Need to stop

[roamin]

Hi everyone, I have been seeking some place to share my thoughts where others who believe might be able to offer me some support, suggestions,etc.

I was a "party girl" for many years, but scaled way, way back after a divorce and being a single mom. I've always believed, but it wasn't until my Dad was dx'd with Alzheimers that I was truly led to Christ.

I work regularly on my relationship and walk with the Lord, and it is the only thing that is reliable, and that has a true positive effect on my life. I so believe in God, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and although I wish I was a "better Christian" I know that He loves me, my behavior is no surprise to Him, and so, I keep trying.

When my Dad was dx'd, my brother and I took on the task of finding care and manageing him during his illness. One glass of wine turned into a bottle while reasearching, to alleviate the pain and stress. Since then, I have had a back and forth battle with alcohol.

I do not drink every day or night, and have cut way, way back. But, often when I am stressed, I turn to the bottle as an escape. And there is currently a LOT of stress in my life. I have been stronger than usual, and do not drink many nights. But it seems that once a week or week and a half, I will have 3 -6 drinks when in an emotional state, and feel just awful the next day.

I have stopped beating myself up, and remind myself God loves me despite my faults. But I am being led to stop drinking.

My husband likes to have a couple beers here and there, and is no way an alcoholic. All our friends drink socially. It is going to be very, very hard to stop. But, I want to, and have to, to give my body a true break, to prove I can do it, and simply because the Holy Spirit is telling me I need to do this.

I need to find something else to replace this habit when I am stressed or feeling down.

I read thru some other's stories, and am glad I was led to this site. I could use all the prayers that there are, and any words of support or suggestions.

The scripture that states "why do I do what I don't want to do, and don't do what I want to do...." well, that's me. I pray to God to give me the strength I will need, and to lead me to sobriety, and praise Him for helping me find this site.

 

[wells14]

Hi, I'm new to the site and I'm a born again Christian and I'm still learning the bible. I became a Christian again after I was a party girl too for a number of years. The alcohol was tearing the family and me apart.

I was sober for 2 and 1/2 yrs and a couple of months ago I relapsed and felt sick for 3 days and then just a couple days ago I did it again and I don't want to go back to drinking. It does not block my bad emotions. It makes them worse. I thought I could sneak a couple beers a couple times a week, and my husband would not find out. A couple days ago he came home and I was smashed on beer.

I've been going through some stuff with my mom being put in a nursing home and her health and I think that triggered my wanting a drink. I'm keep reminding myself not to destroy myself with alcohol and not be a drunkard as the bible says. Today will be day 4 with out a drink and I just don't want to drink again. I tried cutting back but I can't, I end up bingeing. Then I'm sick for 3 days and beat myself up too. I will pray today for you and me to stay sober minded.

I will search the internet for Pastors to listen to during the day and many of them have messages on putting down the bottle. I'm working too, on being a better Christian.

 

[roamin]

wells14, I will pray for you also. It is so hard when you think you can control it, and then, you can't. Last night, after drinking caffeine during the day, which I can't do cause it keeps me awake, I decided to have 2 glasses of wine to take the edge off. Then I had to take a Xanax, cause the wine did nothing. I went to bed late, and got up later than I wanted. I feel ok, but I am upset that I couldn't abstain just one night after feeling like crap the day before.

I pray God will continue to convict me because I know I need to take a serious break. I have a family get together today, one of my cousins is sober for years, but the rest love to drink. It will be a test. We shall see.

Good for you for the sobriety that you did experience. You can do it again. I wish there was a magic wand, or a scripture that I could repeat over and over to switch my brain from when I want to drink.

Good luck. Stay in touch. Maybe we can help each other thru this. I will be here if you need anything.
God bless.

 

[wells14]

I also take Xanax to sleep and ativans in the day for anxiety. I use to take trazedone to sleep, but I was having terrible nightmares on them. I have problems sleeping. I will sleep for 3 hrs and then up for 2 hrs and back to sleep for maybe another 3 hrs.

I also went to AA meetings the first 3 weeks I quit drinking over 2 yrs ago, it gave me someplace to go and talk about my drinking. There are some that are believers of God and Jesus and some who aren't. I think it's in Mark 8 where Jesus says to be his follower to put aside our own pleasures and shoulder your cross and follow him and I know in Proverbs, there are passages about not being a drunkard and be sober minded. I try to think of that when a desire to drink hit's me.

It's tough because alcohol is so addicting. I'm sure we can help each other. I ran some errands this morning trying to keep busy.

Maybe you can talk to your cousin, about not drinking, but I know sometimes we want to keep family out of our problems. Good Luck at the family function.

Lori

 

[wells14]

I'm still learning the Bible and I attend Bible Studies, and I don't know the bible that well. I started with Proverbs and Psalms. I hope you family gathering went well.

 

[wells14]

Hi
How are you doing?

 

[Autumnleaf]

Go to AA if you want to stop drinking. They will tell you have to do it and its cheap.