Need Prayers, Advice, anything...

[slippinginfaith]

It all started when my long distance boyfriend (whom I met twice already and have spent 4 months in total together) broke up with me in May before he was supposed to come visit me. I was heart broken, messed up (and probably still am), and since then I have been trying to find a job, get my life together, etc. But so far I haven't found a job (actually started one in July but got fired after two months because they thought I wasn't doing a good job, though everyone on the team was responsible for the project that kept on being postponed).

I also got into another long distance relationship, although this time, my boyfriend isn't a Christian. I have always envisioned myself going to Church with my significant other, praying together, being able to talk to him about my faith, etc, but I can't do that now and things are quite difficult especially when we are faced with questions like "how much is too much intimacy, etc."

I love him dearly and I know he loves me a lot more, and a part of me thinks that I should just see where this relationship goes, because God might be using me as a person who will guide him to Him, but a part of me thinks maybe God wants me to just not be with him.

Ever since my break up, I have gone through hell and back. I have taken way too many sleeping pills, drank way too much wine, and cried until my tears were all dried up. And my boyfriend has been helping me going through this tough time of not being physically together with him and not knowing where my career is going (or just feeling of not having anything else work in my life but my relationship).

I recently read the book of Job and it's funny (and quite cruel) how God let satan meddle with Job like that, thinking that he should be faithful through all circumstances. And when he is angry at God, He responded, and when he finally repented, God gave a lot more than He took away.

I haven't gone through something that Job has (and hopefully never will), but still, my faith hasn't really been the same since the breakup, in which I feel like He took away the one person I really loved and become broken forever.

Any advice on what to do with the relationship, current life, forgetting the past, and improving my faith (or getting it back like how it was)?

 

[Chaplain David]

It all started when my long distance boyfriend (whom I met twice already and have spent 4 months in total together) broke up with me in May before he was supposed to come visit me. I was heart broken, messed up (and probably still am), and since then I have been trying to find a job, get my life together, etc. But so far I haven't found a job (actually started one in July but got fired after two months because they thought I wasn't doing a good job, though everyone on the team was responsible for the project that kept on being postponed).

I also got into another long distance relationship, although this time, my boyfriend isn't a Christian. I have always envisioned myself going to Church with my significant other, praying together, being able to talk to him about my faith, etc, but I can't do that now and things are quite difficult especially when we are faced with questions like "how much is too much intimacy, etc."

I love him dearly and I know he loves me a lot more, and a part of me thinks that I should just see where this relationship goes, because God might be using me as a person who will guide him to Him, but a part of me thinks maybe God wants me to just not be with him.

Ever since my break up, I have gone through hell and back. I have taken way too many sleeping pills, drank way too much wine, and cried until my tears were all dried up. And my boyfriend has been helping me going through this tough time of not being physically together with him and not knowing where my career is going (or just feeling of not having anything else work in my life but my relationship).

I recently read the book of Job and it's funny (and quite cruel) how God let satan meddle with Job like that, thinking that he should be faithful through all circumstances. And when he is angry at God, He responded, and when he finally repented, God gave a lot more than He took away.

I haven't gone through something that Job has (and hopefully never will), but still, my faith hasn't really been the same since the breakup, in which I feel like He took away the one person I really loved and become broken forever.

Any advice on what to do with the relationship, current life, forgetting the past, and improving my faith (or getting it back like how it was)?

Hi! My name is David and I'm one of the CF chaplains. I saw your thread and wanted to say a few words. I hope you find them helpful. I also invite you to start a confidential thread in the Ask a Chaplain Forum where we can talk at greater length if you want to.

I don't think there are too many people that sooner or later don't go through what you are experiencing. This doesn't diminish your pain but hopefully will give you some solace because it is part of the human condition to have difficulties sometimes. Besides being very painful it can also be like the sound of a new door opening.

Are you involved in a good bible based church? I ask this because it can be a real source of support when we are having the kind of difficulties you are having. It will help you grow closer to the Lord and enable you to do things that support your faith. Also, it can provide opportunities to be of service to others. It might seem like you don't have the strength to try and help someone else. But I bet that you do. There is nothing like helping others to keep our minds off of ourselves.

Another suggestion is that you talk with your pastor. Make an appointment with him and just relate what's been going on in your life. He can be a great source of support and can help you directly and guide you spiritually as well.

I am praying for you and hope the very best for you and yours.

Faithfully,