Need Support

[madison1101]

Hello Everyone,
I am in need of online support these days. I was a member of a Yahoo Group, but for some reason, Yahoo is not working right, and I cannot access my groups.

I had some good sobriety, over 6 years, from 2001 till 2007. The relapse that followed was wicked. I did two years of outpatient treatment at two differenet facilities and I really struggled to get sober. I would accumulate a few months and then go on a week long binge. I am also bipolar and was not always compliant with my medications.

In January, I was taking Vicodin for pain, legitimate prescription, but the pill were not working. I ended up taking multiple pills at a time and then washing it down with a bottle of wine. I checked myself in to a psychiatric unit, and spent 6 days there. From there, I went to an inpatient rehab for 12 days.

Since then, I have worked on my steps, but am currently stuck, waiting to do my fifth step. One of the things I had never completed was all 12 steps under the guidance of a sponsor. I have the same sponsor I had in January, and I am going to meetings and trying to reach out. I need to do more, like be in service. On October 15, I will have nine months sober.

I hope there are people here that can share their story of how they got the steps completed, and also got through the first year of sobriety.

Trish

 

[Lyndie]

Hi Trish. Good job on the nine months so far. I am a recovering alcoholic myself. I also relapsed at the same spot and for me it was out of fear. Those 4 and 5 steps are tough. I also attended AA however I knew, as a christian that thier view of having a 'higher power' wasn't enough for me. I needed more God in my program. I found out about Celebrate recovery and began going to those meetings. I don't know if you have heard of them but they are more Christ centered groups. They use the twelve steps but have corresponding biblical principals to go along with each step. It has made a huge difference in my recovery. On a side note, the church where the meetings were eventually became my home church because I had been thinking of changing. God in His infinite wisdom knew that, and I have never been so at home in any other place.
http://www.celebraterecovery.comyou can find meetings through this site.

 

[madison1101]

Hi Trish. Good job on the nine months so far. I am a recovering alcoholic myself. I also relapsed at the same spot and for me it was out of fear. Those 4 and 5 steps are tough. I also attended AA however I knew, as a christian that thier view of having a 'higher power' wasn't enough for me. I needed more God in my program. I found out about Celebrate recovery and began going to those meetings. I don't know if you have heard of them but they are more Christ centered groups. They use the twelve steps but have corresponding biblical principals to go along with each step. It has made a huge difference in my recovery. On a side note, the church where the meetings were eventually became my home church because I had been thinking of changing. God in His infinite wisdom knew that, and I have never been so at home in any other place.
http://www.celebraterecovery.comyou can find meetings through this site.

I have heard of Celebrate Recovery, and find their meetings inconvenient. I have no problem with AA. I know who my God is, and I have a Recovery Bible for my devotions. I have been in AA for 20 years, and would not want a different recovery program at this time. I know what I did wrong in the past, and do not plan on repeating that mistake. Because I am on disability, I go to my AA meetings in the morning, when I am well enough to attend. I do not like to go out at night if I can help it.

Thanks for the support.

 

[Sunshine7]

You're in my prayers, Madison and Lyndie. Be good to yourself. My friend's dad is a recovering alcoholic. He's taking vitamins and minerals and says it's easier to stay on track when he does because his doctor says alchoholics need riboflavin and b vitamins. Anyway...god bless and go easy on yourself. You're doing a great job and set a good example for others struggling.

 

[hotsauce5000]

9 moths! way to go madison. youve been around aa a lot longer than i have so theres not much i can say in that respect.
howver, i can say that you have to really really want permanent sobriety. you should pray that its gods will to keep you that way.

besides, you dont want to have to give up those beautiful coins you earned right? i am very proud of mine and keep them in my truck with me since i drive a lot. but they are just coins, the meaning behind them is the point.

praying for you madison.

 

[billdoolinn]

madison, have you developed a relapse prevention program? Also, one of the more powerful tools is to make a "list". This list will serve as a reminder to you why you do not want to use. Impulsive thinking or thinking that obsesses over whether or not one should pick up can be countered with the "list". First write down all of the reasons or things that using did "for you". The list should be short. Then write down all the things that were negative, or what using did "to you". The negative column should be very long depending on how long you used or how toxic your addiction was. Give yourself time to think about everything. Such as how it effected your relationships, finances, health mentally, physically and spiritually, daily activities, job and so forth. The purpose of the list is to act as a reminder to help maintain your sobriety. God bless

 

[madison1101]

madison, have you developed a relapse prevention program? Also, one of the more powerful tools is to make a "list". This list will serve as a reminder to you why you do not want to use. Impulsive thinking or thinking that obsesses over whether or not one should pick up can be countered with the "list". First write down all of the reasons or things that using did "for you". The list should be short. Then write down all the things that were negative, or what using did "to you". The negative column should be very long depending on how long you used or how toxic your addiction was. Give yourself time to think about everything. Such as how it effected your relationships, finances, health mentally, physically and spiritually, daily activities, job and so forth. The purpose of the list is to act as a reminder to help maintain your sobriety. God bless

Billdoolin,
If you had read my most recent post, I am 10 months sober, in AA. I have been in AA for a very long time, and have a sponsor and have been working the steps of AA. I go to regular AA meetings and meet with other people who are less sober than me.

 

[Chaplain David]

Glad you're staying clean and sober. I know Gorski. He's decent but only one egg in a large basket of so-called recovery experts. His program is not as popular as it once was and he's not "in vogue" among counseling professionals like he used to be. Yes resentment is a huge problem for us but also for man/womankind. But for us it's worse because it can lead to relapse. Most of our problems regarding alcohol, drugs, and life in general (except for abuse perpetrated against us) are of our own making and that includes resentments. It is rare indeed that we walk out on the street, stretch are arms, think, "oh it's a beautiful day," and then we start having resentments. We usually do something interpersonally to cause upset which leads to resentment or we just don't like the way someone else is going about things. The problem is, we have our eyes in backwards and that makes us look at ourselves, our needs, our wants, first. I believe both as Christians and as people in recovery we need to look to our fellows, our brothers and sisters, and rather than concentrate on what we can do for ourselves or what is not being done for us, we need to focus on what we can do for others. And tonight is my Monday night discussion meeting where we are coincidentally discussing the last part of the 12th step. I'll list it here for you as I do not know if you are in AA.

12th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Having had a Spiritual awakening as the result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.

God bless you.

 

[billdoolinn]

Thank you for the insight, I will carry that with me. Happy Thanksgiving.

 

[Criada]

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Thanks

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