I'm a rather complex and very strange person with a rather hard life.
I've been through the illnesses,being homeless,house fire,poverty,having it good,etc. I have literally just about seen everyside of the coin but I am only in my early 20's.I know I am living proof that god is powerful in all things.I should have been dead by 14 of a severe respiratory disorder with no cure but I died and ran into some person that did'nt exist do some very advanced procedures on my body that have no description honestly all with no one seeing her.I have not been right since.I had a very hard time going back to life as normal.I went through 4 years of changes.First was personality,Second Knowledge,Third Beliefs,Fourth Finding the Past.I still deal with concepts,ideas,knowledge that I never learned in a school.They seem to come from nowhere but it's coming from somewhere.I left the church thing because my religion now is based on everyone of them.I was raised as a strict christian but now I talk to people and it's like that concept is budhist,thats native american,etc.I was never taught these things and I really never saw any of them.I can't say they are wrong because they are coming from me nor do I believe them to be evil.Alot of them are not even modern some very old.The problem I have is many of them are considered not christian.I don't think it's bad because I am equipped mentally and spiritually to deal with anything tossed at me.It seems I have been given a swiss army knife of religions to cope with life.I find helping people very easy since I have seen many things.Not to many people can honestly know what life can toss your way.I have problems with the "mystical" aspects of somethings I know.I don't why I know how to use curses,etc.I will not perform any of this type of religion but it is there.I believe that this negative behavior has power in some aspects.
A family member had a tattoo done by a devil artist 20 years ago and has had very bad things happen to them so I instructed them on how to reverse the effects of this.Sometimes I am scared of myself and will shut off to try and understand where it came from.I know that god leaves us to our own to take care of ourselves so I look inside to pull out what I need to move on.People do not like me they say I am scary.
People tell me that I act like a soldier and I talk like a scholar sometimes.
I have been aproached by satanist people a few times in my life.One was a neighbor that said freaky things to me.This evil soul made me turn stone cold to the touch.That same night I woke up and felt like someone was choking me in my sleep.I woke up and felt rushes of energy come from my body then it stopped.The lady after that left me alone and would not even pass me in the hall of my building.It seems as though I can't have any real friends.People for some reason avoid me because they say just me being around makes them feel weird they say I have a powerful prescence.I find it difficult to talk with people everyday on their level because I start talking of things that go over their head.
I am often miserable because I hate the way people are and I hate the way the world is.I do not follow any norms of the societal structure because they are outright nasty.I hear people say we are not made to go at it alone but for me it seems to make no difference.I operate the same alone or with people and I find I do not get lonely.I did'nt find any peace until I started doing martial arts then all the anger left,etc.I still have not changed though but nothing bothers me now.My question is why might this have happened to me?I have the equivalent of about a 4th grade education because I was sick but I had all the knowledge to get myself into college.I'm on a spiritual journey like everyone else just mine seems to have so many side paths that somehow fit together.
I've been through the illnesses,being homeless,house fire,poverty,having it good,etc. I have literally just about seen everyside of the coin but I am only in my early 20's.I know I am living proof that god is powerful in all things.I should have been dead by 14 of a severe respiratory disorder with no cure but I died and ran into some person that did'nt exist do some very advanced procedures on my body that have no description honestly all with no one seeing her.I have not been right since.I had a very hard time going back to life as normal.I went through 4 years of changes.First was personality,Second Knowledge,Third Beliefs,Fourth Finding the Past.I still deal with concepts,ideas,knowledge that I never learned in a school.They seem to come from nowhere but it's coming from somewhere.I left the church thing because my religion now is based on everyone of them.I was raised as a strict christian but now I talk to people and it's like that concept is budhist,thats native american,etc.I was never taught these things and I really never saw any of them.I can't say they are wrong because they are coming from me nor do I believe them to be evil.Alot of them are not even modern some very old.The problem I have is many of them are considered not christian.I don't think it's bad because I am equipped mentally and spiritually to deal with anything tossed at me.It seems I have been given a swiss army knife of religions to cope with life.I find helping people very easy since I have seen many things.Not to many people can honestly know what life can toss your way.I have problems with the "mystical" aspects of somethings I know.I don't why I know how to use curses,etc.I will not perform any of this type of religion but it is there.I believe that this negative behavior has power in some aspects.
A family member had a tattoo done by a devil artist 20 years ago and has had very bad things happen to them so I instructed them on how to reverse the effects of this.Sometimes I am scared of myself and will shut off to try and understand where it came from.I know that god leaves us to our own to take care of ourselves so I look inside to pull out what I need to move on.People do not like me they say I am scary.
People tell me that I act like a soldier and I talk like a scholar sometimes.
I have been aproached by satanist people a few times in my life.One was a neighbor that said freaky things to me.This evil soul made me turn stone cold to the touch.That same night I woke up and felt like someone was choking me in my sleep.I woke up and felt rushes of energy come from my body then it stopped.The lady after that left me alone and would not even pass me in the hall of my building.It seems as though I can't have any real friends.People for some reason avoid me because they say just me being around makes them feel weird they say I have a powerful prescence.I find it difficult to talk with people everyday on their level because I start talking of things that go over their head.
I am often miserable because I hate the way people are and I hate the way the world is.I do not follow any norms of the societal structure because they are outright nasty.I hear people say we are not made to go at it alone but for me it seems to make no difference.I operate the same alone or with people and I find I do not get lonely.I did'nt find any peace until I started doing martial arts then all the anger left,etc.I still have not changed though but nothing bothers me now.My question is why might this have happened to me?I have the equivalent of about a 4th grade education because I was sick but I had all the knowledge to get myself into college.I'm on a spiritual journey like everyone else just mine seems to have so many side paths that somehow fit together.
