Need Understanding and advice

[~PICKLE~]

Haven't been here in a while, but thought this was this place to bring my concern and maybe get some outside advice.

I'm 30 yrs old with 2 children. A boy that is 8 and a daughter that is 3. I'm not a perfect mom but I try my best to put my children first and look out for thier needs 100%. They are my world and i love them so very much.

Well let me explain.....I do not work because i have this fear of anyone watching my children. For one no one will treat my kids like I will or take care of them like i will. 2 I just don't trust no one. There are so many werid~o's in the world today and that is my biggest fear. That some creep will take advantage of one of my kids and distroy their world. I myself have never that i know of been abused. I have stated to my mother if I had and don't remember......than i'd rather just not remember. i have friends that have been abused and I don't want my kids to end up like that. That's another reason why I'm writing this here...i can't voice my concern to my friends.

Maybe i'm just over protective...I dunno. I don't allow my kids out of my site anytime....I am always outside with them when they play and I hate when they go to friends houses cause i never know what is going on.
My daughter has done many strange things. Let me explain....a year ago Tae had disappered in the house while i was doing dishes...So i went looking for her and found that she had a electric tooth brush and she was using it aganist herself. i flipped. i asked the doctor and he said it was normal that she had found something that felt good. Didn't make me feel any better. She always has her hands down her pants. and what really gets me is sometimes she screams and cries that her privates hurt. Now i have checked her out and she seems intact to me(i'm no doctor though) She is red down there, but when i think about it, she is not a very good wiper, and that could be the cause of the irratation. Last night i had to put her in the bath to calm her down and sooth the pain. Just scared me to death though. Something so simple that probably has a reason behind it makes me jittery. my fear has over come me.......

One more thing that has me concerned.....Even though i am outside with me kids. my daughter is one fast and sneaky little girl....i really think she watches my every move and takes her chance at the perfect moment. I may be talking to my son or the phone may ring and i may look a way for a moment and she takes off. And she usually goes straight to a old man house that lives by us down the walk way. He is always giving the kids candy and is so friendly to the kids..... now you may think that the man is a little nice old man that loves kids. Well he ain't he is a old nasty creepy man that is known to have to worst of worst hang out at his house. CPS was called on him last year because his teen step daughter had told the school he had messed with her. Cps came and he had to leave for a little while then he came back and nothing ever came out of it. And when i say he is creepy......when i first met him 8 yrs ago before i knew anything about him he gave me the creeps...something about him. I have talked to my daughter many times about staying away from his house, but shes 3 and she know he has candy. Now she doesn't run to his house all the time, cause we are usually playing a game or digging in the dirt or something....but if the phone rings or my son gets hurt playing football or something and I turn to see what it is she takes off. makes me feel like I've done something wrong when she does that.

i know my thoughts are all over the place and they are prolly jumbled... I have all this on my head and writing it is very different than talking about it.

I don't know what to do, am I being over protective? Are my fears ligit? How can i better myself with my daughter. there are no little girls for her to play with so she has boys and Reed's friends and i totally don't trust one of them either. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr help me...Pray for me or something.... I can't think about it with out being parinoid.

 

[Neenie1]

I can understand your fears perfectly. Part of the reason I am worried about my son at school. (although he does go to school, I can't be with him all the time and you just don't know)


I am going to sit on this and think it over a while.

You are in my prayers.

 

[Mayzoo]

I was messed with (molested) as a child--I am over the hump of recovery (sorta) but go with your gut on this one......if the man gives you the creeps, do everything you have to to keep those precious ones away from him. Check the local sex offender site--link is here:

https://records.txdps.state.tx.us/DPS_WEB/Sor/index.aspx

Go to the sex offender search and just use your zip code (it is offline till 6am tomorrow ). If you want/need any help with this search I am more than willing to help where I can!! I found out a sex offender lives across the street!! AND they offered to baby sit my sweetheart.

I worry too, my family--MY OWN FAMILY is speckled with offenders--none convicted. PM me more or use one of my IM's (AIM) is my favorite personally.

Mayzoo

 

[sparassidae]

I totally understand your fears, just thought I'd shed a bit of light on your daughter's 'painful privates' issue.

It is entirely possible she has a UTI (urinary tract infection) from poor wiping, touching with dirty hands/other things (which is very normal, if a bit awkward) or both. Or she could be red and sore just from touching herself too much. We have had this with our daughters at about that age.

Definitely keep her away from the sleazy old man.

 

[Stan53]

My little girl is 3.75 and she is not allowed outside on her own under any circumstances. Full stop. Period. End of story.
The best protection against miss treatment of our kids is to keep our kids beside us. My wife is blind so we are very careful. If your "mummy radar" is going off then you best pay attention to your "mummy radar". But I would caution against accussing the guy. It's tough when you have false accussations labeled againsts you. Your daughters best protection is you.
If your daughter is not wipping her self properly, and many including ours don't, then get her to use diaper wipes. You know, those wipes you use on babies bumms. That's what we get our little girl to do.

 

[Jilly123]

I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this fear. I also have moments when I am very anxious about my daughter. I'm a bit of a control freak and feel a bit of panic if anything happens to my daughter that is out of my control. Fear can be a terrible thing.

I would keep her away from this old man at all costs. I agree with Stan, you have to trust your "mummy radar". You may be wrong, but rather be safe than sorry. I think if you are in a situation where they are playing outside and you need to answer the phone etc. take your daughter by the hand with you. If you have to give your attention completely to something else like a phone call make sure you are holding onto her. I'm sure she'll protest but rather that than have her run to the neighbor's place.

As far as putting her hands down her pants, although you must be aware and keep an eye on it, don't panic. Like Sparassidae posted, it may be a little awkward but it's very normal for toddlers to be exploring their body parts. I have no experience with this sort of thing, but I assume there would also be some other signs if she had been abused. Just watch her very carefully.

Praying for you!