Need some help here people

[looksgood]

Ok...I know this is prolly gona damage my reputation. I know that some people tend to see me as a strong man of God and all. Why I will never know. But I never cared about reputation anyway. And if someone can't understand that we ALL have our problems and our failures...well then they are worse off than I am. It dosen't matter to me if they think less of me because in truth who am I anyway?! If you thought I was the lowest form of dirt you would be right. I was made from the dirt! But I just don't care what anyone thinks about me...I need some help.

For a while now I have been in this place. I have been here before. Almost didn't come out of it. It got so bad I had to sleep with the lights on and the tv going with a preacher on it just because I felt like the dark would overtake me. I had to "feel" like there was some kinda light. Because the darkness inside me was too much to take.

I am not at the point now where I sleep with the lights on. But I see it comeing. I see myself spiraling down and don't know how to stop. I wouldn't post for help in it but it is important to me that I don't lose the light inside me to the darkness I see. I pray and feel nothing...it is almost as though I feel like God thinks I am mocking Him by praying because of my sins. I keep saying...NO MORE! I keep asking God forgive me and then a few seconds later I am back in the same sins. It's like I have no control over myself. This has caused me to lay the bible down. I used to read it every day. Now I became what I dispise most. A sunday only christian.

How do I gain control again? How do I TRUELY repent? How do I fight the dark off again?

 

[yonderboy]

To trully repent all you need is the desire to step away from your sins, and the honest heart to admit them to God.. for the LONGEST time i was trapped in believing that God was tired of my asking him for forgiveness - that he was punishing me physically for my sins instead of forgiving me. That's the DEVIL talking. I'll say that again, because it's important. Any voice that tells you that god isnt listening is the Devil. Ultimate evil. God will never leave you alone, and will never turn his back on you - if you ever find yourself believing that he does, you've bought into the enemy's biggest lie. Satan wants us to be weak, to feel alone - it makes us easier targets for him. If we try to fight him off alone, we will lose the battle, no question about it.

When you go to God, he's waiting with open arms to hold you. He understands that we're weak, and that we fall short. Get this: he even knows everytime you're going to fall short in the future. Ya know what? He still takes you back, even knowing you're going to fall again. A million failures dont upset god as much as it does if you don't get back up to follow him after a fall.

God loves you, and he'll strengthen you... Have faith, when you call his name there's power there!

It's good that you know enough not to worry about reputation - no true christian will ever judge another christian who is so obviously trying, and struggling. It's our duty to help each other out.

Tonight im praying for you Bro.. PM me, or IM me if you ever need to talk.

Lord, bind the minions and situations dragging him down,
wrap them in ropes and cast them to the ocean floor,
where they cant torment him any longer

RUMBLE within his soul, let him know your presence
and your strength,
and let him feel your embrace tonight

Calm his fears, and teach him,
keep him warm and fed,
and let him grow.

give him the strength to keep standing
the courage to keep seeking help,
and the knowledge that he is loved

AMEN.

 

[IKTCA]

My friend,

I wish I could help you. I wish I could do something for you. But the help comes from the Lord alone.

[After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will raise us up.

Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord;
his appearance is as sure as the dawn.] (Hosea 6:2-3)

As our Lord endured 2 days, let us endure 2 days. On the third day, the Lord will appear. I will keep you in my prayers for two days.

Rupert

 

[Pastor Frank]

Your request for help started out well but apparently you are still afraid of public opinion because you never explained in detail the exact nature of your problem or even what sins you think you are engaged in.

Here are some key words you printed:"I have been in this place","darkness","no control over myself","lay the Bible down","God thinks I am mocking Him by praying".These words are the type of words used by people experiencing demon possession which does happen to Christians.If that's the case,you need help from an experienced minister trained to deal with this problem.The dramatic words you used are also sometimes used by young men who have been deceived by ignorant people into believing that the bodily function of touching yourself, a waste disposal technique similar to urination,is a horrible sin.I have seen young men brought to the point of suicide by guilt ignorant people fill them with for engaging in a physical function God created in our bodies.If this is the case,then you need to consult with a medical doctor who can explain to you how your reproductive system has been designed to work.The false guilt this non-existant sin creates in people sometimes causes them to give up their faith because they are made to feel so evil for removing waste material from their bodies.If this is the case with you,think about the source of your guilt feelings.Have biblical teachings made you feel evil or the opinions of someone unfamiliar with the human body.When you ponder about how your beliefs are hurting you and most importantly,DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.reflect on the true nature of what you were taught.A verse to think about is,"By their fruits you shall know them."Your message looks like you have been brought to a mental and spiritual breaking point by people who claim to spreading light when in fact they are spreading ignorant darkness that destoys relationships with God because of totally false and unbiblical guilt.

 

[scott29]

As pointed out in previous responses, one of the devil's tricks is to convince us that our sin has separated us from God and that He no longer cares.

Matthew 18:21
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" 22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

If we are to forgive others seventy times seven times, how much more do you think God will forgive us when we come to him with a repentant and sorry heart? I don't know the details of your problem, but it seems like Satan has convinced you that your sins are too many for God to waste his time on you anymore. This is not true! To buy into that is to say that Jesus death on the cross was not enough to wash away your sins.

To 'fight off the dark', you need to first realize that the darkness is there because you are allowing Satan to put it there. Don't let him do it. If you give in to sin, obviously you need to pray and repent of it. That's between you and God. However, when you ask for His forgiveness with a repentant heart, you need to know that it is immediately given. Jesus died on the cross to guarantee it, and his death was sufficient. When those feelings of uselessness come, rebuke them. They are not of God. There's a difference between being sorrowful and sorry for your sin and letting it take control and rob you of your freedom in Christ. Be confident in your forgiveness and recognize the feelings afterwards for what they are - Satan's trickery. Be defiant in the face of evil and send the message to Satan that you know you're forgiven and that he has no power to steal it away from you - because he doesn't.

I'm praying for you. May God bless and keep you and remind you of His love.
Scott

 

[deg]

Pastor Frank:

These words are the type of words used by people experiencing demon possession which does happen to Christians.If that's the case,you need help from an experienced minister trained to deal with this problem.

I would encourage you to watch your words, pastor. You have just spoken a word of darkness to a man needing light. Did you know that the power of darkness and light dwell in the tongue? Watch what you say. Oppression and occupation are two very different spiritual states, and the only minister who has any capability for this realm is the Son of God. I say again, Jesus will set the bonded free.

Brother LG, muchly loved and prayed for brother,

These brothers have spoken good and true words to you about repentance. The darkness will accompany sin. Every time you choose the sin, you choose the darkness. Let that word sink in brother, because I am here to tell you that the Lord will set free and completely liberate those who choose to crown Jesus as King. It is apparent you have not crowned Him King in one specific area, and are repeatedly denying Him. You are not a victim to repeated sins, everytime it is a choice, a choice to sin and disobey direct command, and to take His crown from Him. "Choose Life." (Deu 30:19) Choose Light. Choose the Love which casts out fear. Choose Him. I find a mentality which accompanies repeated sin is one of "I'm carried away in the current of sin, in the undertow." I am here to tell you there is no current, there is no undertow. It is a lie constructed in your mind, to blind you into believing you that you are being swept away, so that the choice to sin becomes more viable. Cut it down at the very roots, brother. Do not ever listen to the voice that says "you are being swept into this, it is coming," because they are lies from the father of them. All you have to do is stand.(Eph 6:13) Don't move. Don't go anywhere. Just stand there (spiritually). Satan will try to "sweep" you into something. Do not move, in Jesus Name, DO NOT MOVE.

 

[looksgood]

Thx, friends. Espectialy deg and those who offered prayers. I suppose maybe I did wrong and "got weary in well doing." Beleive it or not is takes a lot out of a person to serve God in this world. But there IS more. I just would rather not post about it.

paster frank...thx for trying to help. I understand you didn't mean anything for harm. And no harm has come from your words to me. But I would like to point a few things out. Though I know I am NOT the best person to do so in my current situation.

These words are the type of words used by people experiencing demon possession which does happen to Christians.

I wanted to say that I do not believe it is possable for a demon to be inside a person right next to God. Because if the person IS a christian God is inside them and He doesn't share a house. If God is not with them then the person can not claim to be a christian. And I do not believe God leaves us. Because david who sined KNEW he sined. Yet he prayed take not thy spirit from me. That means He was still there. I do not know what it takes for the spirit of God to depart. But I pray God do not depart from me. And I don't believe He has. Else I would be further gone than I am.

The dramatic words you used are also sometimes used by young men who have been deceived by ignorant people into believing that the bodily function of touching yourself, a waste disposal technique similar to urination,is a horrible sin.

What makes it sin is the lust involved in it. That is why after marrage it ceases to be sin...because you can't lust for your own flesh. Because it is already your flesh and your wife has been joined to your flesh by GOD. So doing so thinking of your wife is not sin, but what about someone who ISN'T your wife? I disagree with you here. Only on the grounds of the thoughts of the mind because in the thoughts is sin.

I did not say the extent of my sins because it really shouldnt matter. Sin is sin no matter what it is. And for someone to read the EXACTS of a sin could cause threir own sinfull mind to turn. This is not my problem anyway though. My problem isn't sin, it is what is behind it.

 

[HolyRoller]

He doesn't answer prayers because He owes us, He answeres them because He is our Father and loves us. -A quote from endure
JESUS SAVES!!! If you let Him.
Come take a look at what is on my heart.
And lets get back to the sweet hour of prayer

.
Read your signature. It is true
God knows what is in your heart. He knows your needs. When you pray pray for His will to be done. When asking for forgiveness, pray for strengh to sin no more. I'm sorry is only as good as the effort not to do that sin again. You do not have to share your sins with us. But you do need to unburden yourself, give your burden to God.
This song is often my prayer.
I believe in God the Father, Christ his only son
The blessed Holy Spirit, distint yet three in one.
I believe there is forgiveness for everything we've done.
That is why, all the more I will serve Him.

you will be in our prayers

 

[IKTCA]

Where death lies, life is nearby.
Where destruction is, hope is standing near.
Where sin lurks, the power of the Word is on my side.

Therefore, Death and Darkness,
rise in all your power and might,
I come with the banner of Lord Jesus Christ.
Come, Despair and Destruction, and face me,
I come with peace and grace of the Lord Jesus.

Lord,
Come quickly, for the enemy is many and strong.
My flesh and what is in it is no match.
Rise my Lord with full glory and honor.
Let mountains tremble and the highest hills bow to you.
Let the angles blow the trumpets
and declare war against my enemy.

I trust in your grace and mercy.
Though I am weak, my help is strong.
In your care I rest and attain peace.
Lord, my soul praises you for your mercy is boundless.
In you I find refuge. Amen.

 

[c a s t i n c r o w n s]

To Looksgood: Don't just believe what you believe in your head you have to believe it in your heart. There's no magical words that I can say to help you out of your situation but I will be praying for you. And Iktca that was really pretty prayer did you write it?

:+:Lexi:+:

 

[Endure2]

looksgood

you said

. I pray and feel nothing...it is almost as though I feel like God thinks I am mocking Him by praying because of my sins. I keep saying...NO MORE! I keep asking God forgive me and then a few seconds later I am back in the same sins. It's like I have no control over myself.

you probly feel like God is mocking you becuase you think he would be.
if you didnt feel like God would be mocking you, you wouldnt have that assumption, God simply isnt mocking you.
sometimes you have to take heed to what the bible says about his mercy and grace and complete forgivness, not just the standards of holiness they raise.
our flesh will never feel forgiven, our flesh will never feel accepted.
you have to cast it down in that area the same way you do when it wants to do evil.
you have to excercise faith that you are forgiven, just like you would anything else. the devil doesnt just try cause us to do evil.
do you realise that if the devil cant make you stop seeking God, hell find another route?
like deceiving you into thinking God doesnt want you?
and i know youve heard all that before.
but you have to hold fast to what the bible says about forgivness in
1john 1.9. just like any other truth.
you have to hold fast to mercy and grace.
i am just beginning to understand, that it isnt DO DO DO, its DONE DONE DONE. it is finished.
i do not believe OSAS at all.
but in no way do i have to do anything to cause God to love me and accept me, that is finished. my sins may cause many things, but they will not effect Gods love toward me and his acceptance of me.
NO, God never mocks you.

You feel like God feels mocked by your prayers, that is simply a lie.
dont be decieved. i dont know anything emotional to say to help you FEEL forgiven. but it is our dependency on emotional things that is often our downfall. God doesnt always give us the benefit of emotion in an area, we simply have to believe, based on the word.
there will be a day when you do not have the privilige of emotional support of your inner beliefes, but you will have to continue anyway.
and God is trying to teach you this.
your need to FEEL forgiven, is also the flesh, and it is evil.

the lie that God mocks, is a lie, not becuase we feel it is, but becuase the bible says so.

you say that you always go back to the sin,
what does that matter?
God doesnt expect you be completely holy today or tommorow.
you arent doing those things becuase they are what you want, it is clear you hate them. you dont know how to stop and God knows this too.
dont let the devil decieve you into taking the blame, your being decieved.
you lived your life in bondadge to sin for years and years, you wont change your brain patterns and inbred ways of acting in a day or 2 days or many days.
but man your forgiven.
im in no way promoting acceptance of sin, but you cant waist time by hating what you did and hanging around trying to change the past when God isnt in the past and God is always moving forward and only has one mindset about you and that is forgivness.

in once place, paul condemned the pharisees becuase they refused the grace of God becuase they felt UNWORTHY.
it may seem like good humility, but it is not.
when a person turns away from grace becuase they dont feel worthy, it is treading on the blood of Jesus and saying to him that he was WRONG, NOT ENOUGH, VAIN, AND CARELESS AND POINTLESS.
it is PRIDE, EVIL CONCEITE, AND REBELLION, not humility. dont let your opinion of yourself override Gods opinion of you. and his opinion of you is ACCEPTED IN THE BELOVED!
the devil is a liar.

you can be free from sin, but freedom from sin is not an inherited value.
this is a war, and you can be defeated no matter how much you love God. stop attributing your defeats to a false sense of self evil. you arent sinning becuase your evil, your sinning becuase your young.
your continuance to fail, doesnt change Gods acceptance of you.

you said

Now I became what I dispise most. A sunday only christian

maybe you feel the way you do, becuase you felt better than those kind of Christians, and now that you are that way, you hate yourself as-well.
maybe you never understood that God loved them too.
maybe it wasnt a desire to be holy that made you hate sin, but a desire to be superior and better becuase of pride?

maybe it is pride that keeps you from being forgiven.
maybe it is prideful wanting to be superior that causes you to hate sin?
maybe it is your lack of understanding of Gods complete love that causes you to feel so guilty, and maybe that is because you didnt want to have to depend on it, and maybe that is pride?
maybe your desire to TRUELY repent isnt becuase you want to be right with God, but becuase you want to be somehow better than something else for some very wrong motive?

i dont know you, i could be very wrong.

you asked

How do I TRUELY repent?

repentance is just turning away from sin and turning to God.
it isnt a complete transformation of your ways and nature, that comes after simple repentance. continuance to sin doesnt imply a lack of repentance, just a weakness and an ignorance to principles and things that are at work agaisnt you. your not evil, your just inexperienced.

when you are angry at yourself becuase you arent what God wants you to be, but you do not accept what God says and feels about you... it is proof your motives for righteousness are not as pure as they appear.

if it was truely and purely humility and love for God that drove your passion, then you would also recieve his grace toward you and get up and move on with your life to please him, instead of trying to wait untill you have perfect image to showforth before you began your walk as a christian again.

well Godbless you, love you.
Lee.

 

[looksgood]

My friend,

I wish I could help you. I wish I could do something for you. But the help comes from the Lord alone.

[After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will raise us up.

Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord;
his appearance is as sure as the dawn.] (Hosea 6:2-3)

As our Lord endured 2 days, let us endure 2 days. On the third day, the Lord will appear. I will keep you in my prayers for two days.

Rupert

I don't know how many days it has been brother. But I bowed my head in prayer a few moments ago. I felt the peace of being reminded by God how I was in the begining. I didn't take an hour for prayer. Some times I forgot to say the blessing before a meal. But He reminded me of how much rest there was for me in it. Because I trusted in Him and loved Him for it. Because it didn't matter what went on, God was there.

I had to get my priorities right too. I think it is going to be the hardest thing in life for me. But I believe God has a way of making me know what I need. And that is Him first, then all other things added. Thx for the prayers. They have helped.

 

[yonderboy]

you know im still praying for ya bro.

 

[looksgood]

Thx, I still need the prayers. I mean I aint gone yet. But I am always in some battle at all times. Just like all us.

 

[MominTX]

I feel like those "Sunday only" Christians at times, and now I'm beginning to thank God all the time and pray more often and think about my actions. There have been weeks where I just went to church on Sunday, listened to my Christian music during the week and prayed at night before bed, but now I'm taking into consideration that God is here everyday and I should be thankful for that and acknowledge Him and He will therefore bless me. In the past couple days, things haven't been that great, but everytime something bad happened, I prayed or just thought of Jesus and I felt better about things, because I know God loves me and will always take care of me no matter what. If you have that attitude, you will feel better. Everybody sins and even if people judge you, just tell yourself, God has forgiven me because I have repented and accepted Jesus and even if this accuser thinks what I did is wrong, I know they are stating a fact but that I am saved and God understands. Thinking about this also helps me to avoid temptation because I know when I avoid doing something wrong, I feel better also. Well, I hope you feel better and will pray for you tonight.

 

[desi]

I pray I'm not the only one who doesn't understand the nature of this thread.

 

[seangoh]

hey looksgood. Just to remind you of something important. It's essential to our christian lives to get an accurate picture of God as far as our human capacities can comprehend. False images of God are what the devil will try to implant in peoples' minds and have tried since his fall. From what you said about God mocking you, i can tell you're not having the right picture of God at all. This is not the kind of God i worship. Yes, although God is all holy and pure, it doesn't mean that we are subjected to such humiliation or ideas about God as we compare ourselves to Him. When we finally stand in the 2nd coming and see Him face to face, we'll be bowing down and singing the song of Moses "Who shall not fear thee, O Lord, and glorify thy name? for thou only art holy: for all nations shall come and worship before thee; for thy judgments are made manifest." Rev 15:4

God sent His son Jesus to come to earth for at least 2 reasons, to provide us eternal life, and to reveal how God is really like. Throughout His life on earth, we would agree that He did not come to condemn but to seek and save what was lost.(luke 19:10). Why bother saving something that was lost if that something was not so precious and close to His heart? In Luke 15, we see 3 stories that tries to portray God's character.

In the first story, the shepherd "calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost." Luke 15:6
The joy of the shepherd was infinitely greater than that of the sheep, grateful though that poor creature might be.

In the second story, the woman who found the lost coin "calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost. "Luke 15:9. Joy that is shared with others is intensified in the heart of the person who shares it. Whoever has had the experience of finding again some article of value he feared irretrievably lost can understand the joy of this woman (cf. Rom. 12:15).

In the final story, the "father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry." Luke 15:22-24
The young man found himself, not a servant as he had hoped, but an honored guest at a banquet held to celebrate his return.

Through this, we see much earthly rejoicing, but of all the joys earth has to offer, there is no joy like that of finding a lost sinner and bringing him to Jesus. Why then, when a lost sinner is found, would God start mocking him for not meeting up to standards? Why would there be such a comparison in the first place? Because we're all sinners and therefore any form of comparison certainly falls short from God's glory. Thus, God does not compare our righteousness with His righteousness for He knows that it won't do any good. All He requires is that we take on His robe of righteousness and keep close to Him. And if we sin, the Lord delights when He sees us running back to Him and not somewhere else where we try to fix ourselves up before coming before Him.

As you can see, getting an accurate picture of God is what a christian needs to do to lead a fulfilling life on earth. If you agree with me, pick yourself up. If you don't agree with me, i'm sorry to say that your god which you serve is not the God that i serve. If you have a hard time believing what i just said, read Hebrews 11 and ask God to "help thou mine(your) unbelief. " Mark 9:24

 

[cyberwood]

As you can see, getting an accurate picture of God is what a christian needs to do to lead a fulfilling life on earth. If you agree with me, pick yourself up. If you don't agree with me, i'm sorry to say that your god which you serve is not the God that i serve. If you have a hard time believing what i just said, read Hebrews 11 and ask God to "help thou mine(your) unbelief. " Mark 9:24

seangoh,
Whose Gospel do you preach? Don't you remember that Paul wrote in Romans that the "love of God leads us to repentance"? Jesus Himself told us that "the Lord's yoke is light". If I broke my leg, would you tell me that I need to get to the hospital, or would you carry me all the way there? If a man does not worship the Lord of Truth that you worship but earnestly seeks the Truth, don't you trust that he will come to know the same Lord you know? Jesus assured us of this: "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened". If I do not desire to worship the living Lord, won't the Truth speak for itself? When you accuse looksgood, you accuse me. When you uplift looksgood, you uplift me. I have come to respect and earnestly read your words, as they both instruct and uplift me. Please friend, I beg you, if I am low, carry me until I am strong again, and I will do the same for you. Please, do the same for looksgood.

Looksgood,
There is one small thing I would like to share with you. I am proud of you. As a friend, I am proud, as a student, I am proud. For seeking help, you have already declared the Lord's victory. If I thought that I didn't need my fellow brothers and sisters to keep me focused, I would be the greatest fool of all. Anyone can declare strength, but it takes a man to declare his weakness. I have been going through similar trials, and if there is one lesson I have learned, it is that I *need* grace, or I will die. I am sinner, and if the Lord had not come to me, I would never have truly sought out the Lord. No one would have without grace (Romans 2). I pray that the Lord will strengthen you, and claim His victory in your life. I am confident that He will...it has already been set in motion in your heart.

Take care, and both, thank you for your wisdom...it has helped me a great deal in my walk.

-Chris

 

[seangoh]

yup, it was only when i posted all that then i realised i was kinda harsh. I didn't mean to sound accusing too. I definitely agree with cyberwood that if a brother is hurting, i'd help all i can and i think my post didn't seem to portray that. My main emphasis is just to present the essence. Next time i'll write more so everyone will get the full picture..hehe.
Sorry.

Edited: Ok, i made a big mistake. I tot he said God was mocking him which is not what he said. Big misunderstanding. Gotta read stuff more carefully next time. hehe.

 

[honeybee2]

Thx, I still need the prayers. I mean I aint gone yet. But I am always in some battle at all times. Just like all us.

I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine was having this problem, needing to sleep with lights on, feeling the presence of evil spirits, having things going 'bump' in the night that scared her even more. God told me to tell her something very simple. Remember that God inhabits the praises of His people...? Well, simply begin to praise Him. Sing to him all the songs of praise and hymns of praise that you can think of. And when you have finished, begin again. Soon your heart will begin to sense His presence.
Remember, this life is simple enough that a child can accomplish it. We must become as little children...Now i don't know if you are a father, but when my children would do something wrong and they had been punished, soon they would come over to me and say, Mommy, i love you. No parent can resist that, and God is no different.
Not only does God inhabit the praises of His people, but He is light, and where there is light, there can be no darkness...