]

I pray that God will guide you. If it is His will that you visit this man then i pray that the LORD enables you to "reach" him with the words that come from you. It must be very difficult for you to know what to do. Could your husband go with you and offer emotional support - You may feel a little less anxious with hubbie at your side ?

I will pray for you in this matter.

 

[kimber1]

yea, i agree, i don't want to sit there and feel i'm "beating" this guy down while he's laying there suffering. I don't ahve a problem at all with going to see him whether it's alone or with someone (my best friend is who told me about him--we both worked with him) and she's a littel hesitant. I'm jsut more worried that my knowledge is not enough to help him. Meaning, i've never really led anyone to Christ before.

My pastor called me back though and said that if he is unsaved then yes, he would go to hell but even if he is saved and has continued living that lifestyle he must repent of that sin. I guess I should have asked the grander question then that okay say he SAYS that he's saved and doesn't see anything wrong with his lifestyle ...what then? Because that just goes against everything the Bible teaches IMO and I can't sit there and argue with someone who's dying.... But then again I guess people would say that if I lvoed this man as a christian should- that I would say whatever possible to help him see what he's doing is worng.

Man, this is such a touchy subject!! I just pray that GOd will give me the words to say b/c I'm kind of lost!

 

[GREG]

just pray for him and show support. I will pray about this....... also pray for you and your friend

 

[scaddigs]

Having never brought anyone to Christ either, I can't really advise you in that but, something has struck me in your posts. My communication skills are very lacking so, allow me to say that I in NO way mean to come off as judgmental or accusatory. Again, it's just my inability to express myself the way I'd like.
It seems that you are concentrating on 'THE' sin (homosexuality) as opposed to his simply being A SINNER. As we know, ALL have sinned & come short of the Glory of God. I think sometimes that christians in general, do the same thing re: homosexuality. We concentrate on THE sin in a way that we DON'T do with other sinners.
I think I would talk to him about his seperation from God because he is a SINNER (just like ANY other person who has never accepted Christ) as opposed to a HOMOSEXUAL sinner. Does that make sense?
God bless,
Lynn

edited to add: Just witness to him as you would to anyone else and allow GOD to convict him re: the sin areas in His life. God's Holy Spirit is able to do those things that are needed.

 

[kimber1]

thanks lynn! and i didn't take that as accusatory b/c i'm just really struggling with this whole thing. I mean, I was brought up that homosexuality was wrong, and abomination to God but if you read further it also says that drunkards, adulterers, etc won't inherit the kingdom of heaven either so where is the line drawn? my pastor basically told me that it's not so much the sin of homosexuality that's the problem- it's whether or not he's saved.

Because he brought up the only unforgivable sin too that i mentioned earlier and that all sin can be forgiven as long as you repent and ask God into your heart.

I just need to pray for the rihgt words to say to this man. I want to go see him so bad but I need to find out from my friend exactly where he lives adn all that so y'all just pray that I can bring this man to the Lord if he's not already cause I need all teh ehlp I can get!!

 

[scaddigs]

my pastor basically told me that it's not so much the sin of homosexuality that's the problem- it's whether or not he's saved.

See? That's what I mean about my communication. The essay I wrote could be said in ONE sentence! lol

Ask God for the words & to know WHEN to approach. He WILL guide you. Prayers lifted for you!

 

[ZiSunka]

There is a great book that will help you immensely!

It's called, "Someone I love is Gay" and you can get it from Focus on the Family or from www.amazon.com or www.christianbook.com.

I read this book when a good friend came out to me, and it helped me continue to love him and still be true to my faithin Christ. It even helped me talk to him about his need for Christ.

It's a good, easy to read book, too.

 

[Knight]

Here's my $0.20.

Don't argue.
Don't fight.
Don't accuse.
Don't condem.

Do offer the hope that is in Christ Jesus.
Do explain that the suffering in this world is insignificant to the glory waiting for those who are in Christ.
Do offer to pray with him and for him.
Do present the truth of the Gospel.

We cannot argue someone into Christianity. We can only present the truth of the Gospel and rely on the Holy Spirit for the rest. God's will be done.

God bless,
Knight

 

[wvmtnkid]

Good advice so far, kimber. Still praying for you.

 

[kimber1]

thanks everyone for all the advice and prayers. My best friend gave me the man's address and phone number yesterday but when i asked if she wanted to go see him with me she said no- and that she "had made her peace with the situation " already. How can you make peace with the fact that someone who may not be saved is going to die?

So, I guess it's up to me. I'm trying to decide whether to sit down and write a letter first before I actually visit. I don't know. I'm still praying for the right words but I guess I really just need to sit down adn start writing adn see where it leads!

ANyway, thanks, and continued prayers would be appreciated!!

 

[KeepTheFaith15]

Lord im at a loss for words at this one i was also brought up as homosexuality being wrong but i also understand where only human and we have hard times on this earth but Lord i just pray you give her the words to say to this man and help him see that he's lost without you and that he still had a good chance of being saved until you do take him away from this world, the suffering he'll have when he leaves is so much worse Lord just give kimber peace and words for the situation. Amen

 

[kimber1]

well, i just sat down and wrote a little note to this man, that I plan on giving to my hubby to give to this man's significant other. (they work together). I thought maybe I'd post it here and get your response as to whether this is a good place to start. i talked with my pastor last night and he said the worst feeling in the world was to have someone die without getting or taking the opportunity to witness to them. he told me to start easy though but to keep in mind this man may not have much time left. let me know what you think good or bad.

Dear Larry,

I don’t exactly know how to start this so I’ll just dive in. I’ve been told about the battle that you are facing now concerning your health and I just have to say that my heart just goes out to you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I really wasn’t given any details. I think I was told because the person knew I would want to pray for you.

About 3-4 years ago I rededicated my life to God, have attended church regularly, have witnessed to the best of my ability and haven’t always been received the way I would like but that’s all part of being a Christian I guess.

Anyway, my first thought when I heard about you was Lord, please let this man be saved. It has left such a burden on my heart to talk to you. The thought of someone I know and care about going to hell is just more than I can bear. I’m not going to beat you down about your lifestyle. My only concern is that if you haven’t yet, that you find the Lord. I’m not the best with words and have a long ways to go as far as witnessing but I have a huge compassion for people now and just want them to know they have a choice of a better place to go.

If you at all have any interest in talking with me please let me know. Or if all you need is someone to hold your hand I want you to know that I’m here for you and my prayers are with you.

I apologize ahead of time if this offends either you or Tim in that maybe I shouldn’t even know what’s going on. I have nothing but the best intentions at heart.

Then i added my phone number adn said if he needed or wanted to talk I 'm here. any thoughts from anyone?

 

[fieldmouse3]

That was a great note. It's wonderful how much you care about these people!

 

[altya]

I'm praying that your note speaks to his heart.

 

[scaddigs]

Personally, I'd leave out the part re: his 'lifestyle'. Although I DO believe homosexuality is a sin against God, I believe that that one, small reference could actually harden his heart. Mentioning his homosexuality in the letter, may be perceived as more of the same 'gay bashing' he has endured his entire life.
While I think some follow a gay lifestyle because of a perverse personality 'quirk' (say that 3 times real fast! lol), I also feel that many are BORN this way. My brother was gay. (he died of AIDS 7 yrs. ago). There was a detectable 'difference' in him that was noticable from the age of 6. I have a cousin that our family saw the same traits in as he was growing up, as well. As you've already surmised...he's gay.
I am a straight female. I did not CHOOSE to like boys as I was growing up. I do not CHOOSE to be attracted to males as an adult; it was/is NATURAL for me. At no point did I make a decision in this. A question to other 'straight' readers: How was it for you as you were growing up? Did you CHOOSE to to be attracted to the opposite sex or did it just HAPPEN?
Something happened in the gene pool of schizophrenics, those born with physical defects, etc. Why would it be impossible that the same could happen re: homosexuality? Testosterone & estrogen levels gone awry can cause *****cent boys to develope breasts or girls beards.
Homosexuals live their whole lives, feeling judged by others; not to mention the innate feeling that it IS wrong that is within themselves. I think what we have to remember is that sin is sin. WE are the ones who justify that THIS sin (whatever it may be) is much worse than THAT (whatever it may be) one & vice versa. Do we feel the very same compulsion to speak to someone who is lost, who is NOT a homosexual?
ANYWAY.... (lol)
Assuming this man isn't saved, homosexuality is not the ONLY sin seperating him from God.
Ok....now someone come along & sum up in ONE sentence what it just took me 47 minutes to type out! lol
God bless,
Lynn

 

[kimber1]

well, i mailed my letter off this past saturday but haven't heard anything yet. i'll just have to keep praying that something good comes from this.